Eerie

The cool breeze made her hair flutter like the flapping wings of a bird, this is what she enjoyed most about coming to the park, sitting there on the bench and admiring the beauty of nature around her, filled her with awe that she found difficult to describe in words.

As she was lost in her thoughts, she noticed a dark red object lying beside the bench, as she bent down to pick it up, she realized it was a small notebook, perhaps a diary?

She looked around but saw no one searching for something, so she checked the diary for name or some information related to the owner but found no name, only the words, 'Hate Diary' were written on the first page in jagged letters.

She was taken aback by the words, and on flipping the book she noticed the same jagged uneven handwriting all over the book, it was like the writer had poured all their emotions into the book!

After a lot of thought she decided to take the diary home, she thought if she left it lying around like that, it may get destroyed and the owner would never find it, and perhaps there was a clue to finding the owner somewhere in the diary, she knew she was just finding excuses for her curiosity.

As she began to read the diary, she noticed the name 'Julia' mentioned again and again, but from what she read she knew Julia wasn't the owner of the diary, she was the best friend of the diary's owner and the person they hated the most.

It was a really personal diary, was it ok to read it?, these thoughts raced in her mind as she failed to find any justifications for reading the diary further, it was unlikely that it would yield any clue to the owner and even if she found a clue and returned it to the owner, how was she going to justify reading something so personal?

She decided to put the diary away and think of some other way of reuniting the diary with it's owner, maybe she could go back to the same bench and wait for the owner to show up, they must be worried too to loose something so personal.

That night she couldn't sleep, the diary kept bothering her and the desire to read it bothered her more, it was like she had left an interesting novel midway, the more she tried to not think about the diary, the more her mind didn't let her forget it!

The next day she waited for the owner to show up but no one came, she didn't give up though and tried waiting another day but no one showed up, she was caught between her conscience and curiosity and she let curiosity win, she didn't care about if it was right anymore, she was tired of waiting and just wanted to read the diary!

"Today Julia showed up at the party in the same dress she helped me pick for the party, she had styled her hair the same way as me too!, I was left so embarrassed, I know her game now, she wants to show that I imitate her out of my inferiority complex and I was so naive to fall right into her trap!"

She felt an eerie sense of familiarity with her own experience with her bestfriend Maria, she did the same with her at a party and she felt she could share the feeling of humiliation with the writer.

"I tried to distance myself from her, I regret the moment I decided to befriend her, today she seemed to apologize to me and that it was just a coincidence but I wanted to tell her Julia I know all your tricks now!, but I don't know what came over me and I forgave her."

She felt a sense of sadness filling her up, it wasn't easy to end a friendship, she knew that well and she felt she could relate to the writer more as she kept reading every page, strangely there was no date or day on any of the pages, it was as if the writer only wanted to vent their emotions out rather than keep a track of her emotions or interactions with Julia.

"She never appreciates whatever I do for her!, she always wants more and I give into her demands like a fool that I am, she keeps suspecting me and accuses me of betraying her and I even introduced her to my roommate and circle of friends to calm her fears but I didn't know at that time what a big mistake I had ended up making!"

She wanted to sit down with the writer and tell her that she wasn't a fool and even if she was a fool, she wasn't the only one out there!, she recalled she had done the same when Maria felt she was betraying her and it had only ended up in her being isolated from others.

"I hate it! Just hate it! I can't take it anymore!

If this is hell, I just want to be done with it!

Julia went and convinced everyone that I am an attention seeking and jealous girl and everyone hates me now!, It's like no one was my friend in the first place!, Do I blame Julia for this situation or myself?"

She didn't realize she was crying until tears made it difficult to read another page, she put the diary aside, she felt she couldn't bear to read another page, everything was so similar to how Maria behaved with her, the only difference was that the writer's bestfriends name was Julia and her's was Maria.

The next day she went to work with puffed up eyes, it was evident from her face that she had cried the whole night but she knew no one cared, the only one who would pretend to care was Maria, and she knew Maria felt a sadistic joy to see her like that.

She didn't feel like reading the diary but despite the saddness and despair it had brought her yesterday, she felt she couldn't stay another moment without reading another page!

"What joy does Julia get in isolating me?, I could see a sadistic smile on her face when she thought I wasn't noticing her and was too busy crying, I resisted the urge to smack her in the face today as she pretended to sympathise with me!, I really can't take it anymore!, I wish I could get rid of this parasite from my life!"

Parasite?, yes that's what Maria was to her!, a dirty, filthy parasite that sucked all the joy from her life!, if she couldn't get rid of someone who hurt her, no matter how hard she tried, it meant that person was a parasite!

"How do you get rid of parasites?, Do you have to die to get rid of them?, Do they leave you only when you are dead?, Do they want you dead?, but how could they nourish themselves if the host was dead?, maybe they go and find another host?, maybe that's what Julia would do if I died?, yeah she would definitely find another host to feed her sadistic tendencies!"

She had started to worry about the writer, she didn't know who it was but she felt connected to her, a strange sort of connection that she found difficult to put in words but a connection that made her realize how much she hated Maria, and how her traumas made her empathise with people who went through similar things.

Her anxiety prevented her from turning the page, the sinking feeling in her stomach kept her from reading the rest of it, maybe it worried her more because only the last page was left, and she knew it contained something she didn't want to read.

After spending a week of sleepless nights, she knew she couldn't go on like this, she had to read the last page or her anxiety would eat her up, she felt it would have been easier if it was a dreaded ending of a novel, because she could at least assure herself that it wasn't real but this was all too real!

Her hands shook as she flipped the pages, what if the writer had done something to themselves?, what if the writer was no longer alive and she had no one to return the diary too?, she tried to put all those thoughts away and read the last page even though she could feel the same sinking feeling in her stomach again.

"I have finally decided it!, I am going to be free finally!, I thought long about it and I don't regret my decision at all!, whether this was the right thing to do doesn't bother me at all, I just knew this had to be done!, I am going to poison Julia, she is going to die today!, I wonder what she will be thinking on her last day!, maybe she will regret what she did to me in her dying moments?, or maybe not!, but I don't care about these things anymore, I have made all arrangements to not get caught, and this diary is the only evidence of my hatred towards Julia, so I am abandoning it!"

Her eyes widened in shock as she read through the last page, how could someone kill another person and feel joy at it?, she felt a wave of disbelief gripping over her as she threw the diary towards the wall, it lay there in the corner and she didn't feel the need to pick it up or see it again.

As she calmed down, she thought maybe what the writer had poisoned was not a person but a parasite, a parasite with a name of a person, and that was the only way to get rid of the parasite, to kill it!

She thought it strange that how eerily similar someone else's experiences can be and in their struggles you could see a reflection of yourself, so much so that you decide to do the same thing that they did to get out of the situation, without caring for what is right.