The trauma

I've been lying on the floor in a fetus position trying to protect myself from them. I tried peeking but regretted it cause one of them landed a hit on my head. I can hear the cheers and insults some spectators throwing at me but as time goes by, the noise just became like a buzz of the bees. I can no longer care about the tears and snot on my face but I still showed them my fighting spirit by glaring at them. 

After what happened, the crowd gathered to watch me endure the pain disperse as soon as a teacher entered our room. He was our homeroom teacher but I never expected anything from him. At first, I was hoping that he could help me somehow but I learned that he was afraid of angering the one who incites my classmate to gang up on me. The one who incites them is a son of a politician who donates a large sum of money to our school while I, myself, am just a son of both parents working as an employee.

"We will now have a surprise exam to see how much you've learned this past few months," our homeroom teacher announced. 

"Booooo! So lame!" one of the students at the back commented.

"Lame or not, we will now start. Remove anything unnecessary on your table except your ballpen," our homeroom teacher instructed with a deadpan expression.

Silence ruled over our room as the exam started. At some point, I can feel someone staring at me but I just distracted myself by double-checking my answers. One thing I'm confident in is my intelligence and thanks to this, I can keep on dreaming to become the person I want to be in the future.

The bell rang signaling the end of the exam for the day. We passed our exam papers in front before leaving the room. I escaped from the room hoping that I can escape from their grasp but it seems like they sense what I plan on doing. Somebody grab my collar from behind and started dragging me in the opposite direction. They threw me and I landed on the heap of black trash bags. I can't stomach its smell so I started vomiting. Ah, there goes my lunch. What a waste. I thought while wiping the remains on the side of my lip.

"You dumbass! Didn't you saw me signing you to give me answers for the exam earlier? Huh?! Or are you pretending to be blind?" an angry voice shouted.

I slowly lifted my head and look in his direction. "I --"

A kicked on my stomach cut me off from telling my excuse for what I did. I was grabbed by my collar then a powerful punch came my way. I have no ways to avoid it so I accepted my fate.

"Ha! You're wasting my time. I will teach you more lessons tomorrow. Here me?!" 

Before I can even answer, they turned their back on me and started walking away. I tried calming myself down but, is it my fault this is happening to me? My blood started to boil and before I can think of anything else, I threw the nearest trash bag in front. The trash bag ripped resulting in its contents raining down on them. They stopped walking and turned their head in my direction.

"This bastard! You really like pissing me off, huh!" their leader shouted angrily.

They run towards me and threw punches and kicks that I only receive while in a fetus position on the ground. 

"Huh? Ark? Is that you?" a voice belonging to a girl asked, trying to confirm if what she was seeing is correct.

They stop raining punches and kicks on me as they heard her. My eyes became wide and started racking my brains to prevent her from getting involved but of course, nothing goes my way.

"Who are you, missy? Do you know our friend here?" the leader asked, smirking as if he saw a way to make the situation more interesting.

Before she can even give him an answer, I shouted, "NO! WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER!" 

"Shut up, punk!" one of them, Joel, warned me, giving me a kick on my face. "Ten, why don't we have our way to her?"

My eyes became wide and tears started running down my face. I crawled towards the leader, Ten, and started pleading. "Please! I will do anything you want! Just -- just leave her alone!"

"ARK!" the girl shouted but I didn't even look at her way. "What have you guys done to him?! I'm gonna call the police."

She fished out her phone from her sling bag but before she can even dial the number of the police, Joel snatched it from her and throw it to the wall with a thud sound.

"We can't have you do that," he said to her. "Why don't we go and have fun?"

Ten look down on me and smiled, giving me chills at my back. "Why don't we let you witness us having fun with her? While we're at it, we will let you join too. What can you say?"

I stood up and tried to punch him in the face but someone from behind stopped me from doing it by making me lose my consciousness. He struck me from behind and the only thing I can remember is the voice of the girl, Hilde, asking for my help.

I slowly opened my eyes and what greeted me is the view of them raping Hilde while she was crying. I started thrashing around then one of them saw my actions causing him to laugh.

"My, you already woke up before we even finish having fun with her," he said in a mocking tone.

"YOU BASTARDS! STOP IT! LEAVE HER ALONE!" I shouted angrily while continuing to thrash around like a madman trying to escape from the ropes binding me.  

They stopped what they're doing and started laughing. Rein, one of the members of the group, gave a stick of cigarette to Ten and gave it alight.

"It's too late, loser," Ten told me as he puffs out a cloud of smoke. "We already made her our woman! Ha! Now, tell us what you feel?"

I look a Hilde whose eyes looked dead. Traces of tears can be seen on her face. Her neat hairstyle was now in a mess because of struggling from them but since they're many of them, she already resigned herself in doing that. This is my fault. I'm weak! I didn't even save her from them. How would I even face her parents after all this? I let this happen because I'm weak! Ugh! Damn it!

"It's obvious what you're thinking. Ha! If you only listened to us, this wouldn't happen to her, you know," Ten said. "Don't worry. we enjoyed having her while you're sleeping so soundly in that chair."

They continued their way on her and all I can do is hear her cries of desperation that turned into moans because of pleasure. I cursed at them but all they did was laugh at me.

I stopped coming to school after what happened. I heard from my parents that Hilde flew to the other country with her parents to help her recuperate. My parents tried to ask me what happened because they got no answer from Hilde. I felt guilty about what happened and shut myself in my room. For the first few weeks, I didn't eat the meals my mother left for me. Months passed, I started eating those meals. A doctor came to our house and check up on me. He told my parents that I need to go far away from here to recuperate like Hilde did. He also told them that I need to ask for an appointment with a psychiatrist.

Years have passed, my condition seems to be improving but it worsened one day when I watched a news broadcast while eating dinner with my family.

"According to what we have gathered, Ten Montemayor is now engaged to Rosemarie Miyamura as a sign of the Montemayor's and Miyamura's partnership as fellow businessmen."

I couldn't hear anything anymore and started throwing what I can grasp near me to the television in front. My mother yelped loudly while my father was trying his hardest to stop me by turning off the television and patting my back gently. I didn't know that my tears started flowing down then I lose consciousness.

Days passed and an unexpected visitor came to our new home. I opened the door and saw a familiar girl wearing a simpler outfit but it didn't hide her own unique beauty she exudes.

"You look like a drug addict, Ark," she jokingly commented as she saw my state.

I didn't reply because I was too busy thinking about the reason she came here. I didn't know I started shaking unconsciously but it stopped as she held my wrist and pulled me to her. "I'm sorry for making you like this, Ark," she whispered.

She came inside and looked around the house while I'm busy preparing for the coffee she likes to drink. After both of us settled down, silence took over letting us both sense the awkward atmosphere.

"I'm sorry for visiting you without prior notice but your parents asked for my help. They were both worried about you," she started. "It's been hard for me, too."

I started hearing sobs from her causing me to bow my head, afraid of seeing her face. "I fought hard. Thankfully, my parents helped me and after a year, I told them everything," she paused. "They were angry at you at first but as they calmed down, they began to understand your situation that time."

"Both of us were helpless and the only thing we can do is to throw curses at them. That's it. It left both of us a wound that heals so slowly and no matter what happened both of us can only reminisce that hard moment," she continued. "My parents started preparing for everything we need once we decided to file a case against them but your parents contacted us about your situation."

"Hilde, I --" I started but then interrupted by her.

"Let me finish this," she muttered under her breath. "I want you to stand back up and reflect on what happened. It's your fault, yes, but it's also my fault for getting myself involved in your matters. Actually, I didn't regret getting involved, you know."

I started talking while crying without a care if I look pathetic in front of her because right now, what matters is to let my thoughts and feelings be revealed. We spent the whole day talking to each other. A day has passed, I stood at our door deciding that I should step out as my first step but my feet remained rooted in one place. A knock was heard and before I could even open it, the door opened by itself revealing Hilde's figure. She looked at me, silently cheering me on. I slowly walk in her direction until I was finally outside of the house. A ray of warm sunshine greeted me making my eyes squint and soon after it adjusted, I started walking alongside Hilde.

I realized that even after what happened to both of us, we still have our own ways on how to heal from it. I thought of revenge but what can I even do? I agreed on helping Hilde and his family in gathering evidence to make Hilde's case impossible to get out to. While that guy is busy having the time of his life, both of us became busy fighting our own selves and overcoming whatever obstacle came to us.