Mistakes

Submitted into Contest #45 in response to: Write a story about change.... view prompt

68 comments

General



Wouldn’t it be amazing if we get to undo our life’s biggest mistake? This story is about a girl who got the opportunity to do so but the consequences weren’t that great.... 


It was a cold morning of the month of December. Everyone in the college seemed to be very anxious including me, after all, today we were going to find out that who will get the scholarship to the most prestigious law school? Even though I was quite sure that I will be one of them.


You must be wondering who am I? My name is Anna Millers. I always dreamt of becoming a lawyer, wearing a black coat, standing in front of the judge and protecting those people who were innocent. Coming from a middle class family,the first step to fulfill my dream was to get a final admit to the Harvard Law school with a full scholarship.


Every year the entrance exam for admission to Harvard Law college happens in 2nd week of November. Even though, I didn’t study all the topics as I was spending time with my new friend, Cara, still when I was in the examination hall, taking the exam, the questions seemed easy and I knew the answer to most of the them.


The D-day came and the result was displayed on the college notice board. I struggled to move forward, turning aside a bunch of students, to see my name and I couldn't believe. My name was not in the list. I was shell-shocked and realized that I failed the exam. Tears started to roll down my eyes. How was it possible? I am the best student in my school I thought. my body felt heavy and I dragged myself to somehow reach my home. As soon as I saw my mother, I hugged her and she said, “Let me guess, you failed the exam, right? “Yes, but how did you figured out?” I asked. She looked lovingly towards me and replied, “I saw you spending so much time with Cara and could see that you weren’t focusing on studies. You got complacent and thought that even without studying you can pass the exam but that will never happen.”


I burst into tears. I wanted to say something to her but couldn't. Seeing me like this she made me sit on the couch and said, “See Anna, in our life we make lot of blunders, some are big and some are small but we have to move on and try again. If you will keep on thinking that you failed, you will never be able to move on and there will be absolutely no chance that you will become a lawyer one day. There are so many other law schools which are also good and you can still apply." “Hmm you are right", I said. My mom passed me a smile. I continued, “But I want to ask you something. You said that we all have done mistakes right? so what is your life’s biggest mistake?”


She looked sideways and sadness floated on her face. I didn’t expect her to answer my question but she said, “Just like you want to become a lawyer, I always wanted to become a fashion designer. I could never muster courage to share my dream with my parents. After my 12th exams, one fine day after lot of hesitation, I told them that I want to become a fashion designer. My father got furious and forced me to get married. I wasn't brave enough to protest and I regret that till date".


Believe me your dad is not a bad person but my dreams were very precious to me. I always feel that if I had showed courage that day and protested then perhaps I could have applied for a fashion designing course. Who knows, I could have got selected and realized my dream of becoming a fashion designer. One should at least take a chance. But the damage is already done and all this is past now. I have moved on. Okay, let’s stop discussing about such depressing topics, go and get changed.


I felt very sad for my mom and she is right that I should move on. I decided that I will not give up. I will find a way to reverse what I did. I know it sounds insane but I searched on google that ‘How to reverse the biggest mistake of one's life?' but all I got on the internet was self awareness books and articles but eventually I saw a link with the heading ‘Click here if you want to reverse your life’s biggest mistake.’


I was skeptical that clicking on the link might crash my laptop but I still clicked. When the website opened, it was mentioned that ‘Write your life’s biggest mistake in the given box below’ and I did what it said. When I pressed enter, there came a reply that ‘Your mistake has been reversed’. But then I doubted that maybe this whole website is a scam as I didn’t notice any change in my life. Few days later,my phone rang up. When I picked up the phone, I could hear a female voice. She said, “I am talking from the Harvard Law School. We are sorry to reach you this late but there was a printing error, you have actually passed the exam and have got the full scholarship of Harvard Law School.” I was stunned. I didn't even say thank you to her and immediately disconnected the phone. I was sure that this happened because of the website and that’s when I thought about my mom. I thought that if my mom writes her mistake too then her mistake too will get reversed.


I immediately send that link to my mom and then after changing my clothes, I went downstairs. I saw my mom sitting in front of her desktop, she looked towards me and asked, “ have you sent this link to me? She continued,I have opened it and did what it said but what was it all about?”


“Mom, it’s a fantastic website. You know I wrote my biggest mistake in the box and guess what today I got a call saying that there was an error and I got the scholarship!”. She replied, “Really! That’s fab. I am so happy for you Anna.” I asked her, “What did you write?”. she replied, “I wrote that not becoming a fashion designer was my life’s biggest mistake.”

I told her that “I knew it that you will write that , now the website will reverse it and you will become a fashion argh....”


“What’s wrong Anna?” my mom asked looking a little concerned. I replied, “My whole body is feeling excruciating pain. Can you get me a glass of water?” I requested. “Sure”, after saying that my mom rushed to the kitchen and then suddenly my body started to pain even more intensely. That’s when the thought struck that if the website has reversed my mom's mistake and my mom has becomes a fashion designer. Then may be, my mom actually never married my dad and I was not born. That’s when I started to experience the changes. The interior of the house started changing. The house was tastefully done and filled with expensive furniture. But the most important change, my skin was getting lighter. I was disappearing.


In front of me emerged a dining table where my mom was sitting, wearing a beautiful dress, and in front of her was sitting a man, who was definitely not my dad. I could also see two kids sitting on side chairs. They were having dinner and were talking and laughing. I tried to call my mom but she couldn't hear my loud cries. I decided to go near her but my body became so feeble that every muscle in my body started to ache. I couldn't walk and fell on the floor. My skin was getting lighter and lighter and I disappeared....,,



June 11, 2020 00:36

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68 comments

Deborah Angevin
11:22 Jul 31, 2020

A well-written story (especially the plot twist!). I won't comment about grammar and English (I feel you, I have the exact same problem!). But, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it :D Would you mind checking my recent story out, "A Very, Very Dark Green"? Thank you!

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Grace M'mbone
08:17 Jul 28, 2020

Mehak this was a beautiful story. I liked it and I liked the twist. I really didn't see it coming that she would have to disappear upon reversing her mom's mistake. Great job you did here. It would be an honour to me if you took a look at just one of my stories. Once again, you did a great job.

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Ashley Wong
06:23 Jul 04, 2020

Nice story~! It was interesting! There are a few mistakes here and there, but overall it was enjoyable to read :>

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Alby Carter
21:10 Jul 03, 2020

It's interesting. I like it.

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Grace Uppendahl
01:42 Jul 03, 2020

Loved it! The one thing that bothers me just a tad is the opening paragraph. It is more of a pet peeve thing but introducing the plot of the story as telling us what it is kind of takes away from the suspense and mystery of the writing. Other than that, I absolutely loved it!

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Sanna Aaltonen
04:50 Jul 01, 2020

What a great idea for a story! I loved it and saw the expanding possibilities immediately... As I did look at the other comments I agree that maybe it was not the final version, but hey these are prompts, guys! For me, the purpose is to get a short story out in a relatively short time window. Thanks Mehak for commenting mine!

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07:55 Jun 30, 2020

This is really a nicely done master piece.. Good job.

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Dobby's Sock
05:44 Jun 30, 2020

Hey Mehak I will be honest with my feedback. I hope you take it constructively. The prose style seemed like it was typed out in a rush and not much thought was given to revising it. So for anything creative, there is a simple idea, and I am not saying that it'd come easily to you if you are new; there are direct ways of putting across something, whether in exposition or dialogue. But art happens in it when you figure out ways to bend those "direct ways" into your style of putting across that thought to your readers. I hope you are getti...

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Bowen Bowie
03:15 Jun 30, 2020

Wow! That's an amazing story! I love that the protagonist is the person who vanishes; a very difficult position to take! You took a brave Point of View (POV) and it paid off! Well done!

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Micah Granada
01:09 Jun 30, 2020

This is a unique story. I liked the idea among all else. The ending was something that you couldn't have guessed from the beginning. That was really something. Here are some of my technical observations/tips: Check your punctuation and capitalization. There were parts where the use of comma is quite excessive. You can also improve your use of preposition. Pronoun also seems to be an issue, for example: "...to seek my name and I couldn't believe" lacks the pronoun 'it.' “Yes, but how did you figured out?” The pronoun in this one, figu...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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James Offenha
22:23 Jun 29, 2020

I loved the concept. We all wish we had made different choices (including me). I’d take out redundant phrases. For example, “‘Have you sent this link to me?” Could be “Did you send this link?” Think about words you can take out to get to the bones of it. Also, I wanted more back story. Why did she spend more times with her friends. Maybe start with her spending more time with her friends and not studying. I also wanted the story to continue to see what her mom’s new life is like. Is it Cinderella or does she regret not listening to...

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Reagan B.
20:37 Jun 29, 2020

I really liked the overall theme of this story, it was quite compelling. As some of the previous comments mentioned, it could be tidied up a bit but that is something that comes with practice especially if English isn't one's first language. I myself am still working on that particular talent. That being said, I enjoyed this story and can't wait to read more of your writing!

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