Wishing Upon a Shooting Star

Rejection always burns, stinging your pride, and reassuring your insecurities. I remember clearly that feeling in high school when my crush of three years rejected me on Valentine’s Day my senior year. I had never imagined how that embarrassment would feel being told someone wasn’t interested in you the same way. I just wanted to go home and cry into my pillow, wallow in my own heartache for a guy that I placed too high on a pedestal of what I thought I wanted. The cool guy, the popular guy who caught the attention of all the girls we hung out with. I felt like a fool for spending three years chasing after him assuming he would eventually feel the same way I did. I was wrong. It was my first heart break, the gun-wrenching pain that the charade of what I thought love was, was now over.

My best friend only wanted to cheer me up, demanding I wipe my tears, blow my nose, and go with her to a movie. Titanic was playing at the movie theater again and she thought it would be the perfect date night, just us friends. It seemed like a better alternative than sitting home feeling sorry for myself all night. She was right. We drove to the next town over, not wanting to run into the jerk that broke my heart. We had seen the movie when it first came to theaters but we still cried the same as if seeing it for the first time. It was a perfect moment that we shared, a real best friend memory that has always stuck in my mind.

After the movie, we decided to go to the bowling alley where some of our friends were hanging out, those who didn’t have dates for Valentine’s Day either. I admitted I was terrible at bowling and didn’t really want to play but I sat and watched. My friend was good at bowling, had hung out there several times with these guys, three of her friends that I wasn’t real close with. I still felt the rejection while I sat there; watching them have fun while I knew my crush was out there with someone else. I had so many negative things running through my mind, that I wasn’t pretty enough or popular enough, thinking I was the problem. Being that young and naïve, I really had no idea what love was.

As the night went on, I loosened up and felt more comfortable around the guys. The goofy one with auburn hair and braces had been especially nice to me all evening, recently having been dumped by his girlfriend. We compared heart breaks and it was comforting. At least I wasn’t the only one I knew that was heartbroken on Valentine’s Day. Is there a saying that misery loves company? Something like that. Ryan was not the kind of guy I would normally find attractive, too nerdy for me. I preferred the tall, dark, and handsome type, like my crush who broke my heart. But here was this red-headed band geek that for some reason was interested in me. When he told me that he had a crush on me all school year, I blushed, the perfect shade of pink of my cheeks. I guess it was fitting for that day.

It was getting late and we left the bowling alley, the guys hopped in their car and followed us to my friend’s house. I was beyond giddy telling her about the conversation I had with Ryan, forgetting all about my crush. She smiled, but wasn’t surprised. I always wondered if she had secretively played Cupid that night introducing me to him. Being a typical winter in Wisconsin, there was about two feet of snow already covering the ground and big, fluffy snowflakes had begun falling. It was a clear night and the stars were bright as we all stood in the driveway talking about the fun we had, a Valentine’s Day we’d always remember. There were no flowers, cards, chocolates, or gifts given, no expectations.  Just us friends spending time together.

When the guys said they were going to leave and head home, I was a little disappointed. It had taken me all night to finally open up and enjoy myself. I didn’t want the night to end. As we all said good night to each other, Ryan pulled me aside and told me he liked me. My stomach swirled with butterflies, anticipation growing inside me as I stood with the snow falling over us. Ours eyes met and we both smiled. He must have been nervous because the next thing I knew, he nudged my shoulder knocking me off my balance. I fell backwards and grabbed him thick, winter jacket pulling him on top of me. Lying in the snow together, we laughed. The light-heartedness of it took away the nervousness we were both feeling.

I had never thought of Ryan in a way that would make my heart flutter, but I had begun to see him differently as we lay in the snow together. I looked up at the sky, the stars shining bright. Ryan looked up too, the moment a shooting star shot across the star-scattered sky. When my eyes met his gaze again, he was smiling. I asked him what he was smiling about and he said it was me. My heart melted. Could a broken heart be healed that quickly? The shooting star was the beginning of the perfect moment, ending with Ryan’s lips meeting mine, awkward at first since I had never kissed anyone with braces before. I closed my eyes and embraced our first kiss, the kiss that changed everything.

That seems like a lifetime ago, but twenty-two years later we just shared another Valentine’s Day together. When a broken heart in high school led to an unexpected kiss with someone new, two hearts changed forever. Whether it was Cupid leading us together that night, a strange twist of fate, doesn’t matter. We found each other and after all these years, Valentine’s Day is still the most important day of the year for us, reminding us of the day that began our happily ever after.