The giant Banyan.

Submitted into Contest #50 in response to: Write a story about a summer afternoon spent in a treehouse.... view prompt

6 comments

General

Sun went down the horizon, dusk was falling rapidly like his mommy was calling. A cold breeze was a relaxation after sweating the entire day. Alexa came running to me; a lively and cheerful girl just surpassed the eighteen.

We met after ten years; she bought along with her - a burst of sunshine after sunset. Suddenly, the wind felt it was coming from Antarctica, and the Moon was smiling on my surprised face. I could barely speak; her sudden arrival filled a flurry of excitement within me and left me utterly bereft of speech. That evening would be mundane like always, but she came, so bring the back the euphoric, lovely, and romantic Moon in my life.

“Have you stumbled upon me, Mac?” She said with a wink, along with a sharp, twitched smile over her pinky pink lips like cherries.

“You look beautiful, so how I couldn’t? How are you, Ale?” I asked with a calm gaze.

“Good! I came to you; I thought you will be going to hug me in excitement, don’t you?” she said childishly, as she used to do ten years ago.

She didn’t change; her innocence would abet me to do anything. I jumped over her and ardently hugged her - it felt like all my years of melancholy had washed away; it felt like she is mine. But, I was afraid that if my lilting heartbeats could reveal my secrets.

She was ten then, and I was twelve when she left me. She cried for me; I cried for her and eventually, she never turned back to see me. 

“You never missed me, ain’t you?” I asked her.

“Why am I here? I missed you every single day. But... Umm... I think... I will never miss your pot-belly; take it in dude, you look like thirty-years-old uncle Ben,” she giggled. 

“But... I will miss your specs forever; you look cute than ever, but I am worried—you become so thin, are you dieting?” I asked.

“I’m fit,” she sulked.

“Are you?” I jibed on her with a sarcastic smile. Her inner kid thrived back, “I am going. You’re mocking me,” she said, molding her lip down as sad emojis do.

I again hugged her, “I am sorry, honey. I love to tease you; you know it, right?” I utter.

“I know,” she said and eavesdropped my rising and falling heartbeats with her ears on my chest like disco-beats.

“Where will be you going to take me tomorrow?” she asked like she was keeping honey in her mouth.

“Where do you want to go?” I asked.

“Can we go to the tulip garden? Do you remember where we were playing, hide & seek? You were seeking me; when you tired after looking me, you thought I have lost, and you started crying like a toddler,” she said, pleased with the sweet fragrance of the old-splendid memory.

“Oh! Common! Alexa. Don’t embarrass me. Tell me how you felt when you had fallen from the swing?” I asked her with a wink like tit-for-tat.

She covered her face with her palm, “don’t remind me? It was embarrassing. I will regret it forever. You told me that swing has broken. I thought you are kidding and mooting. It was your fault too; you always talked absurd, and when you were serious, yet I think you are jesting.”

“You’re such an epitome of stubbornness,” I said with a sharp-ironic smile.

“This is the way I had been made,” she said and burst in a hilarious laugh. The valley filled with her exuberance and her cheerfulness. 

---

“Where are we going, Mac? Open my eyes, I think you are kidnapping me,” she said, sniffing.

“Am I?” I asked like I took her joke seriously, but not really—I knew she was joking.

“No. Now open my eyes. Please. Let me see my childhood again.”

“Hang on, you didn’t change - you are the same, and your solicitude reminding me of the toddler Alexa,” I said. “Here we go. Are you ready for the surprise?”

“From millennia,” she said.

I opened her blindfold. Her jaw dropped. She jumped and hugged me in excitement. Her gratitude not stopping, “Oh! Wow! Mac… Thank You! Thank You so much… it is such a lovely house. Can we go in there?”

“My pleasure! I made this tree-house for you. I knew my friend will come someday looking for me; I must have a beautiful gift to welcome her. I hadn’t enough money to buy her a precious gift. So, I made this little house for her,” I told her with my feeling carved on my face.

“A million-dollar gift couldn’t value this precious and contriving gift. I love you!” she said in chuff. “Is this the same banyan tree; my mom used to say that tree is witchy, miserable, and brings bad fortune? You broke your leg twice after falling from here.”

“Yes… She was threatening us. Look, this tree today brings zestful happiness for you, isn’t it?” I told her.

“Yeah! Cut the crap. I couldn’t wait. Let’s go in my roundpiggymousypinksweet, and spongy friend,” she hissed with a broad grin, her teeth were sparkling as the lady in the toothpaste advertisement and subtly she pulled my both cheeks.

“Aww! It hurts,” I faked.

She burst in laughter in adore of my kiddish behavior.

She ascended on the wooden-stairways. She was highly excited as she stumbled over stairs many times; she couldn’t care about her steps. I held her from behind, so she did not fall.

She unlocked the door. It opened like the enigmatic-box of happiness. She had almost jumped in excitement. Her childish behavior stormed the house, she looked at everything; I had collected our memories of childhood.

“This toy doctor-tool, do you remember Mac, how much you had cried? When I injected you with this toy syringe. This doll… you had pulled her hair out - to make mustache for your male-doll. And eventually, your male-doll abandoned my pretty doll because she was no more beautiful since her hair had fallen. Look how lonely she looks? She murdered her family to save your male-doll, but your male-doll is merciless - he didn’t understand her boundless love,” she said as everything happened for real and her eyes filled with warm tears.

I nodded with a broad smile of unfeigned emotions. Tears were almost deluged my eyes.

“Oh, Wow! This sword had saved me from the dinosaurs that day. You saved me. In return, I made jalapeno pizza for you on this toy-pan you burned your mouth,” she said and laughed amorously. “Childhood was fun indeed, today all this game is looking lame, what it was veritably fun, isn’t it?”

“Yeah! Alexa,” I said. “I remember every second; we had spent together. Every game we had played. Every war we had fought. You were my best companion, forever. When you left America, I was completely alone and bereft of companionship. I missed you every moment. I just hope, if you would stay with me forever,” I said. I couldn’t able to resist my tears. It came out and splattered around.

She hugged me hard as nobody ever did to me. She had sobbed loudly. Her tears were festooned with gratitude, grief, and pity, and finally, it festooned my shirt.

“Thank You! Mac for everything.”

A warm summer breeze wafted from the surface of the lake and intermingled with the aroma of the banyan tree where our tranquil past exists came to us and electrified us. I wiped her tears. She smiled calmly, twitched fugitively like the beauty of the evening sun.

I cradled my hands over her shoulders and took her to the window. The wind was roaring their euphoria and searching their lost love; the sun was lying low. She again surprised, seeing the lake. She sighed, “I know around this lake the war of love happened - of my doll and your male-doll. Also, you had promised me. I will bring your prince charming someday, around this lake; where is he?” she asked playfully.

My heart started sinking; she didn’t understand; she was already with her prince; if I could tell her, I pleaded to Jesus. But it was the right time, the right moment, the right weather and the right place to say, I love you.

“Alexa, I want to tell you something, I am afraid to say,” I told her.

“Yes, Mac,” she said.

“I… L..” I was about to speak. She jumped out of her place; a fear covered her face. She withered in the extreme-fear and turned pale.

“Mac, a Python, lurking above behind that twig of leaves, look it is coming towards us,” she saw through the crevices on the roof and said in haste.

“Oh shit! Sh… Sh…” I said. She was tearing and quivering of fear. If anything happens to her, it will curse me forever, I thought within. 

I am blessed with equanimity, and to protect my love; it exaggerated. We absconder slowly with pressed feet - out of the house, and slowly ran farther away from the tree, near the lake. She was gasping badly to collect enough air; I hugged her calmly to suck her anxiety. Within a minute, the giant python wrapped our house of millions of memories, and it collapsed.

She felt bad for her house. Her sweat was going inside her eyes before I wiped it with my fingers. I was still wrapped my arm around her shoulder as python did the house. 

“My memories?” she said and cried badly. My acumen told me it is the best time to say.

“Give me a chance. Your prince will make billions of memories for you, if you wanted to remind those memories, you have to take re-birth,” I said with a calm in voice, love in my eyes, with virality, “I Love You, Alexa.”

The volume of her tears had increased. She hugged me ardently, “I love you too,” said with a crying voice.

“So here, I had completed my promise. You got your prince, around this lake,” I said. We both giggled in euphoria.

July 17, 2020 09:09

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6 comments

Ciaran O'Neill
11:11 Jul 21, 2020

Your characters are captivating and upbeat. Your writing has a positive sense of hope throughout, a total lack of cynicism which is very refreshing. I made a few notes of things that I think could made it even better - let me know if you would like me to post them.

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11:32 Jul 21, 2020

Thank You, Anthony; you gave your time for this feedback, I am glad you read it. :D Yes, please. I want you to post those things you noted down. Thank You!

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Ciaran O'Neill
14:18 Jul 22, 2020

No problem at all. Just a few pieces of guidance really: in the opening there is a heavy use of italics which aren't necessary. Italics over-guide the reader, where the piece should speak for itself. I think they only work if you use them sparingly. I would also caution over-using dialogue tags, such as 'she said crying badly'. It breaks the readers immersion if you use them to much, and again can over-guide them. Try letting the dialogue flow instead with limited and simple tags that just tell us who is speaking.

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18:23 Jul 22, 2020

Woah! you gave so important tip, thank you so much. I will take care for it next time. I'm glad, this is the best feedback I ever got. Thank you, Anthony. :D

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Nancy Drayce
17:27 Jul 19, 2020

Lovely story! I loved it! Just keep writing💜✨

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18:11 Jul 19, 2020

Thank You, Nancy..😍

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