Submitted to: Contest #53

Thank you Very much Uncle !

Written in response to: "Write about a few people spending a long-overdue weekend away at a cottage."

General

Thank you Very much Uncle !

Sir will update you about the deal, fingers crossed, hopefully we will crack it…. Varun, cab is waiting, Papa we are getting late……Okay Sir I will see to it… Sir I must board a flight will connect you in 10 minutes…. Rehana…. what’s your problem… can’t you see I am in a call… is it always necessary to teach class I lesson again…. Varun what’s your problem, if you are that busy then why you make any holiday plan. We will love to stay at home. We want your presence at home both physical and mental. Okay…okay Sweetheart! Let’s not spoil our mood…. Jia, baby come on, we are getting late…. Yeh papa, will we have ice-cream in a flight… sure my daughter… love you papa…

Thank God! there is a mandate requirement of keeping phone on flight mode inside the flight…. At least for 3 hours you will be with us, only us…. Now Rehana don’t make me feel guilty. Whatever I am doing, it’s for you and Jia right. Yes Varun, I know, it’s for us, but trust me Varun we are spoiling our precious years. we need you… there is no end to aspirations… Rehana, please already I am tired please no more teaching …. enough for today…

Aw Papa it’s a beautiful place…. You like it baby. I love it Dad…lets go inside…. Yei what a cozy bed…. Jia jumping up and own in full excitement. Varun as usual opened his laptop and started working…

First morning in a cottage…. Varun, look at Uncle aunty… Rehana, stop it, I really wonder when you will get rid of this bad habit of peeking someone. What I am doing Varun, I love to see them together. I can say they are my ideal couple or I wish at-least after your retirement we will be enjoying our time this way only….Rehana trust me you need a psychologist…..after this holiday we will consult one…please find the good one….ha ha so funny.

Varun always had a call at early morning as he was working in a US based MNC therefore to cope-up with time difference between India and US, he had to start his day bit early…

Goodbye everyone. it was nice talking to you. Varun hung up the call… while he was on his way to cottage. He saw old couple again… having great chit chat together with great laughter. Varun couldn’t stop himself and went towards those love birds. Hello Mam, Hello Sir. Hey young man! Done with your call… how do you know sir. I always see you busy in call …. Oh yes sir. my clients are mainly US based and my day starts this way only…okay I understand gentleman … I have been through all this before my own retirement…Uncle aunty… oops! sorry sir, can I call you uncle aunty… sure my dear, we will love to hear that… thanks uncle… My wife has become a big fan of yours… you are like an ideal couple for her and she wants to meet you…. Oh, sounds good, an “ideal couple”. Why don’t you and your wife come to our cottage and we all have a dinner together. That a wonderful idea uncle! … yes, we will surely come.

Hey sweetheart, let’s go to meet your ideals… yes, I am very excited to meet them… Jia come baby. yes, papa coming…. Jia is always excited and when it comes to press the bell button, she has no control on her excitement. jia stop it … Welcome welcome…. Who is this sweet little princess…? I am jia and I am in class I… sorry I pressed that bell button no issues Jia. You make us remember our own daughter she behaved the same when she was yours age and see now with those activities, she is a pilot… wow uncle … does she fly high in sky… yes she flies aeroplane very high…. Okay jia… no more question now…. Else whole night will get over and her talks will not end…

Woo! Uncle Aunty you made a great arrangement of barbeque…. Aunty and Rehana got busy in their chit chat and serving barbeque… meanwhile Varun got the time to spend with uncle… So, Uncle from where you are, we are from busy city Mumbai… oh great! But I will name Mumbai as “city of dreams”. No wonder Varun when I was yours age, I also called it “city of dreams”. But with passing of years and years, thought process and perceptions gets changed. Okay uncle. Do you come often to this place? Yes, after my retirement, we plan trips like this almost every month… Oh that great uncle! …

Varun, you know when I saw you in morning attending your official calls, you make me remember of mine younger days… I was also very much passionate towards my job like you…. Very busy… got lots of appreciation in my whole career… I retired as senior VP. when people see me, they see me like their ideal… but trust me Varun I am according to me is the unluckiest person. What are you saying Uncle… the career you served, It’s like a dream career for any young aspirator? You are like a role model for anyone, why you say this unlucky word…. You know, Varun, I spent all my years before my retirement in fulfilling dreams of my company where I used to work… attending late night meeting… attending official call early morning… I was 24 × 7 available for my office… but family missed me… I had all sort of facilities, money for my family… but my family didn’t have my presence in any happy and sad situation…you know we are great in prioritizing everything when it comes to our organization we work. But we lack in prioritizing the necessity of life… In our young time we give priority to our organization where we work… 2nd priority to our family and at last to our own health. But it should be other way round… then only you and your family can enjoy happy satisfied life…. Uncle, it seems that there are so many regrets in your life…. Yes of course… great regret. You know Varun, Last year August month was the month of my retirement. I was very relaxed and had so many plans. I was thinking, I have earned that much for my family I can now spend quality time with my family… I was at my dream stage and suddenly message pinged in my phone… it was a message from hospital that my reports are uploaded. I turned on my laptop… and viewed my reports… Reports were not good… I rushed to the Hospital and discussed my reports with the doctor… doctor told me that I am suffering from stage 4 blood cancer… Varun I shattered that day my all dream destroyed… I was left with regrets and only regrets…. What I did to myself… when I got bit stable after that 1000-volt shock, I asked doctor how much time is left for me… doctors said… you have a year more, at most… if chemotherapy starts rt. now your survival can be prolonged. Varun, my experience in healthcare centre made me knew about the chemotherapy worst side-effects. I really don’t want to leave that miserable life…. I knew it, if my family came to know about this news their life will also destroy, and they will start my chemo now… I didn’t share this news with my family. but that day only I felt so sorry for my family, when I had all the time and health, I didn’t treat them well. When I am having all the money for my family, but I am with no time left. Varun trust me, health and family are very precious. I realized it so late and I don’t want to see any young one to spoil his life like me… I am not an ideal but a big lesson to be learnt for every young aspirator. Varun I will be no more after 6 months according to doctors. but I am now satisfied that I started living though very late but at least quality life. When I see happiness on my wife’s face, every smile of her increase my number of breaths. So, Varun, still long journey left for you. Give time to your family…. Your health… these are most precious.

Varun while listening to uncle easily imagined his future… Thank you uncle for opening my eyes. He rushed to reception. Hello mam, we want to extend our stay in this cottage for a week …. Let me check availability Sir… yes sir its available… Great! please book for a week… Also, can you arrange for white lily’s in my room tmrw morning. Sure sir…. Thanks.


Varun, what happened you are still sleeping, didn’t you have your call today…wakeup we must board a flight… already we are late. Bell rings… Good morning Mam! This one’s for you… Good morning Rehana! You ordered it Varun. Thank you so much they are so lovely and beautiful. Listen we are not going anywhere… I have extended the stay. What? Are you alright? Yes, my love, I am alright now. No more question. Get ready let’s have breakfast. Love you Varun… after seeing happiness on Rehana’s face…Varun said Thank you very much Uncle for the great lesson. God bless you with happy long life.!



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Posted Aug 07, 2020
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5 likes 6 comments

18:33 Aug 13, 2020

I agree with the last comment. We're all here to improve and sharing your work is a big step to doing that, so well done. I like the names in the story, very foreign and lovely.

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Gurpreet Kaur
08:57 Aug 14, 2020

Thanks for taking out your time to read this story and also sharing your opinion. Comments are really helpful. Especially for beginners like me, these comments provide motivation to write more and improve more. Thank you very much again.

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16:21 Aug 16, 2020

You're welcome, dear. As writers, the least we can do is support each other.

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Vinci Lam
17:55 Aug 11, 2020

Hi, this is a nice story almost entirely told in dialogue (which is impressive!), but I'm a bit taken away from it because of the presentation. I'm thinking that this was an intentional writing format that you chose to not use quotation marks. The characters do tend to use each others' names and titles a lot, which avoids confusion, and generally works very well because of the cultural perspective, but even so, I'm a little confused when the narration comes in.

I think you could explore script writing and have this reformatted that way, and it'll look cleaner and clearer but maintain the character and style you're trying to convey with minimal narration. Great submission!

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Gurpreet Kaur
18:05 Aug 11, 2020

Thank you very much for the response. I really appreciate it. I am very new to this field. Lots of things to be learnt and your suggestions are heartly welcomed.

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Vinci Lam
19:06 Aug 11, 2020

No worries! We're all here to improve together! Thanks for sharing your work.

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