Life in the Gallery

(Note: The names of the paintings have been recorded as noted in a book on the National Gallery. Shorter forms have been used as convenience as reference in some paragraphs. The author is not knowledgeable about the stories behind the paintings nor the characters portrayed.) 

It was 6 pm at the National Gallery and the last of the tourists and residents of London were gone. The massive doors closed with a comforting and final thud. Keys were turned and the staff hurried back to their offices to collect coats, hats, and umbrellas to face their treks home or to the pub or to meet somewhere with friends or family. Silence and darkness descended and by 6:30 all was quiet. Peace. No sound. No movement. No light.

Or was there?

Suddenly, it sounded like a piece of wood was splinting and then crackling like the sound of dried canvas. One could hear voices saying things like, “Thank goodness I can move again. I got back into the frame in the oddest position last night and my feet have been killing me all day.” And “Lovely to stretch out, I truly had a cramp and of course we can’t move all day.” “I have been holding this basket of shrimp for hours and I forgot the cloth yesterday, I can’t take another moment.”

What?

Should you have been there and peeped into the gallery, the sight of the characters in the myriad paintings stepping out of their canvases would have staggered you.

Philip IV of Spain in Brown and Silver (Velazquez) had just left his frame and was busy rubbing his feet, “Truly, I have been in pain all day. My feet are so sore. You should try standing up or nearly 500 years and see how you feel.” He did look dashing though but had left his cape and the document he was hold back in the painting. “I will get them later,” he said “but I would really like to have a word with that chap the Duke of Wellington (Goya).” Philip who had ruled Spain during the 30 years war felt they would have stories to share and he moved off toward another part of the gallery.

Strozzi’s Personification of Fame was the lady complaining of the cramp. “I have held that pipe since yesterday and it got caught in my wings. I need a massage and of course no one wants to massage me because of my wings. I don’t know if fame is all its cracked up to be.” However, she stretched and moved about to loosen her muscles and moved down the gallery to work the cricks out, fluttering her wings as she went.

“If I could just find a small fire, I could cook these shrimps and we could have a nice snack,” said Hogarth’s The Shrimp Girl, “I will not be forgetting my cloth to put back over the basket tonight. The shrimp are fresh but really.”

“Pop over to see the ladies in the Kitchen Scene with Christ in the House of Martha and Mary (Velazquez),” said Philip IV as he walked by. They are bound to have a small fire and probably some other things to go with the shrimp. The Shrimp Girl rushed off as she was certain she knew which gallery they were in. Philip continued his search for The Duke.

Food seemed to be on everyone’s mind and it was something of a concern to Jacob with the Flock of Laban (Ribera) as he was particularly fond of the new born lambs in his care and didn’t believe the ewe and ram would be too happy to have their off spring looked at as potential dinner. Jacob secreted the tiny lamb under his jacket and went to find a nice safe corner where he could sit and comfort the tiny creature. Fortunately, its parents had decided to not leave the painting that night. Previous experiences of chasing them through the galleries to get them back into the painting before the magic hour still haunted him.

“Truly,” said Madam to her husband, The Morning Walk (Gainsborough), “I am not sure how we have ended up in what appears to be a cooking show.” This very refined and elegant couple were dressed in beautiful morning stroll clothing. Her hat was exquisite and his jacket with its gold buttons made them the epitome of style. “Happily, Foster (their dog) is still in the painting. I was afraid he would start chasing one of those horses that popped out of The General Sir Banastre Tarleton (Reynolds) like he did last time. We barely got everyone back in time,” she sighed.

However, not everyone was thinking about food but about romance and love and beauty. The musician in La Gamme d’Amour (Watteau) was serenading the woman sitting near him while her mother and sister were caring for a tiny baby and others were seen chatting in the woods. The woman was reading the music score and perhaps was going to sing again. She had tried once before.

“There she is again,” said Madam from the Gainsborough, “All she does is spend the day looking at her reflection in the mirror,” The Toilet of Venus (Velazquez). 

“Well, she does have a lovely back,” said her husband as his wife gave him a sour look.

“Well, at least she is not getting up,” said his wife, “she has no clothes on at all!”

It was clear that Venus had many admirers as the four men in The Four Ages of Man (Le Valentin) were busy standing near her painting, hoping she would turn and give them a smile. 

There was so much activity. So many people. So many concerns. Before anyone realized, the clock struck 5 a.m.

Everyone could suddenly hear a tap, tap of a walking stick as once again, St. Margaret (Zurbaran) started her evening walk through the galleries. Hurrying everyone back to their places. “You know you have to be in place by 6 a.m.,” she said. “Everyone find your painting. You, Shrimp Girl, clean up that plate. Everyone hurry.” 

The clock struck again – 5:45. “Jacob, wake up and take that lamb back to its parents. Philip, it is unlikely you are going to have a chance to talk to the Duke tonight.” St. Margaret was calm but decisive and her word was obeyed by everyone.

Philip got back into his painting and picked up his cape and document and resumed his pose. The men in the Four Ages of Man gave up waiting for Venus and slunk back to their painting, hoping to see her again the next night. The couple realized their Morning Walk was an ongoing experience and reunited with their dog. The ladies in the Kitchen Scene groaned that once again they would be preparing more food the next day. Fame fluttered her wings and held her pipe with greater care in her right hand not catching it in her wings.

The wood in the frames righted itself and the canvases once again became smooth and untouched.

The clock struck 6:00 just as Philip finished rubbing his feet.

The lights came on, just a dim glow as it was early. The guard started his morning walk through the galleries before the doors opened at 8:00. There were many galleries and everything had to be checked. 

As he passed by Fame he felt a sudden tremor, like something was out of place. Wasn’t her pipe supposed to be in her left hand? He paused after he walked by and then turned to go take another look. He was sure it had been in her right hand which was truly confusing but on second glance, the pipe was in her left hand. He must have imagined it. As he turned to go, he didn’t see Fame give a quick wink.

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