You can do it

I rubbed my neck under a violet hoodie. So this is it. This is the day. The first spring flowers bloomed at a local park with colors of white, red and yellow mocking me to fulfill my promise. The promise I made with Matt, my best friend, while totally drunk at the Christmas party. Damn him for recoding it all to make me keep it, knowing I would chicken out otherwise. 

So, what was it all about? Well, I had to apply for a promotion. The assistant manager position will be free in a few weeks and I really, really wanted the job. The problem is I am not confident enough, it is hard for me to ask for something. You see, I hate confrontations. So how could I promised to apply and move outside of my comfort zone? Am I going to risk refusal? 

My throat tightened and slight dizziness overwhelmed my senses as I came closer to my workplace. I sat on the bench when my legs started to shook. I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, trying not to hyperventilate. In and out. In and out. I focused of breathing as dizziness slowly disappeared. I collected myself and tried to man the hell up. This is the first time I am not happy to go to work. 

I stood up finally composed and moved across the park. Right there around the corner was located the Coffeenest, favorite joint of coffee lovers. Especially for ones going home from work, who liked to stop by for a sip and chat. I walked inside, the bell above doors announced my arrival. The inside was nice, cozy and about half full. The interior was a mix of wooden and metal tables for two and boots with soft cushions that could seat up to six people. The counter on the right side was long almost reaching the back wall of the shop and had coffee beans, tea, and food display. As we served sandwiches, croissants, and cakes too. The shop was quite popular but after adding sandwiches to the menu our sales tripled. We prepared sandwiches on our own, which was my idea by the way, and it was the most favorite served item besides coffee. We were often praised to be the best in the district. Many students came for it in the morning to eat at school and often grabbed a coffee to the go. 

Jocelyn was behind the counter browsing through her phone her blond curly hair partly hiding her face. She was clearly not interested in customers and not bothered to look up at my arrival. I am amazed she is still employed here by her lack of interest. I came to the back into the locker room to change nearly bumping to Samantha, our part-time server. 

"Hey. Glad you are here I am late for class." She said as she hurried to change. She was studying medicine at a local university, this job was partially paying for it. She chatted in the process to inform me about all event of the day. Her blabbing was tiring sometimes. I turned her down while changing, my mind flying elsewhere. 

"…and that cute boy came again. But Jocelyn scared him away again. Oh, and she is after that assistant manager position." That got my full attention. 

“What?” My eyes were huge and pulse-quickening. I swallowed my throat suddenly dry. Will I be able to compete against her? 

"I heard Clair telling her she will give her a boost." No, no, no, no. Claire, our current assistant manager who will go on maternity leave in a few weeks, loved Jocelyn. Why did not I think about it sooner? I should apply sooner. Of course, she will help her out. They were the best friends right now. 

"Hey chickas, how have you been?" Matt our next server, my best friend and my roommate entered with a bang as usual. His smile vanished as he saw me. “What happened?” 

"Hey, I just explained to Page, Jocelyn is after assistant manager job." Samantha chirped in. 

He turned from her to me his brown eyes meeting my own. "See that is why you have to apply!" He threw his hands out wildly. 

"Ugh. Is it even necessary? Jocelyn has the job practically." My voice shook as I explained. Totally giving up. Why was I giving up without a fight? 

"Oh come on. You do not know that. You have to try it. You can not give up without the fight. You promised! How can we work here when she will rule us all?” Well, he had a point, she would fire us all starting with me. “And besides the boss loves you." 

"What? He does not." Our hot boss, Kyle, was a yummy wild dream for all our female customers and staff alike with his wild black hair and green eyes hiding behind black-rimmed glasses. But I do not mix work with personal life even if he is worth breaking my rules. 

"Anyway, today is the day to go and ask for it. Do not give up. Did you hear about saying that when you want something all you have to do is try? I know you want it bad, really really bad." The end sounded a little dirty. But the fact was I wanted it really bad. The job. It was something I dreamed about. Climbing up the ladder to a manager position and maybe someday own my own coffee shop. This was the first step. Then why was I so afraid to try it? Was it the possibility of rejection and failure? I did not want to fail. I dreaded it with all my being. I chewed my lower lip trying to decide what to do. "Off you go. I will serve customers for you.” He pushed me to the doors and out of the room before I could say anything more, making the decision for myself. 

I straightened my uniform and headed to the boss's office which was upstairs, mentally preparing myself. The thing is I did not know how to ask for it. What should I say? I chewed my lip more nearly drawing the blood. Saying 'Hey I want that assistant manager position.' just seemed rude. I stopped in front of his door. Great, I did not know what to say. Oh god. I try to improvise, hopefully, my brain will come up with something better. So here goes nothing. I raised my hand to knock when I heard a familiar voice. 

"... so, therefore, I recommend Jocelyn to the position. She is the best suited and ready to take responsibility." My hopes vanished together with my already small courage. My mouth hung open I could feel my pulse in my throat. But I wanted to hear his answer. 

"Well, I accept and think about it and get back to her tomorrow. But…" Oh no. He accepted. My shoulders slouched and I walked slowly back to changing room. I sat on the bench and rested my arms on my knees as I hid my face in my hands. It was over. My whole career here was screwed. There was no way Jocelyn will let me stay when we hated each other. A lone tear escaped and rolled down my cheek and fell onto the floor. Damn it, I should have asked for it sooner. Why do I have to chicken out every time? The doors opened up but I refused to look up too broken up to care who came in. 

"Look who we got here." It was Jocelyn and judging by her voice she wore that smug look on her face. "You should go back to work when you still have one." She mocked. 

"What do you mean?" I look up not caring tears rolled down my cheeks. 

"Oh, my position is already approved.” She moved closer and whispered. ”And do you think I will keep you? The pain in the ass? No. You will be the first one to leave the ship. Looser." She took her things. 

I was too stunned to respond. So my fears were true. My vision filled with white spots. Her laughter followed her out when she left. I blinked spots away. How can someone like her exist? I am no loser. Not after all I have done to prove myself. Then it all clicked together. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. 

"Who the hell she thinks she is? I am not a loser." I shouted, stood up, and paced across the changing room. I had the same right to apply for a job. And when you want something you have to do something for it?! That is how Matt said it, right? "I am gonna ask for the damn position. I am gonna go there and tell him that I have done so much for this shop and will do much more as an assistant manager. Yes! I will do it! I will come to him and tell him to his handsome, sexy and completely irresistible face. Yes, you can do this, Page! You deserve it. You can quit not after all you have done to get where you are now. That bitch can not take what is mine…" I turned blazing with confidence, possibly for the first time in my life and gasped. "Boss?" I squeaked as cold sweat run down my spine. Mortified. He was casually leaning on the door frame with a smile spread through his face, today he had short stubble, which added to his masculinity. His eyes sparked and I became red instantly. How long was he standing there? Shit shit shit. 

Claire peeked from behind him her mouth hanging open. Great. Now everyone will know about this embarrassing moment. I wanted to run and hide but they were standing in the way. So that will not do. 

"Page?" I looked up swallowing the lump in my throat and met his eyes. "My office now." He smirked and left expecting me to follow. 

I dragged my feet after him. How come he was on top of the stairs already? Damn him and my short legs. I entered his office and closed the door. He was already behind his mahogany table typing something into the computer and motioned me to sit down on one of the chairs in front of him. What will happen now? I chewed my lip again. This time drawing blood. I winced and licked it to stop bleeding. Will he fire me? Laugh at me? I looked down at the floor. There was a big black spot there. Why was it there? Oh god. How wrong this day is. Stupid spring and stupid promise. 

"So you made a great play downstairs." His chucking interrupted my observation, my gaze snapping to him. 

"Boss, how much did you heard?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly. 

"Pretty much everything." I hid my face in my hands and groaned. Great. Now I will have to find a new job. Damn. I loved it here. I could hear him laughing. Could it be? He will not fire me? 

"Boss?" I looked up and met his gaze, his green eyes sparked, his massive muscled build shaking with laughter as he moved to sit on the table in front of me. 

"Call me Kyle already. You were hilarious by the way." My blush returned flaming my face red under his stare. Oh, come on, man up already Page. This is your only chance. Now is the time to act. 

"Okay, Kyle," my voice broke. Just go for it. You have nothing to lose at this point. I took a deep breath and started. "I have done so much for this shop and I would really like to apply for the assistant manager position. I really want this job and together we could make it an even a better place." I knew it may sound like a common thing to say in an interview but it was true. We could make it even a better place. I knew it. 

"To be honest I originally wanted to give you the job but I was not sure you would want it. You did not make a move, did not apply so I thought you are not up for it." Damn me. I should have done something sooner. Hope it is not too late. "And if you still want it it is yours." I shivered. 

"What? You are not going to fire me?" My voice small hope filling it for the first time. 

"Fire you? No. What for? For speaking your mind, for calling Jocelyn a bitch or by calling me sexy?" My cheeks burned and eyes blinked rapidly. He chucked again. "No, I am not. I would not like to lose your Page. You are the asset I would like to keep." A huge weight dropped from my chest. He will not fire me. We were okay. 

"Then I accept it." I agreed breathlessly. 

"Great I will ready papers to sign for you tomorrow." 

"Thank you, Kyle." He nodded and left to sit behind the table again. 

"No problem and as you said it you deserve it." I nodded and could not stop my smile to spread through my face, I was not praised for my work before and it felt pretty great. I stood up to leave. 

"And Page." I turned to him with a raised eyebrow. His gaze followed up my body. What? Did he? "What do you say? Dinner? You and me? Tonight at seven?" I stilled completely did he really asked me out? I blinked rapidly. Me? When all the other girls drolled after him? His gaze searched my face expecting my answer. I blinked. I will not lie, the idea appealed to me. But I did not date anyone from work. Maybe, I could make an exception, right? What will happen if it will not work? Oh, fuck it. I will not give up! Finally making my mind I smiled full teeth smile. 

"Yes to all." He smiled back his eyes sparkling with excitement. A knock interrupted our moment. 

"Back to work and do not make me regret my decision." He dismissed me finally. 

"Sure, boss." I saluted, relief flooding my veins. Claire was outside, waiting patiently. Her eyes bulging out of her skull when she saw my happy face. I just nodded at her and moved to work leaving bad news to him.