Light and Darkness

 A bitter, metallic taste hit the roof of my mouth. My body shivered, as the delicate fingers of a cold chill crept up the full length of my spine. I noticed the small, white puffs of smoke reaching out ahead of me in unison with my shallow, quick breaths. Of one thing, I’m absolutely certain, someone else is in this store with me. I was so sure that I was alone. “Who else would be stupid enough to brave a record breaking snowstorm?” I thought, smugly. After all, the drifts were beginning to pile up, many houses were already covered up to the bottom of their window ledges. Had I not lived right next door to the place, and spent many winter breaks with my well-to-do college friends, hunkered down in mountain getaway cabins, I myself wouldn’t have been able to make the trek.

I instinctively, crouched behind the tall white rack closest to me. It was filled to the brim with the types of sugary snacks that I’d seen parents offer up as bribes, to placate fussy children during temper tantrums. My own mother was guilty of it, at least, where my bratty step sister was concerned. “Focus,” I quietly, snarked to myself.

The odd presence in the room, seemed to be vying for all the oxygen that the little store had to offer, which made my head feel a tad fuzzy. I heard a small shuffle at the end of the isle. My heart, thrumming at a speed of which only a rock and roll drummer might hope to keep pace. I wanted to cry out to see if someone was there, but my incapacitated mouth wouldn’t form the question. I deliberated what to do next. “I should arm myself with something.” Too bad, I’d thrown the can of pepper spray dad had bought me for Christmas in the kitchen drawer rather than, putting it in my purse as he’d requested. My eyes quickly canvased the immediate area. “What shall I do, wield a box of snack cakes? Blitz my would be attacker with Fudge Rounds and Cosmic Brownies? I couldn’t stay in this suspended state forever. “It's important to be assertive.” I reminded myself of Dr. Braden's advice from our most recent session. I quietly unzipped the leather wallet that I’d brought along. I had intended to leave, Ms. Goodkin the appropriate amount of money for my grocery raid. She was a kind, round woman with a soft spoken voice which reminded me of my favorite grade school teacher, Ms.Greenly. “Please be there.” I pleaded, to the universe. I shoved my fumbling fingertips deep into the side pocket. “Yes!” I sighed, the smallest bit of relief. A nail file that I’d thankfully, slid into the little pocket, more than a week ago.

Tiptoeing like a delinquent teen sneaking out to attend a forbidden party, I crept down the isle toward the muffled sound. Somewhere between, the Twinkies and the Star Crunch Bars, I decided to take a bum rush approach. I counted in my head, “1..2..3!” I sped forward from the end cap and proceeded to pounce like a hungry lion, whailing like a mythical banshee, and brandishing my nail file, as though, I were the most proficient of samurai warriors ever to have lived. At least, that’s what I imagined I looked like in my own head.

"Nothing." I puzzled aloud, and stared blankly at the empty space from the point I'd convinced myself that the maniac would spring. At my feet, I heard the muffled sound, again. Peering up at me with a most inquisitive look was...a baby? The little wicker basket was churning with a thick layer of writhing blue blanket. I knelt down to the child who was now flapping all its limbs, in excitement. A note, pinned securely to the basket read only, “Lucem ac Tenebras.” I crooked my head sideways much like an inquisitive puppy. "What in the world does that mean?" Well, technically, I know what the words themselves mean, as I'd taken two semesters of Latin, in my long stint at the local girls college, but the contextade no sense. "Light and Darkness" The phrase rolled over and over in my brain like perpetually lapping waves grabbing at the shoreline.

I looked past the hand scrawled note, and my gaze landed on the little figure before me. Was it just the heightened senses of fear causing me to imagine things or did this childs skin look off, somehow? I pulled the tangled blanket from the make shift crib to have a better look. His skin...the same rich color as an expensive piece of dark chocolate, once given to me by my Grams. She often took trips to far away destinations, making a point to bring me back a small treasure or treat. Always, given to me in secret for fear of upsetting my monstrous step father. (I wasn't allowed even the smallest of joys under his dictatorship.) The boys skin was hauntingly, beautiful. Dark yet, strangely, illuminated. As if he possessed some sort of internal night light, casting an ever so soft glow from the inside out.

His eyes, just as astonishing. The left, matching perfectly, an ice blue topaz, set in the ring my Gram is saving for me, upon her passing. Quite a striking contrast, against the deep color of his face. The right, a warm shade of amber which reminds me of the delicious honey collected from numerous bee hives, my Uncle Don kept on his farm, before pneumonia claimed him 2 years ago. As a child, I often found myself at the chain link fence which separated my house from the neighbors. There was a friendly, Siberian Husky of whom I grown particularly fond, which had eyes very similar to the little boy before me, now.

I tucked the soft blanket around him, making sure that his chubby arms were secured underneath. I picked up the basket and made my way to the baby supplies. The wall of formula was overwhelming. I have no children of my own. No nieces or nephews. I looked at him and back at the formula. "I certainly can't leave you here" I said, as I made a grab for the nearest formula container. I proceeded to pick out a pack of diapers (I had to guess at the size) and a blue bottle with white sailboats printed around the outside. "Not bad" I thought to myself, proud of my choices. I dropped the money on the counter for Ms. Goodkin and made my way to the front of her little store.

I peered through the plate glass and noticed that my path was already covered with at least, two inches of fresh snow. The sun was near setting. I pulled my coat tightly to me and made ready to face what I knew would be a bitter greeting from the blustery wind. Baby and groceries in tow, I pulled on the cold, metal handle.

The air hit us with a bone chilling blast. I struggled-bused out of the door way, bumping my elbow hard against the metal frame. I gritted my teeth, preventing the deluge of curse words, currently dammed up against the inner rim of my lips. The soft, cold powder offered only slight resistance to my snow boots. In the distance, was that...howling? I pressed forward, quickening my steps at the thought. "Neighborhood dogs." I decided. In the haze of that thought, my footing slipped, nearly, sending me and my precious cargo, crashing ass over elbows. I managed to right myself, at the last possible moment. The year of gymnastics lessons my mother had insisted on, and that I had loathed, finally proved useful. Another howl echoed on the wind. Definitely, closer that time. "Hurry" a phantom voice, pleaded in my head. I could just barely make out the faint glow of my back porch light, in the whirling snow. I was nearly there, now. I did my best to make haste in the blinding flurries. Finally, I was greeted by the familiar wooden railing of my screened-in porch. A howl rang out so close, the hair on the back of my neck prickled. It's in the parking lot of Ms. Goodkin's store. I shoved the key in the lock so hard I thought for sure it'd broken off. I turned the handle and heaved the door open, ran through and slammed it closed with my foot. I quickly, but carefully, unloaded my arms and cranked the deadbolt to the locked position. I let out a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived...