The Grocery Clerk

I have arrived at work for another day of being a cashier. There are certain aspects of my job I truly enjoy but then again here comes Mrs. Highsmith to my checkout stand. She always lets her kids open the chips eat them and hide the bag before paying. Today I am going to tell her its company policy to pay for all goods before consumption.

Hi Mrs. Highsmith. Hello Sandra. Steph sit down. Roger leave your sister alone. Margie get out from under the basket immediately. Did you hear me Margie? Don't make me call your name again. Mrs. Highsmith your kids have... Yes, Sandra. Stop it Steph. You are going to fall out of the basket. I already told you once. Aaaahhh said Mrs. Highsmith in desperation. You were saying Sandra? Oh, oh nothing Mrs. Highsmith. Do you want paper or plastic? Neither Sandra. I brought my own bags. Okay, Mrs. Highsmith. Enjoy your day.

Oh, no! Here comes Mr. Long. He is well known around town. He is a retired school music teacher whose school had one of the best marching bands in town. His school band won many competitions in their heyday. He always brings a bag of change to pay for his groceries. Today I will tell him to please use another form of payment.

Glad to see you Sandra. Mighty strange weather we've been having. I know. "It is suppose to warm up later in the week," said Sandra. You know Sandra I can't wait to show you some of my new pennies from 1965 and 1955. I just pulled them out of my collection this morning and cleaned them up. Well, you know Mr. Long it would be easier if, if...

If what Sandra?

Well, I can'[t wait to see those pennies.

Sandra looks up and spots Mrs. Harris. She loves to tell long monologues about what happened when she was young. I'll just move her groceries fast and tell her I have to go to break.

Hi Mrs. Harris.

Hello, Sandra. It is so good to see you. You look like you're losing weight Sandra. You know in 1985 I had my own catering service. I ran it for nine years. I accidentally slipped on some flour one day, broke my hip in two places and I was out of commission for three months. After rehab I decided I would hang up my apron and find a job that required more sit time. Sandra you know what I decided to become a seamstress! You keep looking at your watch Sandra. Do you need to go somewhere? Oh yes, no, no. It's a new watch. I'm just excited about it. Very nice, Sandra. Very nice. Oh, I see your line is getting quite long. I guess I'll see you next week. Remind me to tell you about my seamstress work. "I can't wait Mrs. Long", Sandra answered dryly.

Suddenly a loud gum popping sound can be heard from across the store. It is getting louder and louder as the customer approaches. It is none other than my classmate from high school, Tameka. She always stands in line popping, smacking and blowing bubbles before choosing three new flavors of gum for the week. She has to pick up almost every brand shuffle them around and leave it in a mess for me to have to straighten up later. Today I will tell her to please straighten the gum packages and put them in the same place they were in before.

Pop, pop, smack, smack, smack....pop. Hi Sandra

Can I help you find something Tameka? No, Sandra. You all have the same old brands that you had last week. Smack, pop. I might have to start going to another store.

Oh, another store probably would have a wider selection for your taste Tameka. I don't know Sandra. This is the third store I've been to today and I haven't found a very good selection at any of them. Pop, pop, pop....smack. I guess I'll go with these three packages.

Tameka do you think you could....

Pop. What!

Oh just......

Pop, pop what Sandra?

Never mind. That will be three fifty.

Suddenly Sandra spots Mrs. Smith. She always forgets at least three items and wants someone to go and find them for her. Does she ever make a list? Does she realize that by holding up the line I have a bunch of angry customers behind her ready to bite my head off when its finally their turn. Please don't pick my line today Mrs. Smith. Why me? WHY ME? Here she comes. I am going to tell her I am short on helpers today.

Sandra I am so glad to see you. I have been all over this store looking for chicken bouillons. I went down aisle three twice. I went down aisle four three times. No luck. No luck at all. You know Sandra this store seems to be getting bigger and bigger every time I come. They also keep moving stuff around. I think I need to put in a complaint to your corporate office to leave stuff where I can find it or hand out maps. My feet are tired by the time I do all this walking in this store and today I have on heels. Can you imagine how my corns on my feet are aching Sandra? Anyway, Sandra, can you please have someone find the chicken bouillons for me and I just remembered I need napkins and toilet paper. I am down to two rolls. Two rolls does not go far in my house.

Mrs. Smith we are very, very.....

Sandra, I am so pressed for time. Please call someone for me. I have to get home and get out of these shoes. You will hear my feet hollering any minute now.

Will do Mrs. Smith. I will get someone right on it.

Thank you so much dear.

My manager approaches and says heavenly words to me. Sandra you are on break in ten minutes.