As they grow

Harland could hardly believe how fast his family was growing. He could believe how old he was getting, though. He could feel it, wearing on him when he had to deal with the youth who always thought they knew "the right way/place/choice" ad nauseam. He'd been that way once. Not so long ago, truly, even if it felt like halfway through forever ago.

He remembered when his first child was born, Tesla. She is so like her mom. Curious, stubborn, willful. All those good things that build character. He loved that about her. And as much as she may look like her mother, she was his daddy's girl, in all the important ways. If he had to go and fix something around the house or the store, there she was, ready to be his assistant.

She followed his every instruction, learned about the tools he has as well as how to discern which tool is for what. He was really very proud of her. She proved to be able to fix anything after a few years of helping and watching. How quickly she grew! 

Before he knew it, she was almost 7. He thought it funny how in his mind she was eternally a toddler. It was then that the twins were born. It was all his wife could do to keep up with them. It was then that Harland saw his little girl grow more maternal to her new siblings. She really could do anything, he often thought to himself. 

He would come home from work and see Tes using her "fixit" skills, as she called it, to repair a toy for her little brother and sister. Or he would see her lovingly doting on them with hugs and games. Eventually, he saw her cooking for them, making sure they had their lunch for school, and always keeping a keen eye on them. 

When Tesla turned 15, the twins were about to turn 8. Where did that time go, Harland was apt to lament. But if time sweeping by is his biggest complaint with the world right now, then he considered himself very fortunate. Sure, all families have moments where they disagree, bicker, or just plain scream at each other. But in the end, theirs was a house built on love. And for that, he was deeply grateful.

He and Les had bought their home a year before they had Tesla. He took a moment to count back. Sixteen years already. Great, Tes is going to expect a car soon. She's going to be driving soon! These thoughts often lead him to a fit of giggles. The sheer horror of fatherhood was both hilarious and frightening. Maybe this is a level of love only a parent can truly grasp. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the teen drivers! He let out a loud burst of laughter at the last thought.

"Dad? Are you ok," Tes asked as she came into his study. "Are you writing Dad jokes? Please say no." That just made him laugh all the more. "No, just having parental thoughts. Don't ask. You'll be here one day and you'll know exactly what I mean." "I bet," Tes said smirking at her silly father. She was sure to make her statement sound condescending, he loved that kind of back and forth. Banter, he called it. Every family has its quirks and in-jokes.

She came over to the "bad student chair" as her mom liked to call the chairs in front of Harlans' desk. They were obscenely big and fluffy, more armchair than office chair. Even now, at 15, Tesla would sink right in. Sometimes she would even pretend it was sucking her in, to her dad's delight. Because then he became "Captain Nimrod!" and he would pretend to save her from the swamp chairs of doom. Tesla wondered how he seemed so youthful, like just one of the kids. 

She had asked him once. He just shrugged and told her that people just tend to get along with other like minds. It's natural and probably best not to dwell on why things are. "It's more important to wonder how," he would tell her often. He found this phrase particularly helpful when his brood was very young and at the stage where the only question they felt was necessary was the dreaded squeals of "WHY?!" He called it his distraction tactic then, but it somehow became akin to his very own personal mantra. 

How? This one simple word seems to ask so much more than why. To Harland, 'How' seemed far more haunting to his inquisitive nature. How did I get so lucky? How did I manage to get Alessandra to marry me? How did we have such a happy family? How did we find a way to 'live the dream'?

When he would wax these philosophies passed Les, she would usually stop, hug him then tell him two honest words. "Hard work." At that moment, they were grateful together. He loved those moments, too. But he knew. He knew there was much more to it than that. Sure, they lived a modest yet comfortable life. But there's a synchronicity in the world if you know how to find it. That was their real secret.

Even as a teenager, Tes spent most of her time with her Dad. On school breaks, she came to work with him in the book store. She would help with the maintenance, stock shelves, and sort books as they came in. Eventually, he taught her the POS (he had a nickname for it when it crashed, but generally POS stands for Point of Service). She started to help customers find genres without having to be asked to be helpful, as one normally expects from a teen. As he watched her learn his business, he grew more and more proud with each passing day. At least he knew someone who would want this place if it survives this oncoming digital era. That was a comfort to him. 

At sixteen, he noticed her blushing while helping some of the customers. She was starting to notice people her age. As sad as it may be, he knew this day would come. It's ok, he thought to himself, it's just the cycle of life. She's a smart girl. So, against his emotional drive, he made himself a promise to allow her to grow into whomever she needs to become. His job was to be supportive. Like anything else, it gets easier with time. 

Tes started to join clubs after school. She tried theatre, hated it. Good, he thought. Find out now before you have to find a way to survive in such a rough business. He was her Dad, he could think any stupid, protective thought he wanted. 

He had a hard time processing how quickly she became 17. Their birthdays were a day apart. They were both Leo's. He was the second while she was the third. They would joke about how it was just natural succession, a play on Darwin's Natural Selection.

All year long they would plan outrageous birthday adventures. By the time their birthdays rolled around again, they had a list with more than 100 silly things they swore they were going to do. Every year, Les booked a family dinner at their favorite restaurant, the Iron Buttery. It was like a renaissance fair meets a sit-down dinner with a stadium full of strangers.

The family would pile into the car as Harland and Tes would gleefully pretend to guess which adventure from their list mom was taking them on. Meanwhile, the twins plugged into the iPad, pretending they could hear nothing else. Without fail, Har and Tes would feign being beyond surprised to wind up at "Only the best restaurant in the UNIVERSE!"

Just as they had every year before, they always had a wonderful evening filled with quirky period-specific trinkets, lots of weird wanna-be old English phrases, poor accents, and a joyful stuffing of the immense dinner that was served.

It was almost October when Les came home, clearly excited. She called everyone into the living room. After they gathered and quieted down, Les stood before her little tribe, trying to pick the perfect selection of words. They needed to feel the excitement she felt. She took a deep breath.

"Now, I have to tell you all something, but I want everyone to take a night to sleep on what I have to say before you really react. I'm asking you all to let it sink in, okay?" She waited for each of them to nod. One by one, each with a puzzled expression, they waited eagerly to hear what she had to say.

"I've been offered the opportunity of a lifetime! I should say we've been offered something truly unheard of. But just so you know, before I say yes to anything, Dad and I are going to have to discuss this ourselves. But how you guys all feel is very important. Okay?" Again, she waited for their acknowledgment. She took another deep breath.

"Our team at work has been disbanded," she began. Immediately she saw the alarm on her children's face. They understood the term. Mom just lost her job. "Hey, I'm smiling here, right?" She looked them over as they took that in. They began to visibly relax, but only a little.

"On my way to the car, a colleague approached me. He offered me a position with his team. He said it was technically a controlled environment, but the only rule was that we cannot speak of the things they do there. Specifically the work. It's very experimental laboratories working on all sorts of projects of very sensitive natures." 

They still looked confused. "Well, you should all know, that happened last week. The disbanded project, the offer. I spent this week checking out the facility. And guys, this place is like nothing you've ever seen before! It is truly the most magnificent, groundbreaking laboratory I have ever seen. It comes with a house that the new project will pay for. The new house is a lot bigger than this one. They have school on-site, so no buses. School is from 10 until 3, then the rest of the day is your own."

Harland held up his hand and cleared his throat. "Some of us do have responsibilities, Les." She nodded and was about to say something when Tesla stood up, looking from her mom to her dad as if they just gave birth to kittens from their ears. Sure the love was there, but so was the complete surprise. She yelled, "Yeah mom, what about OUR store?! That's a family business! That's OUR business," she was pointing from herself to Har. "Honey," her mom said with sadness as Tes stormed from the room. "It's okay, Les, like you said, we'll have to discuss this more," he said as he got up and went after Tes.

Tes never did hear the end of her mother's "new beginnings" speech. For the first time she could recall, this was the worst news ever. "Tes, wait, hold up," her dad said as he ran up to her. "How is this all right," she squealed like a murder victim. It made his blood run cold. "That's an octave no dad wants to ever hear, Tes." He pulled her into a hug. She struggled for half a second before hugging back fiercely. She whimpered into his sweater, "but the store dad, our store..."

"I promise, we'll figure it out. The store isn't for you to worry about. I promise to make sure you can go whenever you like. Okay," he gently put her at an arm's length and looked imploringly into her eyes. At that moment, she knew they were going. Something inside told her without a doubt. She didn't have a choice. Furious, without another word, she gave him a look that could curdle milk then ran to her room and slammed the door. 

Aside from school and the store, she never left her room until the moving day. On October 24th, they would leave their family home. On the 25th, they would be in someone else's home, pretending it was theirs. By Christmas, everyone here will have forgotten about her. She would never have a chance with Landon now. All this she kept inside as she moped away the last few weeks she had in the space she had created throughout her entire life. "The store," she sighed. Maybe she could still see Landon there. Maybe. She just felt hopeless.

Every night, Harland would stand outside his daughter's door, listening to either crying or complete silence for as long as his heart could stand. His heart broke with her, for her. If only she would let them explain, he would say to Les before bed. "Once we get there, we won't have to explain," she would remind him. As daunting as Pawlmoor Estates may be, it was also new and exciting. So, Har permitted himself to be miserable until this whole sorted move was over. In the meantime, he could only hope for the best.