Changing places

The seatbelt light turned off with a ding and buckles could be heard unfastening throughout the plane.  

“Welcome to Port of Spain”. The pilot said over the intercom.

Katie stepped outside hitting a thick wall of humid air.  At first she couldn’t understand this new sensation.  What was this hot, wetness making it hard to breath and thickening the air?  At 15, Katie had never been outside Eugene, Oregon let alone a tropical island like Trinidad.  But this was where her sister was from and the first time her sister would see her mom in 10 long years.  Mom and Dad had worked so hard for the last 8 years jumping through the hoops of immigration.  Filling out paperwork and taking multiple trips up to Portland, a two hour drive from home, to fulfill all the ridiculous requirements.  Finally, Sue was a US citizen and she could fly home.  Well, home was in two places now, but the home that she had dreamed about, the home that had haunted her and torn at her 8 year old heart, wetting her pillow with so many tears.  

Katie stayed close to Mom as they walked across the tarmac to customs and immigration.  Dad and Erik, her brother were the first to go through the line.  Then Mom brought her and Sue up.  Katie watched as Sue pulled out her shiny new passport, the US insignia embedded in gold across the dark blue cover.  The immigration agent barely glanced at it before loudly stamping the inside page indicating for the next passport with a bored expression.  It felt so anticlimactic. How could this agent not know the magnitude? How could he not look at it with surprise and awe?  Like there should have been some sort of award or something, maybe a high five, or good job! 

Feeling a little deflated for not receiving a large fanfare for their accomplishment, Katie handed over her own.  The immigration officer smiled at her, his cheek dimpling, “Welcome to Trinidad.” He said with a thick island accent stamping the inside of her passport.

“Thanks” Katie replied shyly as Mom hurried them away to the baggage claim.

The heat was stifling.  It was an open air baggage claim and offered no air conditioning.  Luckily they didn’t need to wait long for the luggage and soon pushed through the crowd to the outside.

“Sue! Sue! Susie!!!” yelled a tall, beautiful lady from the curbside next to a bright red van.  She was waving her arm and jumping up and down with excitement.  Sue dropped her bags and stretched her long legs into an all out sprint.  Sue was the fastest on her team in the 400 meter dash.  That’s why she had won a full ride to the University of Oregon in the fall for track and field.  Katie loved to watch Sue run.  Every time she sat in the bleachers to watch her sister race, she knew who would be running first across the finish line.  Sue had the impossibly long legs; made for running Katie thought with a smile.  She was so beautiful and strong.  She’d power around the corner and speed by anyone easily on the run away.  

But this run was maybe her fastest yet: straight into her older sister’s arms; Hazel.  It was hard to tell if they were laughing or crying.  Sue had always said that Hazel was her favorite sister.  Even though Hazel had been the one who had accidentally cut Sue’s eye with a machete knife while cutting a coconut.  That was why Sue’s mom sent her to the United States for treatment in the care of a white woman named Daisy. A woman who would mistreat her and allow her tourist visa to expire.  Katie felt angry just thinking about it.  Who would abandon an 8 year old for an entire summer to fend for herself? The only adult supervision being a roommate who worked full time and was never there?  But that was how Katie got the best sister in the world.  The sister she had dreamed about and asked for.  Maybe not in the way she had thought, but Sue was everything she had wanted.  

Even though she knew Sue had 12 sisters and brothers, it was very strange to see her with her biological sister.  Katie didn’t recognize the feeling at first, but as it snaked through her heart it dawned on her: she was jealous.  She wasn’t Sue’s only sister anymore.  Katie quickly looked away to hide her new feelings as Sue turned around, a huge smile widening her cheeks to splitting as she introduced Hazel to Mom, Dad and Erik.  Katie remembered limply shaking Hazel’s hand and mumbling something, nodding her head and then jumping in the van with her parents.  

Once everyone had showered and changed, it was time to explore the city and finally to meet Sue’s mom.  Katie felt self conscious in her tank top and shorts.  She was just starting to lengthen out and lose the roundness of baby fat she had carried for far too long.   

“God, I just showered and I already feel covered in sweat!” Dad grumbled.  Katie agreed, she was already covered in a sheen of sweat despite showering two minutes ago and felt the new outfit clinging to her uncomfortably.  She sighed in relief as she stepped into the air conditioning of the red van giving her a moment to dry out.  

“First we go for doubles! Then we’ll go see mommy.” Hazel announced to the van.

Sue’s eyes lit up at the idea of doubles, but she seemed a bit nervous. Katie wondered how she would feel if she hadn’t seen her mom in 10 years.  How would she react if she had been sent away to another country at 8 years old, then been raised by another family and come back as practically an adult?  She just couldn’t fathom it.  

There were crowds of people downtown walking the streets, selling merchandise, playing music and going about their business.  Hazel and Sue took the lead crossing the street. There were so many colors and so much noise. So much was going on, Katie had to take a moment to stand quietly to take it all in.  She felt a little overwhelmed and lost track of everyone.  She felt so strange and out of place.  Everyone seemed to be looking at her.  She’d never felt so exposed before.  It was like being completely naked in public!

Katie turned to look for Sue, but couldn’t find her.  She gasped and frantically looked around. Sue had melted into the crowd in seconds.  Growing up in Oregon where the population was mostly white, Katie had never had any trouble spotting her sister in a crowd.  This was the first time in her entire life that she had lost her sister.  Where had she gone?  Katie tried quickly to remember what she was wearing, constructing a mental picture of Sue’s clothes. As she changed her criteria, she finally landed on Sue now standing in line at a food cart.  It was in that moment that Katie realized how uncomfortable it must have been for her sister all those years.  This feeling of vulnerability, of not being able to hide or blend in, of standing out and being noticed even if you didn’t want to be.  She looked at her sister with new eyes that day.  She had never experienced being the only white girl on the street.