Allergy.

Work was hard today. Not that it's been much better any other day these past few years. Every day seems to be getting worse and worse.

I don't think I could ever move on form her death. I don't think I will ever be able to forget her sweet smile or her warm touch. She gave me life once, only to take it with her when she was gone. Jolene was the only real reason I had some self worth. The only thing in my life I was proud of. And she died. She was killed off, like she didn't matter to the universe. She was killed off, like some sort of side character in a horror movie. Jolene would never be a side character. She would never be anything other than the spotlight. Yet she left, so easily, so quickly.

Now what's left in me? Nothing but rusty bolts and a rotting heart. Every little hint of love was drained and replaced with hatred. Hatred for this world, for the mortality that made it possible for her to disappear.

I walked towards the fridge and grabbed a beer. I noticed the cookies on the top shelf of the fridge. They were chocolate chip.

Wow, I almost forgot.

I poured some milk in a cup and placed some cookies on a plastic plate. I then took them on a platter and walked carefully towards the basement. I opened the door and started going down the stairs, each step making me even more anxious. I descended the last few steps slowly in fear I might wake her up.

"Dad!", a cheery voice exclaimed.

Her smile looked so much like her mother's, I couldn't bear to look at her face.

"Hey, bunny!" I said in forced excitement. "Brought you a snack!"

I gave her the platter and she almost shrieked from excitement. She loves cookies. She always did. She's just a kid after all.

I turned my back to leave again but she grabbed on my jacket.

"Can you stay a bit longer today?" she asked. "I've been a little lonely."

I really didn't want to. As much as it kills me, my love for my daughter is outweighed by my grief for my wife. I could barely stand to look at her face. But... it was her sixth birthday. A special occasion.

"Sure, bunny!" I tried to reassure her with a smile. "Only for a bit though, okay?"

She nodded.

I nodded.

We stayed silent,

"Will it hurt if the sun touches me?" she asked.

"I've told you this before, the sun will take you away, like mommy."

I paused.

"You'll be gone, just like that."

The silence was restored again. She ate a cookie. Her chewing slowed down.

"If the sun touches me, will my hair fall off, like mommy's?"

I didn't respond.

"How come you don't have the allergy mom had? Why did it have to be me who got it?"

She started tearing up. I inhaled. Then exhaled, with a slight tremble.

"We've talked about this, bunny. Mom is gone so her sun allergy was passed onto you. I have to keep you down here so you're safe. I don't know if your hair will fall off, and it doesn't matter even if it would. You will never have to go through it. I will make sure of it. You will never see the light of the sun."

I felt slightly sick in the stomach. What kind of monster am I becoming?

I got up and made my way towards the stairs. By this point, Daisy was sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't face the sight.

"I'll bring you a TV. Maybe a private tutor as well. I'll try to be decent, so please... shut up already!"

I quickly covered my mouth with the palm of my hand. I lost my temper again. I ran up the stairs and shut the door.

I can't take this anymore.

"How many years have you lived down here?", he asked me.

He was a frail old man. I was quite surprised by the fact that father had agreed to hire a man. After the incident with the last male tutor, two years ago, I thought he's never take that risk again.

He was disgusting, that previous tutor. He thought he could convince me what he did was normal, as if I don't use the internet, as if I can't realize when something is dodgy.

This new guy seemed pretty earnest. "It's been around ten years."

Clouds of pity started to gather around his face. "It's fine, though! I have an allergy, so there's not much I can do anyways."

He frowned, making his wrinkles even more intense.

I hate wrinkles. They are signs of time. I hate time as well. I read somewhere on the internet that time is money. I never thought so. Time is torture. We created it so that we can describe the things that happen between the beginning and the end. "At the 4th minute of the play the main character is introduced" or "After one week from now you will take another lesson in French". But what happens when time can describe nothing but itself? What happens when no character is introduced, when you don't know when or if you're going to take those damn French lessons? I'll tell you what happens. Time becomes torture. Every second just defines another tick or another tock.

The wrinkled man rubbed his forehead and started his lesson. It was Biology, after all. Not French.

He blabbered about bacteria and some DNA strands they have, but he suddenly stopped talking and stared at me.

"What kind of allergy do you have?"

"A sun allergy."

Silence.

He asked me to follow him.

I laughed.

"Are you trying to kill me, or what? Didn't you hear me? I have an allergy.A deadly one. If I see the sun I will lose my hair and die."

I didn't know whether I should be scared or take it as a joke. The man got up and headed towards the stairs. My heart started racing.

"Are you serious? I'll die! Do you want me to die?"

I panicked. Of course, I didn't have to go with him. But, for some reason, I really wanted to. I couldn't control my legs.

I ran up the stairs after him.

I saw my father for the first time in years.

Once he saw my face he started manically yelling at me.

"Jolene, how could you leave me, why would you die without me?"

My tutor ran towards him and tried to calm him down. Father grabbed a vase from the kitchen table, though, and smashed it on his head.

Wrinkles-man pointed at the door and passed out.

Not knowing what to do, I started running towards the door. I held the knob for a while, unsure and scared. My father ran towards me with a kitchen knife in his hand.

What do I even have to lose at this point?

I opened the door, the sunlight blinding me. It was beautiful.

My father fell onto me, yelling "Take me with you", then proceeding to stab himself with the knife. I held onto his bleeding body. I knew I had to start crying, I knew I had to feel something. That was my first taste of freedom. I looked around. I saw a car, a tree and many other houses. I didn't see any people out there. Just the blinding sunlight.

I got up, placing dad on the concrete.

Guess you were the one who was allergic to the sun after all...

After a few breaths of the cold, fresh air, I decided I had to go back in my own small world. I'd just go and wait for a tutor or a main to come. Listen to the tick-tock of the clock.

What else could I do?