My 30th Surprise Birthday Party

It’s not easy being a rich entrepreneur single Bachelor in Wisconsin of all places. There are only 9 billionaires who dwell here. I’m not even close to being one of them. But I’m in the high 8 figures according to Forbes 400 Magazine.

In 2020, the female population in Wisconsin is 3 million women persons. Not to mention the 23^rd rank state in America with 121,881 LGBT citizens gayly living and thriving throughout the state of Wisconsin.

After graduating from Northwestern University and the Kellogg School of Management at the top of my class, along with a BA in Sociology and  the Certificate Program for Undergraduates, an elite, four-course academic program.

I took out a small businessmen loan and formed my own Insurance/Real Estate firm. Everyone close to me believed that my idea to combine both businesses into one was utterly preposterous and doomed for failure.

When you sit back and think about it, they do go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other in your adult life. By me owning the two I could save customers more money than they could ever have imagine.

My business got to booming so well that within 3 years I had employed over 500 highly skilled people. I was nominated for The Wisconsin Innovation Awards (WIA) who seek to celebrate and inspire innovation. The WIA highlights and honors the development of groundbreaking and innovative ideas. If your innovation is a transformational idea they want to celebrate it. They hope to encourage an even greater environment of innovation by bringing innovators together from various business sectors and from throughout the state.

I was only 28 years old at the time. I wasn’t thinking about getting myself involved in a meaningful relationship at that time because I had met someone who broke my heart.

My 30^th birthday would be in a few days and my older sister insisted that it was time for me to settle down. My mother yearned for another grandchild. My father just wanted to keep the linage of Huckleberry the 3^rd, me being Jerry Garfield Huckleberry the 2^nd.

My sister along with all of my family members and two best friends decided to throw me a surprised birthday party.

Now I don’t liken my true love story to be compared to a Cinderella fairy tale, but once you finish reading my side of how we met you’ll see a lot of similarities. No I never considered myself no Prince Charming. Heck, I knew long ago that when I kissed a fair maiden she just might turn into a orangutan or Billy Goat.

Hey while your mind is spinning from that asinine thought, remember this is my true love story.

I pretended that I was unaware of the extravagant and lavish party they were planning for me. When you’ve invited over 300 of the most attractive women in Wisconsin one of them is going to accidently on purpose spill the beans. In my case I was surprisingly told by 19 bachelorettes. I was asked such ridiculous questions from what colors will I be donning to the gala affair, to what kinds of plans do I have going on after my fabulous swaray. I responded I’ll be wearing an outfit designed by Elton John’s tailor, to there will possibly be a horse and buggy carriage parked in the back of  the Ritz Hotel ballroom kitchen door waiting on the lucky woman who would eventually steal my heart forever. I wanted to say steal what’s in my wallet and bank account instead, I just played along with their serious shenanigans.

The day of the surprise party I went shopping for an expensive pair of socks. The one trademark I was famous for wearing on a daily basis. I found a pair of Neiman Marcus cashmere-blend ribbed socks ($55 one pair). When I got near the checkout counter there stood the loveliest woman I had ever laid my extremely rich eyes upon.

I never realized how shy I was until that day. In most of my encounters with damsels in distress it was them who dropped a hanky or were having trouble opening up an umbrella. I did what any ordinary shy millionaire would do. I called my chauffeur and had him meet me on the 7^th floor of the men’s department. He was almost there before I hung up. Especially, when he knew he would be receiving a large bonus on his next paycheck for a job well done. This was not the first time I’ve asked him to play Cyrano de Bergerac for me. I handed him the socks along with 2 $100 dollars bills, a $1,000 dollar credit card that I would on occasions hand over to some unsuspecting homeless person down and out on their luck and pleading with him to follow my complicated instructions to the “T”.  I also told him to keep the change.

I hid behind a rack of expensive Armani Suits as he did my request. I had instructed him to tell her that she was  personally being invited to attend my 30^th surprise birthday party and for her to purchase a dress that would make all the women who attend my party envious. I seen her chuckle as he handed her the credit card. I knew she had acquired good taste from what she was wearing. I slipped out of the department unnoticed and waited for Luther to return to the Limo. All I asked him was how did it go? He gave me a big smile and two thumbs up.

When he opened the door for me he said that there something I should know. I told him I just didn’t want to know at this time. Hoping and praying that she wasn’t married with children or involved in a long term meaningful relationship again.

When we returned to my 40 acre estate. Luther tried pleading with me that there was something else about Alisa Fairchild I should know. I hushed him and told him to take the rest of the day off.

I was on pins and needles as they say right up to the time my two best friends came to pick me up to attend someone else’s surprise birthday party. I met Jacob Stevens about 6 years ago at a fund raiser. We were so much alike that it was inevitable we would become friends; I met Sheila Hightower in college and we both soon came to realize that we were better off as being friends forever. We drank sissy pink champagne all the way to the Ritz Hotel. When we got there they both said they had to make phone calls and for me to enter the ball room on my own. I had a good mind to enter from the rear entrance, in which I did.

When I came through I shouted behind everyone’s back, “surprise”!

My sister looked as if the grinch stole Christmas right up from under her rosy furious cheeks. I apologized whole heartedly as we hugged.

About an hour into the now no 30^th surprise birthday party she walked in. All heads turned to look at her as she looked as if she just stepped off of the cover of Glamour Magazine, minus the glass slippers.

You see, we had met about 3 years ago and she was going through a bad break up at the time and needed space. I was also involved with someone as well at that time too. We had dinner twice and made love once before departing company.

The first thing that she said to me after kissing me in the lips was, did Luther tell you what I told him to tell you in strict confidentiality? I said I wouldn’t allow him to tell me because I didn’t want to spoil the joyous moment of ever seeing you again. She took my hand in her delicate hand and sat me down. She said that we have a 2 and a half year old son. Happy 30^th birthday!