Rancour

Content warning: mention of ethnic cleansing, abortion, suicide

She was trying her best to avoid eye contact with the rogue looking man in the train. It was best to avoid such people as such a crowded place would guarantee all sorts of people. She didn't have a choice either as the train was the cheapest mode of transport and a few dollars were all she had left. 

At least  she had a seat  next to the window, where she tried to impersonate  her favorite actress and look out to a world so cruel, maybe there would be a sign. A life well planned out would suddenly just disappear from her very eyes. She was now faced with a nightmare, not knowing what to do or where to start, all she knew was she needed to get away. 

In Kesses village, her father was a renowned businessman, her mother the envy of all the village women. It is said that he was among the very few men who never cheated on his wife and always treated her like a queen, never had he laid his hands on her; something unheard of, and she, a literal princess, was the apple of her father's eye. She had it all - a wealthy father, a happy mother, good grades in school, what more could one possibly ask for? Her father had earned the nickname Mkubwa,  a swahili term we use to describe might, authority or power roughly translating to "the big one." 

Mkubwa owned 150 acres of land, where they kept cattle, grew diverse crops and even housed Akhal-Teke horses-the only of their kind in Kenya. It seemed to us that they were born on silver platters. It seemed like everything was handed to them, every business deal would go through for Mkubwa, Princess, on the other hand, at 17, the smartest in class and most beautiful in the village, having all the young men lose their minds over her, while her mother, the envy of all women, yet the kindest you'll ever meet. She used to attend all fundraisers, some even volunteering to host herself, everyone would use her silverware without discrimination. Hers was a heart of gold. 

As human beings, we normally say there is no perfection in humanity, but these were the epitome of perfection. 

As time went by, one could feel an air of vigilance around our village, one could tell all is not well. 

"These people came here and took our land and are prospering more than us" was the rampant phrase being used. It had started becoming so common, even the little ones at schools had started using these phrases. 

If only Princess had listened earlier, then probably the situation would have been salvaged, if  her mother and Mkubwa had taken these phrases seriously then I still insist the situation would have been reclaimed. The only complication is they thought humanity was different. 

The  31st day of December 2007 would go down in history as the darkest time in Kesses village, and the worst day of Princess' life. The country had gone into an election, and it was clear that the opposition leader was winning; we were going to have another leader. As per the incoming polls, there was no way the sitting president would have surpassed the opposition. Now, in my country, we are known to be very corrupt, but whatever was witnessed on  30th December, was corruption at its highest, for some reason, the sitting president surpassed the leading opponent, and in fact won the elections. To make this even more interesting, he got sworn in on the same day when the elections were announced. All hell broke loose, and the entire village was furious, the president's "people" were now being dubbed as thieves, and the whole community had to pay, therefore promoting all young men in the village to start retaliating. This meant killing everyone who was not from the ethnic group. Of course Mkubwa was not worried about this, because even though he was not from the ethnic group, he had created great rapport with the members, he was loved by everyone in the village , for his generosity, good humor and a general charisma. This was not their day though. 

These memories kept crippling up Princess as she traveled, taking a journey to nowhere, all she knew was she needed to stay as far as possible from Kesses, the one land that she loved and swore by, became a monster in a single night 

After they had dinner, they said their usual prayers and went to bed, though all of them felt off, they were sure it was well. 

A smell of gasoline would be felt a few minutes before the unimaginable happened, all they could hear were chants as the house was set on fire, " Mum! Dad!" Princess would shout as the smoke choked her, no response was heard from their room. Peeping through the window, she saw them, kneeling, looking helpless, as youths beat them up, pouring petrol all over them, Mkubwa tried to plead with them to spare Princess, but no one listened, Mkubwa and his wife were shot dead on this night, in front of their daughter, while their house burned down. Princess screamed, she cried, she sighed, she was helpless as she tried to get away from the strong men who now grabbed her tightly, they assaulted her, one by one, as she lay there, helpless and in pain. Looking around, Princess noticed a familiar face, her boyfriend his name Kurutu, was among these youth, before she could think of calling out his name,  she saw darkness, she knew it was the end. The light was too much, she realised she was still alive, struggling to get up, all she could do was cross her fingers and hope it was all a dream. She felt her throat closing up as tears streamed down her face, the harsh reality was finally kicking in, the events of a night that proved that humanity is the worst species to walk the earth. 

It was already 2008, where for most, a new year meant celebrations, for her it meant she had lost everything she ever loved, her parents, their land, her love for her boyfriend, all she could do was wish she too had died. She found out her neighbor, Mama Rachel, had dragged her from the chaos that night as the youths were setting her parents on fire after shooting them, distracted she took that chance to save her. A manhunt had been launched to hunt Princess down and get rid of her, but her neighbor hid her where no one could guess- the family mausoleum. 

At the crack of dawn, Princess had to leave the village and make sure to stay as anonymous as possible, try finding refuge in her aunt's place in the city. 

Here she was, she hadn't met her relatives in years, wondering where to start. She had no idea where to find them in the first place. All she had was the few dollars given to her by Mama Rachel for transportation and food, all these, while still in serious pain from the assault, physical and sexual, the emotional pain and mental pain of seeing her parents shot to death and burned, she loathed the very day she was born. 

The last stop was Syokimau. Not knowing what to do, she spent the night in the terminal and  the next day she began searching for shelters for orphans. After a week of spending nights in the streets, she finally found a shelter willing to take her in. 

She never opened up about what happened, all she did was follow the news on the television, no one knew who she was or where she was from. After a month, the two opponents finally talked, they had reached a coalition, handshakes were exchanged and power was shared. After more than 10000 people lost their lives while double lost their homes, they became friends again. All these Princess kept to heart, her parents perished for the sake of two people. 

We are two months since the incident, and Princess has not had her menses yet, another heart wrenching discovery for her, she was pregnant. Of course she did not know the father of the child. 

In a cou try where abortion is illegal, that was not a choice for her, so one day she woke up, our dear Princess, she took a dollar from her caretaker's purse and casually went to the shop. 

Princess bought a ratt poison, which the shopkeeper reluctantly gave her, but she had managed to convince her that the shelter had been infested. 

She was so excited. Finally, she was going to be with her parents at last. 

At last, there would be no more pain. Now, the shelter was located near some hills surrounded by a forest, she sat down, facing the sunset, finally, she would be happy, finally, her life would be complete again. 

As she watched the sun set over the horizon, she knew in her heart, she was doing the right thing, she knew she was going to be happy. And happy she was.