The Traveler's Guide to Resurrection

Coming back to life is an ordeal. This is what the spellbooks say, and they are correct. There is something deeply unsettling about coming into consciousness while your body is still trying to reassemble itself. This is The Traveler’s Guide to Resurrection. 

The pieces of your skull pull themselves together first, knitting the broken bits back into a cohesive dome. Next, your brain fills in the empty space, making way for your eyes and ears to return to their orifices. This is about the time you’ll realize, with horror, that you are nothing more than a head (assuming it has been detached from your body). But never fear, your skeleton will return.

If you died in the forest like I did, there’s a good chance the wolves, ravens, and whatever other creatures happened upon your body scattered your remains far and wide. Your skull might be beneath a tree, but your femur might be leaned up against a log and your finger bones mixed in with some rocks. It takes a moment for all the bones to come back to life and wiggle their way over to your head so that everything may be reattached. You’ll notice that your bones have either been bleached white by the sun or stained green with moss, depending on where they’ve lingered since you died. But don’t worry, part of the resurrection process involves evicting the fungi and other hungry plants that have been feasting on your marrow.

Once your skeleton is back together, the squishy bits will begin to unfurl themselves. Warm muscles stretch out across cold bones, reattaching and pulling themselves taught like a string set upon the limbs of a bow. Your nerves begin to return at this time too. A note of forewarning– it will hurt. I said that coming back to life was an ordeal, did I not? But do not worry, this pain is temporary. Soon, your body will be returned to wholeness as if death had never occurred.

Try not to panic as you watch your bones and muscles recover themselves, especially when the experience oscillates between a gentle tingling and sharp stabs of pain. The human mind is not meant to handle such an absurd occurrence. You may feel like you are stuck in a dream, or perhaps a nightmare. But let me assure you, this is all very real. Eventually your brain will catch up with your body and realize you are among the living once again. Give yourself time to adjust. No one walks away from this situation without a little trauma.

As your organs fill in the empty spaces within your torso, expect to be met with all of the sensations they ordinarily issue when everything is in working order. They need to perform a few checks to make sure they are where they should be. It is normal to feel pangs of hunger like you’ve never felt before. (Your stomach has been without nourishment the entire time you’ve been dead, after all.) You’ll feel your heart pounding as it remembers the correct rhythm. As your blood dilates your veins and arteries, you’ll begin to feel warm again. Most distressing will be whatever you cough up from your lungs. Depending on how you died and where your body’s been, be prepared to expel graveyard dirt, seawater, leaves, or small pebbles.

The last thing to come back will be your skin and hair. The good news is that resurrection gives you a complete do-over on your skin. Any scars, moles, wrinkles, or imperfections have been scrubbed away and replaced by something fresh and clean. In this way, you may look younger than you did when you died. Aside from the obvious benefit of being alive again, there are some perks for surviving the ordeal of coming back from the dead. Your hair, however, will be in desperate need of a good combing. A thorough bath is recommended for all newly-returned-to-life travelers.

Once your body is fully reassembled, your spinal cord will reconnect to your brain and you will be given motor function once again. Be careful when moving your limbs for the first time as they will need some time to wake up. You may feel weak or unsteady at first, but this will fade as time goes on. If you had a support person or assistant during your resurrection, now would be a great time to literally and metaphorically lean on them. If you endured your resurrection in solitude, just take it slow. It should take no more than an hour to have full control over your arms and legs again.

Congratulations, traveler! You have been successfully resurrected. While the unsettling parts of the process are now complete, you have a few tasks to attend to. The first would be finding some clothes, then something to eat, followed by personal hygiene. You’ll come back naked, so getting dressed should be your top priority. Next, your stomach will not leave you alone until you have satiated it. It takes a lot of energy to reconstitute a body, after all. It is recommended to eat something hot post-resurrection as this will feel most soothing to a newly warm-again body, however whatever you can find is acceptable. After your meal, you’ll need to make sure any debris left over from your body’s final resting place is removed and your hair returned to order. You may look a little haggard after your resurrection, but this is a normal part of the process.

A word of caution as you move forward in your second attempt at life– you have bucked fate in a way that has altered the course of the cosmos. Your golden thread had been cut and you told the gods “No” and tied it back together. Your thread is whole again, but it bears a knot. A knotted thread will catch, pull, and snag on the threads of those you come in contact with. You are alive again, yes, but your life will not be the same. Everyone’s reaction to you will be different, but be prepared for your relationships to be permanently changed. Modulate your expectations accordingly.

Thank you for reading this edition of The Traveler’s Guide to Resurrection. Best wishes for your journeys ahead and good luck evading fate until we meet again.