A Desire for the Best

“All musicians welcome! Bring your instrument and come rock the holiday with us!”

The flyer waved in Tommy’s hand as he closed his eyes against the breeze and envisioned wooing the party with his drumming skill. This could be his chance. This could be the moment he’s been fantasizing about. Not only has Tommy been yearning to find his fit in society, he’s been dreaming of showcasing his talent. The holiday was around the corner and he still had no plans. With no family and a very short list of friends, he assumed he’d be unwrapping presents from himself and ringing in the new year on the couch with his cat. Again. The fantastical scene unfolded in Tommy’s mind as he clutched the paper and stood motionless on the sidewalk, eyes slowing closing…

The party would of course be held at a mansion, an estate, a property of such breathtaking beauty that it would only attract the most elite crowd. This is where Tommy thought he fitted in with all his fantasies. He’d be the last one to arrive, the lesser already assembled inside and showing their mediocre skills on the trumpet, the flute, or the harmonica. Tommy would grab his compact drum kit from the back of his truck and stroll up to the door, swagger in his step. There’d be no need to knock – the host would see the stranger striding up the walk and race to welcome him. The door would open, Tommy would shake the man’s hand and make his way towards the center of the room. By this time the crowd would have parted like the Red Sea and all eyes would be on Tommy. They could feel his potential in the air. He could feel his own potential in the air. With the kit assembled, Tommy begins to blow the minds of everyone in attendance. He’d start off slow and ramp up quickly, throwing down perfectly timed beats, fantastic drumrolls, and mixes so intricate it would leave the guests with mouths agape. Tommy would become the star of the show, with women and fans flocking to talk with him. He will have made it. In one swift leap, Tommy will have blasted his way into an elite social circle, displayed his impressive talents, and garnered a fanbase for his future musical pursuits.

“HONNNNK!” Tommy was ripped from his cozy fantasy by the blast of truck’s horn as it passed by. With a smile on his face and a dream fresh in his mind’s eye, Tommy gathered the information from the flyer and pinned it back to the pole where he’d found it. The only thing to do now was to await his fantastical bound up the social ladder.

Fast-forward four days and we find Tommy a mere hour before his big event. He’s at his apartment loading his compact kit into the back of his truck. He’s spent the whole morning getting ready, assembling his swag, and making sure his kit, car, and self were ready to roll for the evening. He couldn’t afford any hang-ups, not tonight. Tommy knew in his fantasy that he arrived late to the party, just late enough to make that big impression, but he was too excited. He couldn’t wait to make his big debut. With another huge smile on his face, Tommy got behind the wheel of his truck, checked the review mirror to ensure his kit was safe in the back, and patted his hair to ensure his swagger was in full force. Time to rock.

“Click. Click. Cliiiiii.” The lights on his dashboard faint, the engine refusing to turn over, Tommy refused to believe what was happening. “Click. Cl. Cl.” Nothing. The battery in his truck was dead. With no anger, with nothing but pure defeat, Tommy laid his head down on his steering wheel as the fantasy he’d envisioned seemed to puff into smoke right before his eyes. He couldn’t let this be how his dream ended. No way! If he hopped on his bike, he could still make it, and maybe even a few minutes late like he’d hoped. In a jolt of excitement and renewed drive, Tommy jumped out of his truck, ran up the steps to his apartment, and grabbed the bicycle from just inside the door. He glanced at his watch as he descended the stairs back down to street level. 10 minutes until the party started and a 30-minute ride before him. Without wasting another second, Tommy hopped onto the two-wheeler and pedaled full speed down the sidewalk.

With 3 blocks to go, Tommy’s eyes widened. He slowly stopped pedaling. The bike coasted to a stop and Tommy put one foot down. He’d forgotten the drum kit. He re-enacted his dramatic display of child-like disappointment from inside his truck and laid his head down, defeated, atop his handlebars. He was now dripping sweat, 10 minutes late (which seemed right but in reality felt wrong), and didn’t even have his instrument. With absolute emotionlessness, Tommy pedaled up to the front of the house having the party. It was too late to turn back. The sight he was met with only added to the theme of the day. This was no mansion. This was barely even a house! The small townhouse was well-kept but way too small to hold a party – at least one with the crowd he envisioned. His spirits sank even further.

Tommy got off his bike and walked up to the fence’s gate at the front of the yard. He pushed his way into the yard with a detached numbness and let his bike fall onto the emerald green lawn to the side of the walk. He surveyed the front of the townhouse as he made his way to the front door. It was certainly nice and quaint, there was no denying that. Still, he didn’t think he’d be getting the same result from whatever gathering was going on behind this door. He wouldn’t be a Rockstar after leaving this party.

In a pathetic effort to clutch some thread of his fantasy, he didn’t knock when he made it to the front door. Tommy stood motionless and awaited the elite guests inside to sense his presence and come let him in. After 90 seconds he lowered his shoulders, let his droop, and knocked on the door. He raised his head, startled, when the door opened before he was even finished knocking. Inside the threshold was a vibrant woman, dressed in colorful attire and greeting him with a welcome smile. She was dressed well, but not to the standards he would have granted the ‘elite.’ The woman’s sheer joy to see Tommy, as well as her obvious friendliness was infectious. Tommy couldn’t help but smile as he met her eyes.

“I’m here for the musician’s party?” Tommy said, more in the form of a question than a statement. “I forgot my drum kit at home. My car wouldn’t start.” He was waiting for the woman to say he was at the wrong house and she had no idea what he was talking about.

“That’s okay, come inside! We’re glad you could make it!”

Tommy was astounded as he made his way inside the townhouse. It wasn’t crowded like in his fantasies, but the mood of the room was instant and very apparent. The décor was very warm and inviting and the smell reminded him of happier times. The small group of people already assembled were genuinely happy to see him and to have another guest for their party. The men stood up to shake his hand and the woman gave him heartfelt hugs. It made Tommy feel guilty and embarrassed to have hoped for such an extravagant and elitist party. His smile widened and his depression lifted as he made his way about the room and greeted the friendly guests. All around the perimeter of the room he could see guitars, trumpets, flutes, and even a few keyboards set atop their stands off in the corners. Again, the feeling of embarrassment and shame washed over him as he had looked down on these instruments and, unintentionally, these kinds of people in his fantasy. A sudden revelation hit him like a snowball to the face. He didn’t want to be slung into the top notch of society with the type that reside up there. He didn’t want to be idolized by strangers that could care less about him. These people welcomed him into their party and embraced him with no questions asked. Tommy had never had that in his life – this is what he’d been searching for. His cheeks flushed as he thought of this sudden understanding and worked to overcome his shame.

“Hey Tommy, let’s hear what you got man! Play us some beats!” One of the men on the far couch wore a wide grin and looked sincerely interested in hearing Tommy’s talents. It made Tommy feel warm and welcome to have someone be truly interested in his skills. He didn’t know how being in the spotlight with a ring of high-end partiers could ever compare to this.

“I forgot my drum kit at home. I would have loved to play for you guys though,” Tommy replied.

“You don’t need a kit to showcase your skills!” the man replied. He and the other men from the party, four in total, quickly went to the kitchen and a noisy mixture of sounds returned. Within 30 seconds the four men re-entered the room with pots, pans, plastic dishes, and a pair of thin, wooden spoons. Tommy couldn’t help but smile as he realized the notion being implied. He didn’t refuse. The pure joy and positive atmosphere had Tommy ready to do just about anything. He grabbed the dishware from the men and arranged the pieces on the table to most resemble his kit from home. Tommy pulled up a chair, clutched the spoons in his grasp, and began his art. The rhythm he played and the intensity in which he played it was vastly different than in his fantasy. This environment was relaxed, welcoming. It was real. He set to work playing smooth, methodical, and beautiful music. Once again Tommy closed his eyes and let his smile widen on his face. He was at peace. This was the true fantasy. This was what he’d been looking for.