Alone

"Are you coming tonight?"

"To where?"

"The birthday party, of course!"

"Ohhhhh, that, yeahhhhh...., Ah, I totally forgot to inform you, you see, something came up and honestly it's been batshit crazy down here, I was planning to call you and tell you but then my mind skipped and I got busy with something else and before you could say Raymond, I totally forgot and..."

"You are not coming, are you?"

"You see, that's the thing, I was really planning to come, I already got my outfit planned and everything and..."

"It's a yes or no question, Alice, are you coming or not?"

"I'm really sorry Brenda, I ..." I started when she hung up on me

I dropped down on my sofa and let out a deep sigh. I slowly looked around my place, my little haven. I snuggled deeper into the sofa and curled my feet under me while reaching forward to grab some popcorn I had delicately placed on the centre table. I stashed all of them in my mouth not minding the crumbs that fell on my clothes. That had been one exhausting phone call and I deserved to be sloppy this time.

In all honesty, I had actually planned to go to the birthday party. From the day I had been informed, I had mentally started putting together my outwear, the problem probably started with the fact that all the plans I had made, was done mentally, and never really manifested physically.

I let out a groan, starting to feel bad about myself, I was starting to lose count of the amount of time I bailed on a friend's invitation, and as much as I hated the thought of it, I was probably starting to look like a bad person. The problem was probably the fact that I found it hard to say no, and this led to me agreeing to do so many things I mostly did not want to do and then bailing at the last minute with a lot of excuses and apologies.

 For example, at this birthday party, I was sure there was going to be a crowd, the celebrant was popular and very much an extrovert so friends and acquaintances were definitely going to be in abundance and I hated crowds so there really was no reason I'd be there. Well, some would say I hated people in general, but well who wouldn't? As opposed to lying in bed alone listening to some soft blues with just your underwear on, and dim lighting, that's peace right there. Inner peace!.

Anyway, at the end of the day, it all boiled down to excuses and disappointments, and I don't even know if it makes me more of a bad person but I always quickly forgot about how I had disappointed one more person immediately I put the phone down and basked in the silence with just the sound of my clock filling the empty hollowness of my house.

Peaceeeee!.

Let's do a quick introduction, by the way, my name is Alice and I'm a bubbling 21-year-old woman. I am currently in my finals in college and this is usually the year when my classmates went all out and acted their wildest before they had to face the real world, and the wildest ranged from loud parties to one night stands to drugs and all whatnot. These things were definitely not my thing in case you didn't get the memo from my intro.

Anyway, Let's go down to a few facts about me. Okay, so first; I hate talking to people. Now a lot of people have given it a lot of names and terms, from shy to timid to introvert, I don't really care, whatever rocks your boat, and whatever works for you. I guess you could consider me shy, well till you tried to bully a friend of mine and maybe afterwards, you might have a change of mind or rather a term. Anyway, the point is, I hate talking to people, however, I could talk for ages. Weird right? I guess you can say it works this way; whenever I enter a new environment or an environment mixed with people I know and don't know, I'd rather keep to myself and observe throughout the whole time I'm there, but whenever I hung out with my friends as a group, oh my, I transformed to the ultimate clown/jester of the group, I could talk for hours, from the silly to the obscene and more often than not, my friends would always stare shocked when I suddenly start talking a mile a minute well till they finally adjust to this side of me. But, I mean what did they expect, all those hours of observation and keeping mute, I sure had a lot to say.

The second fact about me; I forget a lot. Not your normal run of the mill kind of forget like "oh, I forgot the assignment we were supposed to submit today at home" but more like the "I can't remember what we were discussing thirty minutes ago. A lot of people might think of it as an issue or problem, I considered it a blessing of sorts. Yes, there were times when my forgetfulness could be infuriating but there were times when it was extremely helpful too. For example, I can never hold a grudge, one minute I'm huffing and puffing in anger, the next minute, I can't remember what the big deal was all about. It sure took off a whole lot of unnecessary emotions and baggage from my life. Also like I loved to notify my friends, I was a store for secrets, you could share your secrets with me and not fear about it spreading or any sort of repercussion cos the odds are I'll forget it the minute you depart, or not...

Anyway, that's enough about me, so about tonight's birthday party which I had unceremoniously cancelled at the last minute, what had actually happened was this.

So I woke up by 6 this morning like every other morning, not knowing what day it is, and just lay in bed perusing through my phone. I had initially started with my social media, replying to messages I didn't have a chance to reply to before sleeping off and all of that, but then my attention got diverted and the next thing I saw was myself on YouTube. The next time I checked my time, it was already eleven. It was a Saturday morning, I finally realised, the day I did my laundry and cleaned up. I remember jumping up from bed and going about my duties and by the time I was done, it was around 3 p.m. I remember laying on the floor and sleeping off and waking up by 6 due to a call I received. It was my friend Dennis, we were supposed to watch a movie that had just been released together, and that had been three weeks ago. I had kept postponing due to one reason or the other and I could tell he was reaching the end of his patience, he had already complained about how he had to stay off social media so as to avoid spoilers and all, and yesterday I had apparently promised him that we would watch it tonight. And I loved to brag so much about how I don't break my promises, he had been calling to confirm that we were still on for tonight and I had already confirmed in the positive, I mean It was a promise, I couldn't have people thinking they couldn't hold onto my promises too. We had decided that he'd come over to my place around eight as he had already downloaded the movie on his phone and we'd watch it there on his phone. Finally, I had dragged myself up from the floor and went to shower, it was while in the shower that I remembered the birthday party, and I had planned to call Brenda immediately I left the shower and let her know I wouldn't be making it, but apparently, the thought left my head as I left the shower and that was how we ended up here.

I looked at the time, it was almost 8, Dennis should be here anytime now. I slid in some blues into the cassette player and turned down the lighting making the mood very subtle just the way I loved it. I stretched down on the sofa, my arm stretched long enough to access the popcorn on the table, dropping them one after the other in my open mouth. Some minutes later, somehow the duvet was now covering my entire body. So warm, the music, so lilting, the popcorn so nice, just perfect. I could feel my eyes drifting shut. Lazily, I wondered when Dennis would get here and how he'd open the door, I certainly didn't see myself leaving this comfort zone to walk to the door. I finally drifted off, the picture of bliss, and in my dream, I could hear the faint sound of a doorbell, singing in tune with the high pitched voice of Celine Dion, my mouth a mix of sweet and sour. It was perfect. Just perfect.