Ave Caesar.

Huge mountain on two massive pillars instead of legs pushed me and others into the narrow corridor and after passing several small rooms into a big empty space that was filled with unbelievable scent of sweat and almost tangible fear left here by people who were here before. I could hear their steps still sounding in the stony corridor on the other side of this room, behind another closed gate. 

‘Get ready,’ he said after making sure we all entered the room and smashed loudly the iron gate making sure we all understood the message: there is no going back.

I look around me. There was about twenty of us. All males. There were few big men with scars and toned muscles underneath tanned skin who felt here like home, but others were small and looked scarred to death when they scanned the dark room. I walked cautiously towards a bench, trying to avoid bumping into any of them and finally I dropped heavily onto cold stone. Shiver ran through my body, when my warm back touched the cold wall.  

I need to rest, was my last thought before I closed my eyes and drifted to my memories.

The sound of all those men near me faded away as I watch the scene from the life I barely remember now. It wasn’t so long ago, yet it seems like centuries have passed by, when I cast last look on my wife’s face. Aristophene stood there with the kids Nikolaos and Akmene, when I was taken away by Roman legionaries. I remember her clothes dancing on the warm Greek wind, her long dark mahogany hair floating on the breeze. Her skin so bright despite the scorching summer sun on Peloponnesus. She was tough. She was as hard as the rocks in the mountains that surrounded and defended our polis for ages.

I turned my head to the left and with my closed eyes I saw the horizon torn by the bright peaks of the rocky mountains, so lit up by the sunset rays that they seem to be on fire. Warm summer breeze put a smile on my face, as I look around hoping to take it all with me…

 ‘Σε αγαπώ’ Aristophene calls me, sending me a kiss with her hand, just when I have been abruptly brought back to my cold bench and a stench of blood-soaked sand. 

‘You Greek?’

I opened my eyes and nodded without uttering any word. I do not want to have any friends here. Crossed my mind, when I was looking at muscular tanned man standing over me.

 ‘I am Pedro from Valencia in Hispania,’ said in low bass voice this incredibly tall man with a thunder of hair and decided to sit next to me.

I really don’t like to talk to anyone. I am not in the mood now. I thought and I closed my eyes again hoping he would go. I want to be left alone for this time that is left for me, but that man didn’t give up.

‘Look at this one over there,’ he says expecting me to open my eyes. ‘Come on, brother. Don’t get sulky. We will make it through the day, will we not?’

After few more comments, I eventually looked at my neighbor. Even when he was sitting, he was still taller than me. His squared jaw, wide chest together with biceps and abdominus muscles made him a machine created for this entertainment.

Suddenly arena above us roared to life with screams of agony and shouts of joy.

‘Another one is gone…’ commented my acquaintance. ‘I wonder how many is left, before we will go.’ He waited for an answer, but I was not going to give him one. I want to be alone; I want to spend this time with my wife and kids. They are so far away. Safe. This is the only thing that matters. I know I deserve being here. They deserve to be safe.

‘Why are you here?’ Pedro’s low voice came like a knife cutting the blissful picture of Nikolaos with his first wooden sword advancing on me. The bright Spartan plateau, white buildings where we trained our young boys to be soldiers from the times before Rome had come suddenly changed into this cave filled with frightening and frighten men. For the first time I looked around to see what they were doing. Some of them were wondering aimlessly, like tigers in cage, some others were doing some exercises to warm up their muscles and get ready, but there were a few that were standing in the corner petrified to the bones just by the sheer look of some of their companions in this place. 

‘I am here,’ I started slowly, ‘to please the Romus populi.’ I finished with a sad smile on my face.

‘Are you a barbarian? Prisoner? Thief? Or a slave who did not listen to master’s orders?’ Pedro asked me, pointing with his head at some other people, like he knew exactly whom they were before they entered this cursed life. I followed his gesture and looked at the first one for a longer time. He had strange tattoos covering almost the entire body and there was an animal hidden just beneath his eyes. I could almost feel the fearsome power waiting to be unleashed.

‘Do you know them?’ I asked, turning my sight to the prisoner he pointed.

‘Some.’

‘How?’

‘It is not the first time I go onto the arena. I saw those two already yesterday. The one on the left barely made it through the day, was given mercy call and thumbs up. The barbarian ripped apart his three opponents without even breaking a sweat. Avoid him, if you can.’ Pedro looked at me and smiled. ‘So, who are you and what are you doing here?’

‘I am Christian. I deserted from my legion and hid in my village. They found me and here I am.’

‘Christian?’ He asked himself as if he tried to remember something. ‘Aren’t they the ones who refuse to fight?’ He asked after a moment.

‘Yes.’ I nodded. ‘We do not fight. Our Master did not fight. Our Teachers say to love and care for one another. We should offer another cheek, if someone abused us or offended. No fighting back. That is why I ran away from my legion. I could not do it anymore.’

‘How did you survive here?’

‘It is my first time on the arena.’

‘You will die there. You know it?’ He asked, but in his voice, I could hear it was not a question, more of a statement. Like he was worried that I did not know. I know perfectly well. If I don’t take gladius, I have got less than a quarter of life left.

Another loud cheer came from above. Crowd was having a good time, while here in this preparation room, we were dreading seeing the sunlight as it meant, our time is gone.

I looked at my hands. Clenched them into fist few times and let the air go loud from my lungs.

I know my body. I know what it is capable of but: am I ready? Am I ready to die today? Jesus would not fight, would he? No, he would go there and tell them to love each other. Would anybody listen to him? In this crazy word, where people want more blood, more money and pleasures, would anybody listen to him? I asked myself, staring blindly into the floor.

‘Here comes the guard,’ I heard Pedro’s voice and I looked up.

Another massive muscular mountain of a man opened the gate:

‘Your turn. Prepare yourselves!’ He shouted and ushered the first two poor shaking man through the door to the stack of spears, swords, nets, shields and axes. ‘Grab your weapon and go up the stairs!’ First men are too scared to move and few massive gladiators plowed through the group, which humbly steps aside with eyes glued to the floor, like they are even afraid to look at those killing machines.

They will not survive first five seconds there. Went through my head as I saw my friend getting up and walking towards the gate. He turned and called me:

‘If you want to have a chance of survival, gear up!’ Then he walked away, probably already forgotten about me. I observed him from a distance and saw how he took the shield, helmet and an axe. Most of the men have left the room already, majority have got their weapon of choice and are shaking it to feel its weight and fit. I could not delay it any longer, so I finally got up and slowly walked towards the barred gate. As I pass the shaken group, I can hear them praying, I could swear, I heard name Jesus, uttered quietly by the old man with a white beard.

I looked at them and I passed.

The guard closed the gate behind the last person and called us:

‘You are here only for one purpose only. To please the Caesar and the people of Rome. Nothing else matters now. If you do it, you might see the sun tomorrow. Get your armor and head up the stairs to the main gate to Circus Maximus.’ We start moving and he shouts behind our backs: ‘Ave Caesar!’

The fierce battle is still raging inside my head.

Should I fight? I should not. I am Christian. I should not fight!

And then, to my surprise, just as I was passing the weapons hanging on the walls and scattered on the floor, picture of my wife with Nikolaos and Akmene in our house back in Sparta came to me with overwhelming desire to see them again.

I love you; I want to see you. No matter what.

I WILL SEE YOU.

I realized that I suddenly stopped. I looked around grabbing the nearest gladius and a shield from the floor. The sword felt so good, like it never left my hand. At this moment I knew. No matter what will happen, I will go back to Sparta to see my wife and kids.

My name is Leonidas, like my great ancestor, this time I WILL SURVIVE. I told myself clenching my hand on the sword, stepping on the warm sand of the Circus Maximus. Thousands of people shouting at our sight…

Λ