The Dreaded Impassive Impedement of Impassible Apathy

To Impair.

In thoughts, words, actions.

Impalpable.

In thoughts, words, actions.

Lost in the labyrinth of existence.

Not quite dead.

Not quite alive.

Unintuitively living a life of rigidity and routine. Desiring so badly for 1+1 to equal 2. Reason and sanity lost, too. The start of the day and the end of the day are the same. No different. Days. Seemingly an endless loop of numb existence and dumb persistence. Abtrusely existing in the fringes of the day, too frightened to take a leap, too tired to care.

Contradictions abound.

Contradictions rule the day.

All day.

Every day.

Yesterday.

Today.

Probably tomorrow, too.

Predictable.

The day is as dark as the night. Closing the eyes is an option. Make it all go away. No need to see what is not there anyway, right? If I were to be wrong, in your eyes, it would not really matter anyway. The vast, dark sky informs us that endlessness is endless.

Convincing conventional convictions of wisdom and whimsy seem to be the same.

All day.

Every day.

Yesterday.

Today.

Probably tomorrow, too.

Predictable.

Ambiguity is security.

Looking up, at the dark sky, seems benign in a world where contagions and intruders bind themselves.Together. Without warning. Knowingly. With intention. Like a snake.

Repetition.

Remind.

Unwind.

All wound up with nowhere to go. Well it, the energy, has to go somewhere. In. Out. Up. Down. Around and around and around and around. Dizzyingly so.

The state of the world and the weight of the world the same. Held in the shoulders, mirroring one another. The deep, dark, vast sky of the night does not make it “go away.” The deep, dark, vast sky of the night, stands still. Up there.

Triviality gnaws at the psyche like a burrowing mole. Moving from fear to torment in a nanosecond. It sticks. Turmoil. Won’t “get lost.” “get out.” Or. “Go away.” Paralyzing. Threatening. Exhausting. It can be.

Make a decision. Making a decision. Impossibly impassable. Partners in a lost world, lost ship. The lost ship of the soul. Impediments are the stars in the sky. Dark. Vast. Never ending. Endlessly endless.

Tensity. Tightness. Anger. Choking. Clogging.

Strangling and tangling the synapses of our existences.

Profound. Deep-seated.

Deep seeded sometimes.

Where it comes from. Unknown. The answer is not in the vast and endless sky of night. No matter the beauty. The twinkling. The sprinkling of light so far, so vast.

Unguided by instinct, the choice between freedom and bondage a terrifying, yet appealing choice. (wk)

”It is the anxiety of understanding of being free when considering undefined possibilities of one’s life and the immense responsibility of having the power of choice over them.” (wk)

“It’s personal.” Rules the night sky, with the twinkling stars winking back with the whimsical non commitment of an answer. No answer.

Despair and Impair become: A pair.

One could argue this is no way to live. No way to die. There are no easy answers. There are endless questions.When life lacks meaning or confusion, the look up to the sky offers both endless endlessness and opportunities. Depends on state of the mind. Stages of the mind, too.

Life can hit us in waves to knock us on our keesters….. wondering what just happened. The loss of personal values guides us to change, setbacks always occur. After all. We’re only human. Trying to get along. Trying to not get along. In the current existence of life’s challenges.

Looking backward instead of upward. Passed one’s peak in life offers new and hangs on to old in ways both counter and productive. Counter productive.

It can be cosmic. That may explain why a glance up to the sky can be both overwhelming and peaceful. The explainable problem. Difference. Indifference. Differences. They play a larger part in the stages of the game of life than any of us realize.

Life is precious.

Apathy is a contagion.

Altruism is the extension of a desire to help.

There is an “I” in attitude,

In the dark, vast sky, there exists a certainty any human can improve. Adjust.

Attitude adjustments come in many ways🤓

If it is kicks you are looking for, impulsivity, the unrestrained expression of any whim, will not be answered by the whimsical twinkling of the starry, starry darkness of the night sky.

Image, as has been said, is not everything.

Pealing back the layers of ourselves is a time consuming, heart wrenching lesson in

”Ouch.”

I cannot believe I said that.

“Ouch.”

I cannot believe I did this.

”Ouch”.

I cannot believe I did that.

On and on and on and on.

Round and round and round.

Actuality of the self is still a debatable topic. Fluid. Endlessly endless. May be while ordering life’s stories and difficulties, joys and sorrows seem as familiar as gazing at an endless dark night’s sky. No answers. No call backs.

We hedge.

We haw.

We hem.

We haw.

We hemorrhage and leverage ourselves into oblivion, into the darkness of the night sky to perhaps become

Lost.

In its vastness,

So we do not have to face up to

ourselves.

Hold ourselves accounable for the ways in which we have been.

Less than.

To others.

The chip in the shoulder becomes a boulder real heavy.

Too heavy, a burden.

We drop it onto others.

Our weakness becomes the walker, crutch and cane. We limp along. We, more and more find we are looking down, instead of,

Up.

Apathetically uncaring about kindness and man kindness. When we look into the twinkly beauty of the whimsical stars, we realize doing anything meaningless, is usually, but not always,

done on a whim, without thoughtful thinking.

There is no great foundational purpose, no life stage worth the gamble, worth the waste of time. Authenticity has a place in life. Perhaps it walks alongside attitude, elbowing one another to remind us that when we feel we matter, we feel others matter, too.

A win, win existence.

Remembering we still have the power to steer our directions, our lives, our wants and desires is a lesson in humility. Roadblocks will always be a part of our existence. They will, no matter how old we are, how smart we may think we are, they will always test our ability to grow.

When life throws a curve ball.

There are choices:

Swing at the wicked drop in the curve.

Wait it out.

Take another pitch.

Wait it out.

Take another pitch.

Swing away.

You may just hit it into the vast, dark night sky. The answer may not reveal itself in that moment, or for years later.

Going down swinging is the way to go.

Who chooses to simply stand there, idly?

And.

Watch life pass by.