SHOULD I SUFFER OR DIFFER?

 SHOULD I SUFFER OR DIFFER? 

It was around 11 pm and Avinash wasn’t home and was at work, while Bhumi was talking to one of her best friends on the phone alongside crying and sobbing. And 5-year-old Raghav was sleeping in his room.

Bhumi said. “I can’t handle Avinash’s bad behavior anymore.”

Avantika said, “Explain it to me more clearly.”

So she starts explaining to her what’s going on. She said that Avinash is a very bad husband and father. Every day he tells me to do things like he is the king and I am his servant. One thing he did was that he tells me to call his mom EVERY DAY on the phone because they live in India, every single day I have to go to work doesn’t matter if there is snow or thunder, he hates my parents and treats them very unkindly, and always wants to go back to our home country India without any reason even though it's very risky during these times. This has been going on for almost years now. 

He doesn’t take care of Raghav too, he drinks alcohol in front of him and sometimes smokes. He is starting to become a very bad influence on him. 

Avantika says, “Well then why don’t you talk to him about this, and maybe he can do better.”

Bhumi says, “I’ve tried to talk to him about this a lot of times, but he never listens, anyways how many times should I say he has been like this for years.”

Avantika says, “Then why don’t you call it an end.”

Bhumi said shockingly, “Are you crazy, you know this would be a very big problem in our whole family!”

Avantika says, “Well then if you don’t then are you gonna keep stretching the issue?” “At some point, this needs to end!” 

A divorce is a very big thing from at least the family I am from. It's said that a lady has to do everything her husband says and has to bear all the humiliation and bad behaviors their husbands show them. We have to stick to them no matter what even if they’re alcoholic or abusing.

Honestly, I completely disagree with this statement but we will see how this goes. 

Avantika sighed and said, “Alright well you know you have to be strong and stubborn don’t let him tell you what to do.”

Bhumi said, “Alright.” 

During the few months Bhumi does the usual, She calls her mother-in-law every day after she returns from her work even though she is all worn out. 

One day it kind of got out of the limit. It was late January and it was snowing Bhumi was about to leave Dunkin donuts (that’s where she works). But Avinash forced her to work even in this snow. Bhumi angrily said to him on the phone that if it starts to snow a lot, she can stay there for the whole night and the reason why she could stay there all night was that it was 24 hours Dunkin donuts. Bhumi was angry and furious that her own husband would wanna say that to her. What are those two extra dollars gonna even benefit for?

She calls Avantika from Dunkin donuts. 

Avantika goes, “Why did you have to listen to him!’”

“I told you last time you weren’t supposed to do that!” 

Bhumi then said angrily, “I wanted to give him the experience of what’s it like not having a wife at home and now he has to do everything by himself because usually, I would have to do everything for him.” My mother-in-law has taught his son nothing. He can’t even write checks or bills, his mother has told him I would have to do everything for him, he just has to work and make money. I have to cook food for him, write all the checks, take care of legal work, and have to take care of my house, my job, and my son Raghav.  

Honestly, that was definitely a lot of work, and plus Raghav has online classes so there is a lot of work from his end too. 

Bhumi and Avantika continue talking. Bhumi tells everything to Avanitka almost everything she was more family to her than a friend and they would always call each other.

You are probably wondering why this is such a big deal so let me explain more clearly. I and Avinash argued a few years ago too in front of our parents wasn’t just an argument it was a big one, kind of got physical too. My parents live with me and Avinash and his parents so it's kind of like a joint family. That’s where some problems started but the thing is Avinash’s parents themselves have allowed my parents to live with us even though my parents said no. 

The second main issue is that I and Avinash had a love marriage so we got married without our parents’ permission which adds another reason why our relationship is unstable. They are still mad at us and have not forgotten the past. This marriage had been unstable for almost 7 years. 

The third main issue. I and Avinash had a big corralling, fight, and argument for him being an ALCOHOLIC. He drank so much that we had to take him to the hospital to get treatment and the doctors say if he doesn't stop he is going to lose his kidneys or maybe even die. I forced him to go to India to get the right treatment so he wouldn’t damage his kidneys because he still has a 5-year-old son. 

Because I made this so big of an issue that adds up to why his parents hate me. They didn't like that I yelled at their son like this and argued and corralled, but what I did was for his own good. 

Avinash did end up going to India and getting the treatment and he did stop drinking for a long time. But all of that was a waste, he has started to DRINK AGAIN. (This time I am not stopping him.)

There are so many other reasons why our relationship is so unstable. So that’s the backstory that adds more fuel to what’s happening in our lives now. 

You are also probably wondering why we haven’t gone our separate ways it's because we can’t. If I leave where I am going to take my family and Raghav. Society is gonna judge crazily, yes that still happens to this day maybe not in the US but in India. We can’t really separate our ways or at least for now. Every time I decide something everybody in my family stops my decision because of the family I come from. The divorce doesn’t just affect the husband and wife but also the whole entire family. I really hope this explains more clearly.

After a few months, it definitely got worse. Avinash comes up and asks if he can go to India even during these times even though it’s really risky to travel globally.  Bhumi was angry and said that he can do whatever he wants to, it's not my fault if something happens to him. She also said that you can go back to working on amazon or working at the old gas station and you can go whenever you want don’t ask for my permission. Avinash just found a better job for himself in the amazon company and he just started going there, he can't resign, but if that’s what he wants to do.

That same night Bhumi calls Avantika and tells her what happened. 

 Avantika very calmly says, “Look let him do whatever he wants, even if it includes risking his health and job,” “Because now things between you and him have gotten worse.” “So if he wants to go back to India even during this pandemic, let him and he’ll learn his lesson.” It’s a big deal because he goes to India EVERY YEAR!

Bhumi said angrily, “I guess so, I will let him do whatever he wants.” “If he thinks that the family over there in India is better than me, then he can live there if he wants to.” 

Few months passed, Avinash doesn’t really go to India, he just asks for permission. Because even he knows it’s risky but he still asks. And he says if he does go, he will arrange money for Bhumi and Raghav so they don’t starve. She told Ankita that and she said that it's a good thing he isn’t gonna let you starve and who cares let him go to India if he wants to and it won’t be your fault if anything happens to him. 

I just started ignoring him after that. 

Months went by and I have been ignoring Avinash for a long time. It's not like the complete silent treatment but I just don’t talk to him. Sadly things are getting worse and Avantika said she was going out of town for some time. 

Avinash has been very rude to parents these days. Has been drinking a little too much and the worst part is Raghav has seen everything. 

It was like 12:01 pm in the night. Avinash was downstairs drinking again. Raghav was sleeping with me. 

Avinash starts shouting, screaming and starts cussing for my parents, me, and even Raghav. My parents were downstairs sleeping but woke up and came running outside and I ran downstairs leaving Raghav upstairs in the room. Avinash comes and points at me and just starts blowing cuss words at me. I tell my mom to go to Raghav’s room because Raghav has always been my number one priority.

My dad is just standing trying to calm everybody down, but Avinash shuts him up. For almost two hours there is constant cursing and cussing and a lot of verbal assault. I never thought Avinash had this much hatred for me and my whole family. He was not in shape, he was saying all of this when he was fully drunk. He tried to throw things at me but I wasn’t just standing and bearing all of this pain. I also blew up with cuss words and argued. Verbally assaulted him, I didn't let him go this easy this time. I did my best to defend myself. 

Raghav was in the room understanding what was going on. I felt bad that he had to see all of this at a very young age. 

Avinash after just went down and couldn’t do anything. You are probably wondering what he was yelling and shouting and saying cuss words for right? 

He was saying that I have made his life miserable, that I’ve stolen his freedom from him, that I am not letting him go to our home country, and that I am not letting him drink. The reason why I am not letting him drink is that he is already endangered and he will ruin his kidneys more by drinking more. 

The reason why I have stayed with him for so long was that if I divorce, I would not know where to go, we have a house, and we still have to pay money because we have it as an installment plan. So then if I leave him where would I, Raghav, and my parents live? Also, because I’m worried about Raghav’s future too. 

In the very early morning, I text my manager that I am not coming to work. 

Around 1 pm,  Avinash comes up to me and says sorry for what he did.

I was like yeah alright. Avinash says, “I didn’t mean anything that I said that last night please forgive me.” 

Bhumi in a serious tone says, “We’ll see how this goes.”

I went to my room and shut the door. 

I am in my room and my mom keeps coming upstairs and checking up on me if I am alright. Raghav is in his online classes. 

It was around 2 pm. Raghav has finished his online class. 

He comes up to me and says, “We don’t have to do this anymore.” “I don’t like my father.” 

Honestly, speaking that’s the best thing I’ve heard. I was really scared about Raghav’s future but now I know leaving this man would be the best idea for Raghav’s future and myself. 

After a few weeks, I called Avantika. 

I tell everything that has happened from the beginning to the end. 

Her reaction was like “OHH MY GOSH,” “What has this man been up to.”

I tell her that I finally want a divorce and I don’t care what the community and the world say. Because this is the best decision I have ever made. 

Avantika has very good connections with lawyers and she helped me find one. 

While things at my house are going bad and it's kind of like that terror and horror feeling. In a few days, I talked to my parents about the divorce and they said that do whatever you can to make yourself happy. 

Then after few weeks, I talk to Avinash about this and he is like, “No you can’t do that!” 

I  said, “I’ve had enough of your verbal assault and bad behavior. I wanna just end this now.” 

He does get up and tries to slap me but I stop him and tell him we can do this the easy or the hard. 

He says, “You will starve off.” 

I say, “We’ll see how that goes.”

Avinash says, “Alright if you want this to happen then I guess we can go our separate ways.”

Bhumi said, “It's not going to be me who is going to starve.” 

Avinash smirks. 

In a few weeks, Avantika ends up finding a lawyer for Bhumi. 

On Thursday Bhumi discussed her case with her lawyer and took Avantika with her. 

The lawyer says, “Avinash has a lot of arrogance he thinks we won’t go to jail for what he did to you.’’

Lawyer continues... 

“He can go to jail for the verbal assault he did to you.”

“And don’t worry you won’t starve because the law is way stricter than he thinks.” 

Bhumi interrupts and asks “Can I ask for alimony?”

“Yes, he will also pay for child support because he earns more money than you but if that’s what you want.”

Bhumi says, “Well yes I definitely would want that.”

Now they are meeting and have been dismissed. 

And as they are standing up the lawyer reassures that everything is going to be alright. 

In a few months, the court date comes and both sides of the lawyers fight and argue why their client is right. 

Honestly, I don’t even know how Avinash found a lawyer. 

After a few months passed. The court decides to go in the favor of Bhumi. 

The court orders that the divorce must be granted and that Mr. Avanish would be going to jail for two and half years for the way he tortured and verbally assaulted Ms. Bhumi. He will also have to pay for child support. His kid Raghav will be living with his mother because of his dad’s alcoholic and tortuous behavior. 

After a few weeks, Raghav gets to see his father for the last time and says a sad goodbye because after all, he is his father. 

I am glad that now I, Raghav, and my parents can begin a whole new life. Oh, and a big thanks goes to Avantika for helping in my bad times without her all of this might not have been possible. 

My family and I still live in the same house. It's just that all the legal work and papers have been transferred to my name, no more Avinash. 

I am glad I get to start a new life and so does Raghav. His future was the one that I was most worried about but I think he is fine, the bad memories will fade away. 

Oh, and Avinash’s parents are currently living in India so they didn't have a lot of say in the divorce even though they were yelling at Avinash for what he did to me. But it was only because they wanted to look good in the society and the community but they did hate me since the day I and Avinash got married. They were also scolding me through the phone but I acted like a rock. I didn’t let anybody change my mind. 

They are in India and probably are facing a lot of humiliation from the neighbors, the community, and society. Because when a divorce happens people start talking like fire spreading in a room. Also because nobody knew that Avinash was an alcoholic and did some bad things and verbally assaulted his wife. So right now both Avinash’s parents and himself are facing a lot of humiliation. 

To this day divorce is still a big thing in my society and everybody judges you. I said in my society it doesn’t happen everywhere in India but some people are still thinking like the old times. But I don’t judge them, we all have our own opinions. 

But the truth is I don’t care, I am happy and that is what I am proud of. I finally get to have a peaceful life. 

Everything in my life is finally calmed and good. One thing I do want to say is never let anything come between you and your happiness and let the community think whatever they want to. You don’t have to bear or suffer without any reason and never have to listen to a man who tortures and makes you feel bad. 

When you leave a man who’s like that you are happier. 

CAUTION - THIS WHOLE ENTIRE STORY IS FICTIONAL FROM THE CHARACTERS TO THE WHOLE PLOT. THIS STORY IS NOT MADE TO HURT ANYBODY’S FEELINGS. IT’S NOT MADE TO OFFEND ANYBODY’S FEELING TOWARD ANYONE. I HOPE U LIKE IT.