Fast Space Dirt

‘Nova. Of Latin origin, meaning ‘a new star’.’ Bea read out, her face shining under the light of her phone as she scrolled through the search results.

‘Welcome to having an astronomer as a father…’ Nova replied from beside her, staring up at the glowing stars above which had become so familiar to her. ‘What’s your name mean?’

Bea typed quickly and scanned the page. ‘’Derived from Latin, she who brings happiness.’ Is that true?’ She asked, poking Nova playfully.

‘I guess I’ll have to say yes then, since you’re right here…’ Nova teased. Bea stuck her tongue out and turned off the phone, plunging them into darkness. As their eyes readjusted, the stars seemed to glitter even brighter.

‘It’s magical, isn’t it? All these phenomenons, beautiful things in nature that we can’t even understand.’ Bea mused.

Nova shrugged. ‘It’s just science.’

Bea rolled her eyes.

‘It’s magical though, to see I mean. Like lightning and the northern lights and shooting stars. You know, I’ve never actually seen a shooting star in person. They’re always seeing them in films…’ Bea trailed off.

‘I always wanted to as a kid,’ Nova recalled, as if it was a distant memory.  

‘Don’t you now?’

‘They’re not even stars. It’s just debris in space moving so fast it causes friction with the air particles, creating heat which converts into light.’ Nova spurted matter-of-factly. ‘Fast space dirt. Why would I want to see it?’

Bea laughed at her friend’s rigidity. ‘Still,’ she pressed. ‘It’s a phenomenon’

‘Well, either way, you’re never gonna see a shooting star here…’ Nova stated, reaching out to flick on the lamp, illuminating the room and breaking the illusion. The yellow electric light highlighted how worn and faded the star stickers were against the black ceiling of her room.

‘I put these up with my dad,’ she murmured. They had spent hours recreating her favourite constellations. Lost in the memory, she smiled subconsciously.

‘Do you miss him?’ Bea asked tentatively.

‘What would be the point in that? It won’t bring him back to life, will it?’

~~~

Sunlight streamed through the window, casting a warm square onto the duvet.

Bea held Nova’s hand still in her lap as she applied another layer of Infinite Shine nail polish. Nova stared out, beyond the rooftops, into the mellow, turquoise sky.

‘Hey, why don’t you come to the club fair with me at school tomorrow?’ Bea suggested, snapping Nova’s attention back into the room.

‘Why?’ She asked blankly.

‘I don’t know, to try something fun! To find some new friends!’

‘No.’ Nova replied resolutely, taking her hand back and blowing on her shimmering nails. ‘Everyone at school is just superficial. There’s so many people but they’re all the same.’

‘Am I superficial?’ Bea wondered aloud, her pitch rising with uncertainty and a hint of offense.

‘No! And anyway, since I have you, why would I need anyone else? Besides, it’s high school. In a year school will end and everyone will move away. No point making friends with people who are all going to move on with their lives and grow apart in a few months anyway.’ Nova concluded.

‘Come on, Nova. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life with these people, it’s just to have fun now! Why does it matter if you don’t know them in a year? It’s not a reason to live miserably on your own!’ Bea exclaimed, exasperated.

‘That’s exactly why. Why waste time, invest in people who aren’t even planning on sticking around?’

Bea rolled her eyes and took Nova’s other hand to resume her nail painting.

~~~

Nova tossed her jacket on the floor and collapsed onto the bed as Bea closed the door behind them.

‘It was just a party, was it really that bad?’ Bea questioned, feeling almost guilty about all but forcing her friend to go.

‘Yes. It was.’

‘What about that guy you were talking to? He looked like he was having a good time. Didn’t you like him?’ Bea pressed.

‘No.’

‘Come on Nova! You judge people so fast! And you give up on them way too easily.’

‘I think I talked to him for more than long enough…’ Nova overruled.

‘Well, what was wrong with him?’ Bea pushed. Nova stuck out her bottom lip in thought.

‘He prefers Cheetos to Doritos. That’s not normal. The things basically only come in one flavour.’

Bea glared at her and she raised her hands in self defence.

‘Fine... Ummm… He was also annoyingly jovial. You know I hate that.’

‘Not everyone can be a gloomy as you, Nova.’

Nova kicked her friends leg playfully, earning a yelp as Bea danced out of the way before jumping onto the bed and sitting on Nova’s feet to trap them. Nova stuck her tongue out but halted the attack.

‘Why are you so desperate for me to talk to people anyway, it’s not like you’re going anywhere!’ Nova grumbled.

Bea glanced away at the wall, then the ceiling.

‘Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you!’ She remembered suddenly. ‘I was looking it up and did you know, you’re supposed to be able to see a shooting star every 10 to 15 minutes. You have to look for them. They’re most visible in darkness and only visible for seconds.’

‘I guess that’s why I keep missing them,’ Nova replied dryly.

Bea opened her mouth to speak but hesitated. Instead she just shrugged and shook the thought away.  

~~~

Nova burst through the door and slammed it shut behind her. Blood racing, she sunk to the floor, barring the door from being opened. Bea pounded on it persistently.

‘Nova, please! Let me in! Just let me talk to you!’

Nova felt a scream rising in her throat but all she could do was press her hands to her face and choke back a sob.

‘Nova! I’m sorry, okay, but what am I supposed to do! I can’t stop my family moving, it’s not up to me!’ Bea cried.

Nova’s hands curled into tight fists and her jaw clenched. Her heart thundered and pulsed furiously, so loud she couldn’t even think.

‘I trusted you. I trusted you not to leave me!’ She yelled through the door. She grabbed the first thing she could fine - a shoe – from beside her and hurled it across the room where it sent a dozen ornaments clattering and smashing to the floor.

‘Did you ever think,’ Bea began, struggling to control her shaking voice. ‘Maybe it’s all your own fault? The reason you’ve never seen a shooting star, the reason you never have any friends, it’s not that they leave, it’s you that never sticks around long enough to give anything a chance!’

Nova’s mouth dropped open but the words burned up before they could spill out. Footsteps sped down the hallway and disappeared. Bea was gone. She was alone.

~~~

‘Nova. Come on.’ Bea begged from where she perched at the end of the bed. ‘We’re friends. That’s fact. We’ve been there for each other for years haven’t we?’

Nova looked away resolutely. She glared up at the ceiling, counting the stars to distract herself as she blinked furiously.

‘Me moving away doesn’t erase any of that. We had so many great times; we had so much fun and did so many things. And even if I knew all those years ago that I was going to have to leave, I wouldn’t have changed a thing! Everything ends eventually; it doesn’t mean we have to suffer our whole lives just waiting for it to be over!’

‘What’s the point in investing in something you know is going to fail?’ Nova asked bleakly, her voice uneven and low, the results of holding back tears.

‘Well, just answer me this. Knowing now that I’m leaving, would you rather have not been friends with me at all? Would you rather have just been alone the whole time because you didn’t trust anyone to stay around?’ Bea challenged.

‘No…’ Nova admitted in scarcely more than a whisper. Bea signed hopelessly. Nova’s gaze dropped from the ceiling to her best friends face and the tears plummeted to her cheeks. Bea bit her lip in an attempt to keep her expression neutral but seeing Nova’s tears fall, she couldn’t help her own face from crumpling. She crawled over the bed to envelop Nova in a hug, as much to comfort herself as the other girl.

They had sat in this room, started up at those stars, countless times before but it would never be like that again.

‘It’s okay, you know.’ Bea spoke up finally, forcing her voice to sounds strong. ‘It’s alright to miss me. To miss him.’

Nova followed Bea’s glance to the framed photo of a younger Nova in the arms of her father, the glass cracked after the anger only days before.

‘But… missing him hurts so much more…’ Nova breathed, as if confessing a crime. There was a moment of deliberating silence. ’You’re right though. I wouldn’t trade the time I had with him no matter how painful it gets.’

Bea nodded. ‘I’m really so sorry you know. I don’t care about leaving school, the town, but I begged my parents to let us stay because I hated having to do this to you.’

‘It’s okay.’ Nova laughed bitterly. ‘I know your life can’t revolve around me…’

‘Hey, does this mean you’ll try to make some other friends now? Give someone a chance?’

Well you have to do something for too me then.’ Nova replied thoughtfully. She jumped up and grabbed Bea’s hand, pulling the taller girl after her. Bea frowned but followed her out the house without protest. They ran through alleys of biting wind until they reached the park and Nova lay back, flat on the grass, staring up into the inky blackness for the first time since she was a child. Bea looked at her for a bewildered moment before lying down beside her.

‘So?’ Bea prompted. Nova smiled mischievously.

‘You can’t leave until we see a shooting star.’ She proclaimed.

Bea laughed and shook her head before offering a hand.

‘Deal?’ she asked. Nova glanced up at the glinting stars, far away from each other, and from her, but still emitting a comforting warmth. Finally, she turned back to Bea, accepting her mock business handshake.

‘Deal.’