The Fire of a new Generation

My younger sister died on my fifteenth birthday. Not that it was much of a birthday anyways. After the global nuclear winter had ended and people had started to rebuild, there were very little resources for people to live on; there wasn’t enough to save my sister from a curable bacterial infection much less throw a party for me becoming another year older.

I’ll never forget standing around her bed with the entire family, watching as she arduously took her last breaths. I felt so powerless. We all did. “I wish we could’ve saved her,” my dad said about a hundred times in the next few days. I remember he had pleaded with the Elders, but they said they didn’t have any medicine to spare.  Unfortunately, she’d have to die. “The weak must be left behind so the strong may rebuild the Earth,” they told us time and time again. Even at fifteen I understood it, but I didn’t really like it.

Ten years later things had only marginally improved. People died every month from curable diseases, preventable attacks from wildlife, and silly mishaps. We told ourselves that things were getting better but I couldn’t help but question if they really were.  I had begun to think more and more about how I could help the greater good and really make a difference. Naturally, I went to the Elders.

When I presented to them I did my best to speak from my chest, but I was terrified standing in front of the leaders of the town. It was my first time speaking to them and it was intimidating standing in the middle of their semi-circle, all of them looking down on me like vultures from their elevated stoops. All in all there were twelve of them, most of them in their late seventies. Since they were the oldest, they were assumed to have the most knowledge, and nobody ever questioned their decisions. I didn’t know if they would take me seriously or not, but I knew I had to try. I wanted to help.

“I’d like to speak to you today about ways I can further help our town grow,” I began.  “I have seen many people, my sister included, die because of our dearth of food and medicine. I would like to lead a party to set up a trading post between here and the next town over, to expedite the shipment of valuable resources.” I had thought long and hard about my word choice so as to impress them with my professionalism.  I had even found an old thesaurus and really hoped that ‘dearth’ and ‘expedite’ would make me seem older and thus earn their respect. But they didn’t care. They just saw my young face, full head of hair, and good posture, and they never gave me a chance.

“Young man, we’ve been in control of this town for many years now,” Fred croaked. Fred was the oldest and the de facto ‘leader’ of the group. He waved his arms around in a way that he probably thought looked emphatic, but he ended up looking more like an old turtle on its back. “And we haven’t made a bad decision yet, have we?” The others nodded their agreement. “We’ve grown from ten families to thirty. If we wanted to set up a trading post, we would have already.” Another Elder whom I didn’t know waved me away with her hand. “You’re young, you don’t yet have the wisdom to make decisions. Quit trying to stir up commotion and do something more sensible for someone of your age. Why don’t you go help the group that’s digging the well?”

I was insulted. “I’m not trying to cause a big sensation!” I took a step forward. “I want to help you! If you don’t think I’m ready, then teach me! More people in this town are closer in age to me then they are to you- this town deserves fresh ideas from someone who is going to be here in 20 years!”

Fred stood (albeit a little shakily) and pointed directly at me. “Young man, unless you’d like to be chained up in the town square all day, I advise you to leave now and never attempt to usurp us again. Begone!” he boomed.  I was taken aback at how little thought they gave my proposal, but left in a hurry anyways.

Flustered and angry, I stormed out of town, my thoughts all shouting over each other in my head. I didn’t know where I was going but I wanted to be far away. Who are they to refuse to listen to my suggestion? They didn’t even give me a chance!  They’re too old and blind to see that our town is headed straight for disaster. We’re growing too fast for the meager resources we have- if we don’t make contact with someone outside of our town we’re all going to die, and they don’t care! Suddenly I realized I had walked further than I had ever been, and I turned to look back. Dead trees and dead grass were the main set pieces in the drab landscape that was our town. Everything was devoid of color, just a dismal gray-brown, and the ramshackle wooden structures that were our homes and community spaces added no joy to the picture.

With a deep sigh, I sat down on the nearest rock, but jumped up when I heard a noise. It was faint but seemed like it was very near. My ears led me to the source, but when I found it my eyes couldn’t explain what they saw. It was almost like a small black stone, perfectly rectangular and flat. The noise that came from the stone was also unlike anything I had ever heard. It faintly resembled music, which I knew from the songs my mother and the other women would sometimes sing together.  Except...this music had a feeling to it. There were instruments I didn’t know playing sounds that made my heart beat faster and my legs want to move. I inexplicably found my head nodding to the beat. The song was fast, and a little angry, and I felt like a fire was lit in my chest and it was growing and growing. And I loved it.

Carefully, I grabbed the stone and turned it over. To my surprise, the other side was a bright white, and there were pictures and words displayed across it.  This must be one of those phones people had before the nuclear fallout. I examined the picture displayed on the phone- four men in the most bizarre clothes I had ever seen stood together near what looked like barrels. In red, across the top of the picture, was written The Who and on the bottom in blue was My Generation. I had no idea what any of it meant, but the four men seemed to be looking right at me, right into my soul, as if urging me to listen to what they were singing. The fire in my chest blazed, and I listened.

I spent the whole afternoon listening to the phone, feeling that fire grow and grow. The song would change every 2 or 3 minutes, but the feeling was always the same. It was a feeling of freedom and defiance and action and love. Especially the song that was about “My Generation”. That song made me want to climb a mountain and beat my chest and yell out into the abyss that I was somebody, that like it or not I was going to change the world and no one could stop me. 

Just as the sun was going down, the phone abruptly shut off. I shook it, touched the raised markings on the side, nothing would get the music to come back. I was briefly disappointed, but it didn’t matter because the fire was still in my chest and it was wild and unchecked now. I knew just what I had to do.

I burst back into the Elders’ hut feeling unstoppable. The Elders were just leaving to go to bed, and I caught them entirely by surprise. Good. I had the upper hand.

“You listen here!” I roared. They had clearly never been spoken to this way, and I momentarily wondered if one of them would have a heart attack. “You sit here all day and discuss our future, without caring to ask any of us what we think, yet you’ve never actually worked out with the people. You didn’t help rebuild Tom and Mary’s house when it fell over in that storm. You didn’t help defend us from that pack of wolves. As a matter of fact, I think you cowered in here. My mother even helped that day! So answer me this- why are you twelve governing our lives when you don’t even have a part in it? My voice means as much as yours, maybe even more so. I’m the future of this town, and I demand a say in that future!”

There was a long silence. No matter what the result, I felt like The Who would have been proud of me; I challenged them, I fought for myself, and I demanded to be free.

After a few excruciating moments, Fred sighed and spoke to me in a disappointed tone. “Boy, I get it. You’re young and full of passion. But that’s all you have. You don’t have any knowledge. You’re just a kid. Knowledge comes with age.”

“Age has nothing to do with my ability to lead!” I fired back. “The people out there need to be inspired! They have no hope, and it’s because they don’t have leaders that care about them!”

Suddenly I was grabbed and my arms were pinned behind my back- one of the security guards had been summoned. I struggled, but he held me in a vice-like grip. “We’ve already worked and contributed to this town,” Fred responded with an annoyed edge.  I could tell I was getting on his nerves. “Further, we will not be spoken to that way. Take him outside and chain him up to the wall until he learns to listen to his elders. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take my nightly Penicillin,” he concluded condescendingly.

Hearing him say that hit me like a punch at first.  Then I felt the fire inside me explode. With a herculean effort I wrenched the man’s hands free and charged back at Fred. “What did you say?!” I shouted at him. “Do you have medicine?! Have you had it this whole time?!” Fred didn’t respond, just took out a bottle and gulped down a few pills and turned away. I pointed right at him, but that arm was quickly pinned behind my back again. “You bastard! You could’ve been saving us, but you’ve been keeping yourself alive instead! You’re evil! Cold! I hope I die before I get old, so I never get as selfish and outdated as you!”

The man dragged me into the center of town, and I screamed in desperation. I took that fire that was in my chest and I spewed it like a dragon, hoping to set everything I could see alight with the anger I was feeling. “The Elders are keeping medicine from us, maybe food too! They killed my sister! They don’t care about us, just about themselves! Help! We need to stop them! Before it’s too late!”

I realized I had been bellowing these words with my eyes closed- when I opened them I saw everyone outside on their front porches, watching me get chained up like a crazy person. They probably think I’ve lost my mind, the thought passed through my head and immediately shut me down.  They aren’t listening. They don’t care. The doubt was like a bucket of water that reduced my flame to a low smolder. I lay there, exhausted and defeated, and silently cried myself to sleep.

I was woken up in the morning by a small hand on my shoulder. It was one of the young girls in town, Hannah. “We came for you,” she said. Confused, I blinked my eyes a few times and looked around.

Behind her was the entire town. They all stood and looked at me proudly.  My heart swelled seeing them here. “We know what you did, Roger,” they said. “You stood up for us. You showed you care about us. That means a lot, and we’re going to do the same for you.”  A man walked up with a pair of bolt cutters and freed me. I stood up and looked at them all.

“Thank you,” I said. “Thank you for believing in me.”  

Hannah grabbed my hand. “It’s like my daddy told me this morning!” she yelled enthusiastically. “This is our generation!”