6 comments

Drama Fiction Mystery

"Do you have any idea who might've broken into your bakery sir?"

A detective asks the baker as he accidentally steps on a cookie that was lying on the floor.


"No, I have no idea! People in this town love my baked goods I don't know who would do this to me!"


"Anything, in particular, missing from your bakery sir?"

As the baker starts to speak he suddenly remembered he left something very vital in the bakery.


He runs into the kitchen & begins to make a mess as he searches for something particular.


The detective runs after him and asks "Sir what are you looking for?"


"My secret ingredient!"

"Huh?"

"My secret ingredient is missing!"


"What secret ingredient?" The detective asks so confusingly.


"There's this secret ingredient that I put in all of my baked goods! & now it's gone!"

The baker begins to cry very loudly & uncontrollably.


"If it's anything that I can help to replace the specific ingredient that you put in your baked goods let me know sir"


The baker walks closer to the detective & says "No! You don't understand it isn't just something that I can buy from the store! It was a family ingredient that my family has been using for centuries! This can not be replaced!"


"I'm sorry this happened to you sir but I have to go back to the station & put this report in so that we can catch who did this to your bakery."


"Fine"


"You should go home & get some rest, my partner & I has this under control"

As the baker walks down the street he sobs until he opens the door to his home.


Here's a backstory about the baker's life.

His name is Elliot Sukely. He came from a family of bakers, his grandfather opened up the sukely bakery 40 years ago!

Nobody in the family but his grandfather knew the tools that made the secret ingredient. His grandfather refused to tell his family what was in the special ingredient. He would always say it's a secret ingredient that no one must know but I! His grandfather would keep this secret ingredient in a jar while being locked away in a safe.

when Elliott's grandfather passed away he left the bakery for his son which is Elliot's father. He had told Elliot's father that he was now in charge of keeping the secret ingredient locked away from others!

Elliot's father did the same thing for his son when he passed! He left Elliot the bakery to own & in charge of the secret ingredient.


now that the secret ingredient has been stolen out of the bakery it was Elliot's duty to find it!

The next day in town Elliot had stopped by the police station to see if the police had found any evidence of the burglar.


The police simply had told Elliot that they were no evidence at this time but that they will continue to work on the report.


Elliot then went to "Mighty Meatballs" an Italian restaurant across the street from Elliots bakery to speak to Chef portal to see if she had seen anything last night.



"Oh, I'm so sorry Elliot, I don't know who could've done that! We were pretty busy last night so we weren't focused on the bakery"


" it's fine its just that the secret ingredient that I make with my baked goods are gone missing & I must find it because it was a family ingredient"


" Oh, I know exactly how you feel! My grandpa had a secret ingredient that he would put in his meatballs! No one ever knew what that special ingredient was because he dropped dead before he could tell us!"


"Oh but you see this is much different my grandfather would keep this ingredient locked away in a safe!"


"A safe? Wow! Well, do you know anyone who could've known about this secret ingredient?"


"I don't know I was always told that only the owner of the bakery should know about the ingredient."


"I could ask around town for you if you like Elliot?"


" No I'm in the process of doing that myself, but thank you so much, chef!"


"No problem Elliot I hope whoever did this to you goes down in shreds!!!"



after he left the restaurant the next place he visited was "Bobs Doughnuts!"

Bob's Doughnuts was just a few mins away from his bakery.


"Buddy, I'm sorry that happened to you, is the bakery ok?" Bob said while putting powered doughnuts into a bag for a customer.


"The bakery is fine it was just a few pastries on the floor but there's something very important from my bakery that was stolen & I must find who did it"


" Whoa, Elliot that's a dangerous route that you are destined to take! Why not just leave it up to the police I'm sure they know what they are doing!"


"This is a special family ingredient that I must find! "


"But how are you going to find who did it if you don't have any clues that lead up to the person?"


"Uh?!"

"Here Elliot take a doughnut home & rest your mind, leave this up to the police! Alright buddy"


Elliot takes the doughnut that Bob had given him & started to take small bites of it while walking down the street.


Elliot comes across a park where he sees Lola! Lola is the flower lady who owns the flower shop down the road.


"Hello, Elliot how do you do?" She says while handing Elliot a red rose that was tucked behind her ear.


"I'm not doing too well Lola a burglar broke into my bakery & stole something very important of mine"


"Oh no! When did this happen?"


" late last night"


"I'm sorry Elliot I wish I could help but I don't know what happened last night I was sound asleep"


"I suppose you were Lola. It's fine maybe I should leave it up to the police after all"


Lola rubs my shoulder gently & said

farewell.


Back at the police station, the detectives are still trying to investigate what had happened at Elliots bakery.


"I just can't put my finger on it"

One of the detectives says while talking to the other detectives.


"I asked people around town & no one knows anything, I think we should report to the bakery & tell the baker we did the best that we could"


meanwhile, Elliot goes to his bakery to check again to see if the secret ingredient is there.

when suddenly he gets a visitor from an unfamiliar face.


"Hello there Elliot"

The voice came from a man.


Elliot nervously responded "Who are you? & how did you get into my bakery?!"


"I am Oswald! I am an old friend of your grandfathers"


"Friend? My grandfather never mentioned you when he was alive"


"We were partners once in a bakery but we stopped being friends because your grandfather stole something so special from me!"


"Stole? My grandfather wasn't known to be a thief"


"He stole a secret ingredient from me opened up his bakery & used my ingredient for all of his baked goods!"


"Secret ingredient? You were the one who invented it? "


"Yes! & I came to tell you that I'm the one who stole it!"


"It was you who stole my grandpa's secret ingredient?"


"No, I stole what was mine, that ingredient did not belong to your grandfather it belonged to me! We were good friends we both opened up a bakery together & he became envious of my baked goods. I told him about my secret ingredient, he stole it & made a living out of it"


"No wonder my grandfather never shared how to make the secret ingredient. But wait if you stole the secret ingredient why didn't you just run away with it & be gone!?"


"Because I felt bad for doing such a thing even though it originally belonged to me! You had nothing to do with what your grandfather had done TO ME! So why should you be the one that has to suffer! So here I shall give it back to you for you to have."


As Oswald hands Elliot the secret ingredient that was placed in a jar. He wished Elliot the best with his bakery & left the bakery with no reappearance.


Shortly after receiving the secret ingredient back. He was so displeased about his grandfather's past choices that he decided to hire Oswald to bake beside him in the bakery.



















December 07, 2020 22:24

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6 comments

Petina Strohmer
18:46 Dec 18, 2020

This is a sweet story (pardon the pun!) with an uplifting ending. A few suggestions: Most importantly, indicate the beginning of the baker's back story with three asterisks rather than an announcement. That will improve the flow. Make sure your tenses are consistent. Don't over-use exclamation marks otherwise they lose their impact. And, finally, I'd LOVE to know what the secret ingredient was. Good luck with your story :)

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Jade Orien🍀
20:18 Dec 18, 2020

Thank you❤

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14:12 Dec 11, 2020

I love all the dialogue! I think the next thing you can work on is to describe your scenes a bit more. I think it would help readers picture where and who your character is Sry I just jumped right into what you can work on :) But I loved the beginning and how you started with the investigating, not the break in or anything. I thought it was really cool. I also think your dialogue is really good (like I said above) I can’t wait to see what you write next!

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Jade Orien🍀
14:16 Dec 11, 2020

Thank you for your feedback it helps me improve. Thanks for liking my story. I have to finish it today lol❤

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Lilah Blackburn
18:16 Dec 09, 2020

I loved your story it was well written. If you have time could you read one of mine and give me some feedback if not it’s totally cool.

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Jade Orien🍀
20:29 Dec 09, 2020

Ok, thank you. Yeah sure ❤

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