Not the family you choose; It is meant to be.

We do not get to choose our family, and not all of us are fortunate enough to have family. Then there are those family members we have and love, but are not close to . Then there are those whom you are related to due to your significant other. Sometimes those relatives end up being some of your close family members. Through out the time I have been with my children’s father, my mother-in-law and I have become very close. At this point in my life I would not want to go through life with out her she is very important just as my own mother. At first, his mom was not my biggest fan at all, she thought I was just this little hoe, but that changed later.

 In the beginning of our relationship I motivated my husband to spend time with his family doing activities. So we would always go see them at least one day of the weekend to hang out. I would get to know his sister, mom, and stepdad. It was very important to me that they liked me, because their son, brother, and stepson is the man whom I truly love. I knew this was the man I wanted to be with and have children with, I knew we would make beautiful, smart, and strong children. We all lived in the same area, and we moved to our second apartment together myself and my boyfriend, a nice one bedroom studio, with hardwood floors, and a sunroom on the front, it was lovely.

 After sometime my mans stepdad was going through somethings that put the whole family and extra people they had living with them out of a home? Well we could not let my man’s baby sister go without and school was going on too, she could not miss that. We let six people move in a one bedroom studio, we made it work. Yes, there was some drama we made it work til we could not anymore by that point his stepdad got them a place with his new job on the farm. I guess you can say this was the move toward the separation. When he was given the home and a job I guess he thought he was a gift to women, he had always thought that way, he begin cheating.

 After a few years of them living out on the farm we actually needed a place to stay, so they let us come for a little bit. It was not long that with all there stuff they had going on we had to go, and we went to my mothers. Things continued for some years with her hurting from him cheating, and in that time my mother-in-law became a grandmother to my first son. Eventually, she got tired of his shit she tried to make a move herself but it did not work great. She came back and he moved her out into this shit whole of a place just to get her away from him. We joined her in getting a place next to her, and I had both my children by this time.

 As things transitioned to mom being single and us living near her, things begin to get better for her. She was left with nothing no way to pay her daughter and no child support, food stamps or nothing. She had been a stay at home mom up until that time, so no source of income. In that time with all her traumatic happenings and mine as well we shared the emotional stress and turmoil that it put on each of us. No ones life is perfect and it is hard to go through things in life without someone whom you can trust to lean on or go through the hard times with you. So though we are not family we have went through so many hard things in the years we have known one another, we have became family. I most definitely consider her another mother in my life and glad to have her there. Anytime she needs me she contacts me right away no hesitation, because we still look out for one another today.

 After more than 20 years myself and my mother-in-law have an amazing bond that is strong as an oak. Anytime she needs someone to lean on, automatic she calls. In all these years there has been so much more that we have went through as a family, and normally one each others side. I will always be there for my mother-in-law no matter what and her for me as well. Our friendship and bond was not expected as I said she did not like me so much, but we grew to love one another and provide support.

 In our time together as family we also have experienced death with one another me loosing my father and my uncle. She lost my uncle as well, cause my mother-in-law and him had a great relationship. Then her and my man loosing his grandmother and her mother, it was a very hard time for them. It was traumatic for my mother-in-law loosing her mother. I was there to support her as much as I could as well as my man. In all these happenings in life people who thought they would not get along have became some of the most dearest and close family and friends. I would not change this for the world and the family I have though I did not choose, it was meant to be.  Now we do not go through out the day with out contacting one another to see how one another's day has been her and I. My mother-in-law and I talk about everything from everyday life to just random things we see in magazines or the internet. We like to go out to lunch together or even just to grocery shop. Ill go to her house just to sit to watch T.V. with her. We have really became close to one another over the years after all this traumatic experiences we have went through together. So 24 years is a long time at this point we are family the things we have went through, like I said it is meant to be.