The Gift

The Gift 

(CHARLOTTE, 34 years old, is a white, middle-class woman. She is lying on her sofa, watching the TV in her pajamas with her hair in a messy bun. JAMES, 38 years old, is her husband. He is wearing a suit and has luggage with him.)

JAMES

I should go now.

CHARLOTTE

(without looking up)

Go, where? I already bought groceries yesterday. 

JAMES

Huh? No I—

CHARLOTTE 

I dressed comfortably and wore no makeup because I didn’t think I’ll see anyone I know. But guess what. I ran into Bernice! I was so embarrassed I wanted to run away. She really dressed up to go to Walmart. 

JAMES

I’m sorry about that. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again. Though, I’m still leaving right now …to Wisconsin. 

CHARLOTTE 

I didn’t know about this vacation. Without me? 

JAMES

It’s a business trip. 

CHARLOTTE 

Oh. Do you really have to go? 

(looks at all the chores and frowns)

JAMES

If I go to this business trip and look good in front of my boss—

CHARLOTTE

(eyes sparking)

You’ll make more money? 

JAMES

It would be a good opportunity for me. For us. And I’ll be away for only 3 days.

CHARLOTTE

So, you’ll make more money?

JAMES

(smiles bitterly)

Of course. Once I’m back, you can buy that purse you’ve been eyeing. 

CHARLOTTE

Alright! See you when you’re back! 

(CHARLOTTE kisses her husband on the cheeks. JAMES exits. A few moments later, the bell rings.)

Oh, did he come back to grab something? 

(CHARLOTTE opens the front door. Instead of her husband, she finds a box wrapped in a colorful wrapper tied with a silky ribbon on the ground. CHARLOTTE gasps) 

Oh, my! I married the right man. 

(CHARLOTTE brings the gift inside and smiles to herself.)

Right! Bernice is coming over later today. I’ll make sure to impress her this time. 

 (CHARLOTTE quickly shoves leftover pizza boxes and soda cans in the trash can, fixes her makeup, changes her clothes, and puts the gift in another room.)

(doorbell rings)

BERNICE

Charlotte, my dear! It is marvelous to see you again. 

(BERNICE is dressed in fancy clothes again, and CHARLOTTE looks stunned) 

CHARLOTTE

(comes in for a hug)

You look amazing today, my friend. 

BERNICE

Appreciate that compliment. 

(CHARLOTTE waits for a compliment back)

(BERNICE instead takes a seat at the dining table)

CHARLOTTE

So, how have you been doing? Everything good with your husband?

(Brings two cups of warm tea.)

BERNICE

Oh, I’m so glad you asked!

(BERNICE takes her hand and shoves it at CHARLOTTE’s face)

My husband got me another diamond ring! I told him that five is already enough, but he just won’t listen. 

(sighs and looks at her ring)

I do fancy it, though. 

CHARLOTTE

It’s great to hear that he’s still giving you gifts even after years of marriage. 

(claps her hands together) 

Speaking of gifts, guess what happened to me today! 

BERNICE

(still looking at her ring)

Your husband got you something as well?

CHARLOTTE 

(trying to impress her rich friend)

Actually, yes! He got me dresses and heels from Dior, some purses and makeup from Chanel, and some other things I do not quite recall. 

(looks up to see BERNICE’s reaction)

BERNICE

That’s a pleasant gift. Although, I somewhat doubt that it was from your husband. 

CHARLOTTE

What do you mean? 

BERNICE

I don’t think the gift was from your husband. 

CHARLOTTE 

(defensive)

Why? Is it because you think he does not make enough money to afford to give me gifts like those? 

BERNICE

No, let me clarify-

CHARLOTTE

(voice getting louder)

Let me prove you wrong. I actually have emerald rings that my husband has given me every year, but I didn’t think it was important enough to brag about it to everyone. 

BERNICE

That’s very sweet of him. Now, if you would let me continue what I was trying to say… 

CHARLOTTE

I never told you because I don’t want to be like someone I know who brags about every little thing that her husband buys her. It’s almost like she married him for his money, not love. 

(looking at Bernice)

BERNICE

(clueless)

 She surely sounds like a horrible, unsophisticated being. 

CHARLOTTE

Oh, and she also looks down on others as if money determines one’s worth. My husband may not make as much money as her husband, but he still works hard and tries his best to make me happy. That’s all that matters to me, honestly. 

BERNICE

That’s lovely of him. 

CHARLOTTE

He also gets me great gifts, and I appreciate him for everything he does and care about him. 

BERNICE

(raises her eyebrows)

So, I see you’re talking about the gifts, too? 

CHARLOTTE

(raises her voice)

Yes, but at least I don’t look down on people like you do! 

BERNICE

Oh, I was the horrible lady you were talking about?

CHARLOTTE

Oh please, Bernice. Stop with the fakeness and the acting. I’ve always hated how you make rude remarks and then act all innocent. 

BERNICE

Charlotte, is that how you’ve been thinking of me all this time? I was always genuine with you, and I was happy for you and your husband. 

(looks CHARLOTTE up and down)

 I guess you were secretly feeling spiteful of me. 

CHARLOTTE

Jealous of you? I already told you; I have emerald rings. 

BERNICE

Enough with the lies. I hope you do not forget that you married my best friend. 

CHARLOTTE

Oh, right. 

BERNICE 

What I meant to say was that he knows nothing about makeup, not even lipstick. 

CHARLOTTE

(Her tone changes with sudden realization)

So, you’re saying there’s another man trying to impress me with gifts? That’s unlikely. I know I’m beautiful but…

BERNICE

Whatever. Now, if you’ll please excuse me. I have other important things to take care of. 

(BERNICE exits) 

CHARLOTTE

What an over-reacting drama queen. Eh. 

(continues sipping her tea)

(Doorbell rings again. Charlotte opens her door and finds another gift.) 

CHARLOTTE 

Another one! (pause) But how? He should be on the plane heading to Iowa by now. Or was it one of the Dakoda’s? 

(She takes in the box)

CHARLOTTE opens the first box and notices an Apple Watch and AirPods. 

(reading the note) 

I wasn’t sure what kind of bands you would want with the watch, so I bought all of them.

CHARLOTTE squeals and opens the second box and finds two dresses and heels from Dior and three purses, five lipsticks, three eyeshadow palettes, and a foundation from Chanel. 

Huh. 

(pause) 

This is exactly what I told Bernice the gift was. 

(reading the note from the second box) 

If you want something, just say it. I can buy you anything. 

(looking up) 

How sweet of him! 

(Just as CHARLOTTE puts all the gifts in the bedroom, JAMES unexpectedly enters with his luggage bags.)

  JAMES

Hey, I’m back. 

CHARLOTTE

(coming out of the bedroom, smiling) Hey. 

JAMES

The business trip was canceled because my boss forgot it was his 29th anniversary with his wife! I cannot believe how forgetful he is. 

CHARLOTTE

No he did not! How could he? 

(JAMES hangs his coat on the chair at the dining table.) 

JAMES

He once forgot about a meeting we were supposed to have, and he had everyone waiting until we decided to postpone it to another day, thinking he was going through some emergency. (looks at CHARLOTTE) No, he was grabbing donuts with his friend. 

CHARLOTTE

That’s hilarious! 

JAMES

What is? 

CHARLOTTE

That he was only getting donuts. 

(JAMES chuckles and heads to the bedroom) 

JAMES

Charlotte? 

CHARLOTTE

Hm? Something wrong? 

JAMES

You went shopping? These dresses and heels are gorgeous. 

(CHARLOTTE smiles playfully) 

They even wrote you a letter! 

(James not observing the paper carefully)

Customer service seems really important these days. 

CHARLOTTE

(trying to play along) 

Actually, I didn’t buy  these. 

JAMES

Ah, gifts? 

CHARLOTTE

Yeah, I wonder why. It’s not my anniversary. 

(looks at JAMES as if anticipating a reply from him)

JAMES

Why are you looking at me that way? 

CHARLOTTE

You know you sent these. 

(looks at JAMES in the eyes) 

Thank you. 

(smiles)

JAMES

What? 

  CHARLOTTE 

Stop the acting already! 

JAMES

I am not sure what act you’re talking about. 

CHARLOTTE

(imitating JAMES) 

I am not sure what act you’re talking about. 

(back to her voice)

You left these gifts for me because it’s my birthday! I can’t believe you’re the only one who remembered. 

JAMES

(pause)

Your birthday? 

(suddenly realizing) 

Oh, yes! I can’t believe you caught me! Yes I got those as your birthday gift. 

(laughs nervously)

CHARLOTTE

(not noticing JAMES’s jaw drop) 

See! You can’t fool me. 

JAMES

No, I cannot!  

CHARLOTTE

Not going to lie, you almost had me at first! I thought you were really going on a business trip, forgetting about my birthday. 

JAMES

(a sarcastic gasp)

I would never forget your birthday! What kind of a husband leaves his wife for a business trip on her birthday. I would never. 

(shaking his head)

CHARLOTTE

Your boss did. Ha! 

(pause)

Oh, right. That was a made-up story too, huh? 

(laughs)

JAMES

(nervously laughs along)

Seems like I almost fooled you with that one! 

CHARLOTTE

(dramatically gasping)

You’re right! I thought you just left the first gift before actually leaving for Idaho! But then when I saw that second gift, I knew it was a surprise event you planned for me. 

JAMES

It’s Wisconsin. And enough about the present. Do you want to go out to a nice dinner? 

CHARLOTTE

Just one more thing. How did you hear the conversation I had with Bernice? 

JAMES

What conversation?

CHARLOTTE

The second gift had everything I lied to Bernice about: the dresses and heels from Dior and purses and makeup from Chanel.

JAMES

Coincidence? 

(shrugs)

CHARLOTTE

Since when did you know about makeup? And that note you left me. “If you want something, just say it. I can buy anything for you” That sounds like you heard my conversation with Bernice. 

JAMES

(pauses)

Charlotte- 

(The doorbell rings)

(CHARLOTTE and JAMES both go to the front door and find a box of cake.) 

CHARLOTTE

(Reading the message she got on her new Apple Watch) 

Sorry, didn’t know it was your birthday..? 

(CHARLOTTE and JAMES look at each other) 

FIN