Your Secret, An Open Grave

TW: (Mentioned) Death of a parent

“Breaking news: We’ve received reports that the planet Philo has been completely destroyed. Reports of bombing had been rampant for the past few weeks, but it has reached a peak. The planet’s destroyed. There is nothing left… Philo has been eradicated."

My body was numb. Mother. Mother always wanted to go to Philo for vacation, to travel between the perpetually light and dark sides of the planet. Now the planet’s gone, and Mother along with it. Elias’s head rested on my shoulder, his tears soaking my shirt. His howling sobs tangled with the horrified words of the newscaster. I couldn’t focus on them. All I saw was Father. He stared at the screen, no tears in his eyes. Just a blank, vacant stare.

Six Months Later

Father’s lost so much weight. Every feature stood out starkly in his gaunt face. He almost disappeared into the sheets of the hospital blanket. Elias and I held onto his wizened hands as a heartbeat monitor beeped ominously next to us.

“You don’t want treatment?” I asked, “You still have a chance to survive.”

“I’m not spending months pulling out hair, not being able to eat, and looking more like death.” Father said, “Besides, I’ll be with your Mother again, that’s a true blessing.” Elias sniffed, his hand trembling in Father’s.

“But… We’re not ready for you to go…”

“And I don’t know how to run a household.” I said frantically, “There’s so much I haven’t been taught-”

“You'll both be alright,” Father croaked, “Elias, just keep training and the police academy is yours. And Jasper, you have everything you need to succeed. Reynolds will help with your education, running the house, all you have to do is learn.” His grip tightened on our hands, “Your Mother would be so proud. She always dreamed of you two all grown up…” Father’s words stalled. A tear fell down his face, “I’m so sorry she never got to see you…” Tears brimmed in my eyes as I bowed my head low. All three of us sobbed together, still holding hands. I’d like to think Mother was crying with us, her soft, scarred hands laying over top of ours. 

We calmed down when Elias’s stomach began growling. He excused himself to the snack counter, wiping his eyes as he went. Father and I were alone, accompanied by the beeping monitor. I grabbed a tissue and wiped Father’s wet face.

“I’ll make you proud Father,” I promised, “You and Mother both, I promise.” He didn’t seem to hear me. He shook his head on the pillow.

“It’s my fault she’s not here…” he groaned.

“It was an accident-”

“No, no, it’s my fault. I couldn’t convince the Council…It’s my fault, it’s my fault-”

“Father, what are you saying?” I asked. I held his face and made him turn towards me, “Tell me, what do you mean?”

“Oh God, I’ve damned her!” Father wailed, “I destroyed your Mother, I destroyed everyone!” It was his turn to grasp my tear soaked face, “Please… Please don’t tell your brother. Elias, he’s too soft, too close to making something of himself. This would break him.” I could only nod before I stumbled out of the room. I spotted Elias with an armful of snacks before my eyes blurred with tears. He rushed over as I sobbed into my hands. Elias gathered my trembling body in his arms, stroking my hair like I did with him all those years ago.

*PLANET NAME: Philo

*STATUS: TO BE ERADICATED

Those words were imprinted on my eyes as I read through the file. As soon as we’d gotten home, I went straight to Father’s office. I rifled through papers and emptied out drawers until I spotted a small black safe wedged in the corner. When I put Mother’s birthday in the keypad, the door swung open to reveal a small stack of folders, and a smiling picture of Mother. I cradled the picture in my arms while I read through the folder. My stomach twisted as I took in the words.

“... Little to no trade benefits… Disagreeable when it comes to Council measures… rebellious, simple minded people…”

  I gritted my teeth as I slammed the folder shut. All those people, all the businesses, their homes, their schools, everything gone… Because the Council couldn’t make money off them, nor did they want to follow completely inane measures. 

I shakily rang the bell near Father’s office door. Our family butler Reynolds came in almost immediately, dusting off his suit and smoothing his long, graying ponytail.

“Yes sire, how can I-” He stared around the ruined room, “Do… Do you need help tidying up the study?”

“Can I ask you something?” I asked. Reynolds nodded, “In Father’s last Council meeting, did you hear what they were discussing?”

“No sire, I wasn’t permitted near the doors.” He hesitated before adding, “Your Father was very distressed when the meeting was concluded. He shut himself in here for hours.”

“I think I know why. It has to do with Mother’s death. And with you.” Reynolds hesitated as I held the papers out to him. He put on his small silver glasses and skimmed the pages. His skin blanched as he read.

“This… This can’t be-” I nodded gravely.

“Yes. He destroyed Mother that day. And your home.” Reynolds' jaw tightened. He’d come from Philo only two years ago, sending money back to his wife and kids. He didn’t just lose a family member, he lost his entire life. His hands shook as he crushed the edges of the papers.

“He… He did this…” Reynolds said, “How could he…”

“I know, I’m sorry. But I’m gonna fix this.” I gently pulled the papers from his grip, “ I have a plan to avenge both of our families. I just need your help.” I offered Reynolds my handkerchief. He dabbed his teary eyes before standing straight and composed again.

“What do you need me to do?”

“Contact every private doctor and mage you can find originally from Philo or with family from there. We’re bringing Father home, and he’s getting the treatment he needs.”

I found Elias in the home gym, wailing on a punching bag. He weaved around the swinging bag, eyes sharp as a needle, his jabs forceful and loud.. The tough facade faded as he spotted me at the entrance.

“Nice work,” I said, “You’re wearing Mother’s gloves well.” Elias smiled as he looked down at them. 

“Thanks. I think they give me luck. Or at least make my hits stronger.” Mother had drawn all sorts of colorful designs all over the fabric when she wore them. When Elias began training for the police academy, she wrote ‘Good Luck’ and ‘I Love You’ on the palms. I catch Elias reading the gloves and smiling occasionally. He slipped them off and rested his head against the bag.

“Can I confide in you, Jasper?” he asked.

“Of course Eli.” I joined him in leaning against the bag, “What's is it?”

“I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Losing everything,” Elias said, his voice trembling, “We already lost Mother, and I don’t wanna lose Father. I’m scared I’ll fall apart and I won’t pass the exams at the academy. I might lose my dream and both my parents in a year…” He dissolved into tears again. I gathered him in another hug.

“You don’t have to lose everything, Elias,” I insisted, “We can’t get Mother back, but you still have the notes she wrote, yes? And the study guide she made?” Elias nodded, “Good, we’ll study together, I’ll help you as long as you need. And as for Father…” I chewed at my lip, “We don’t have to lose him.”

Elias cocked his head, “What do you mean?”

“We can get him treatment. Father hasn’t signed anything yet, we can get him a doctor. We can even treat him at home so you can visit everyday.” Elias slowly shook his head.

“But, Father said he didn’t want it. I want him here, I need him, but can we really make him go through something so awful?” I ruffle his curls as I thought. A small scar on Elias’s wrist gave me an idea.

“Remember when you got that scar on your wrist? We were sparring with Father and he kept cutting you?” He nodded grimly.

“He got mad when I kept crying. But he kept pulling me back on my feet.”

“And do you remember what he said when you wanted to give up?” He shook his head.

“I do. He pointed at all your wounds and said, ‘Heroes are crafted from blood. Scars are their armor and pain is their soul. If you accept all the pain that comes, you’ll forge yourself into a weapon.” I grasped Elias’s shoulders, “Father is scared of the pain, and that’s preventing him from being cured. He’s gonna cut his life short to avoid the work it takes to be healthy again. It’s up to us, his sons, the future heads of the Orenshi family, to help him accept the pain and get him back on his feet.” I leaned in close to Elias’s wide eyes, “Do you want to lose Father, Elias?

“No, I don’t.”

“Do you want to help him get better, do you want to give Father his life back, do you want to be Father’s hero?”

“Yes! Yes, I want to, I will!” Elias yelled. He grabbed at my hands, looking at all of Mother’s faded designs, his eyes on fire with determination, “I’ll do it for him, I’ll do it for Mother, I’ll be a hero!” My gin threatened to split my face.

“You’re gonna be a fine officer Elias. You already have what it takes to save a life.”

“What’s going on?”

This was the fourth time Father asked that question. Reynolds worked quickly when I revealed Father’s crimes to him. Within a week, he’d a nurse to monitor him, along with a mage doctor to treat the tumors in his body. They warned me the procedures would be extremely painful and would take months to finish. Once I explained the predicament, and presented a hefty paycheck for everyone, they were on board. All there was left was to share the news with Father. I sat outside Father’s bedroom as he whined to Reynolds.

“Reynolds, answer me, what’s going on?”

“You’re getting the treatment you signed up for,” Reynolds said coolly, “I’ve contacted a doctor to give you regular treatments to gradually burn the tumors away. It will be painful, but if everything goes smoothly, the procedure should be done in a year.”

“I didn’t consent to treatment!” Father said incredulously.

“We have your signature,” Papers shuffled as he showed Father his intricate signature. My wrist was still sore from practicing it, “You needn’t worry, the nurse will keep you as comfortable as she can. Although, maybe through this, you’ll understand the pain you put my people through when you elected to destroy my home.” There was a small silence.

“How do you-What are you saying?”

“Jasper’s outside, he’ll explain everything. Good day, sire.” Reynolds strode from the room as Father yelled for him to come back. He gently patted me on the shoulder as he passed. His warm touch steeled me as I walked into the room and shut the door. Once again, a heartbeat monitor beeped in the corner.

“Jasper, explain yourself! What’s happening, I thought I was being discharged to rest-”

“We both know you don’t deserve a peaceful death,” I said. I threw Philo’s file on Father’s blankets. Father went pale as he stared at it.

“Jasper… Please, let me explain-”

“I don’t need you to explain anything, Father. You and the Council voted to kill these people, an entire planet of people, because you couldn’t get money or goods from them. And while Mother was there…” I grabbed Father’s chin, forcing him to meet my gaze, “I saw the date on those papers. Mother was already in Philo when you made the decision, she probably called to say good night after you voted.” Tears brimmed once again, full of rage instead of grief, “That was your wife, that was mine and Elias’s fucking mother!”

“I tried to save her!” Father sobbed, “I tried to open the borders, I tried contacting her but they cut contact to the planet! I appealed to the Council to get everything postponed to get her out but-”

“Postponed?” I said incredulously, “So it was fine that everyone else died as long as Mother was okay? Do you hear yourself?” Father’s words were almost inaudible through his crying.

“Please, please forgive me! If I didn’t go along with the Council, the Orenshi name would be dirt to them! They could recommend that Elias not be accepted, you might not not be able to advance politically, the entire house would crumble!”

“So something as trivial as a family reputation was more important than an entire planet.” I let go of Father and sat heavily on the bed, “You know, I’ve been keeping a secret too: You’re not going to be treated, you’re being kept alive. The doctor will burn away the tumors, and the nurse will take care of you, but only to keep you barely here. And Reynolds is right, it will hurt.”

“Why would you do this?” Father asked feebly.

“I have more evidence to find.” I said, “I know you were involved, but I need proof from the rest of the Council. Once I get everything from them, I’ll release everything to the city, and Elias. Then I’ll let you die. I’ll let you die as a selfish, greedy, cold blooded murderer. And the rest of them will die the same way.” Soft footsteps and muffled words sounded outside the door.

“Elias will never forgive you.” Father hissed, “I’ll tell him everything.”

“Are you also going to tell him that you voted to murder his mother?” Father couldn’t answer since Elias bounded into the room. I gave him room to grasp Father's hand.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” Elias said, “It’ll be so good to help the nurse care for you.”

“C-Care for me?” Father asked.

“Oh yes, after I study with Jasper, I’ll help take care of you! I know it will hurt, but I’ll help you through it. It’s just like how you taught me.” Elias smiled brightly down at Father, “Pain is the soul of a hero. Once we accept pain, we’ll be reborn into something great.” Father shook his head, making the bed tremble from the force.

“Elias, please…” Father moaned, but Elias just tucked the blankets closer to Father’s chin.

“It’s okay to be scared, Father.  In no time, you’ll be back to full health. I promise.” Elias wrapped him in a hug again. I grinned down at Father’s hopeless face before leaving. Father’s first procedure would be in a week, the clock was already ticking. Reynolds already pulled up the addresses of the Council members. Planning to break in was one thing, but doing it was going to be a completely different story. There was much work to be done before his time was up. And I couldn’t wait to get started.