Leaves

Last week, I think it was Thursday, but I can’t be sure, my Dad turned into a tree. I mean this in the literal sense in that he became one. A beautiful tall oak that sits in the wood just over the back fence of our garden.

There’s an old swing there where he used to push me so high that I would almost be fit to puke and only stopping when Mum came out and told us to stop or we’d smash my head open or something.

Anyway, just past that swing is the fence and he now towers on the other side, he’s magnificent to see and is about 100 feet tall I think. I’m not very good at guessing heights of things but I’m only 11 so I don’t feel like this is a thing to worry about , Dad used to say that I didn’t need to think about that sort of thing on account of how my brain works. 

He has a lot of leaves that are bright green and all move in time with the wind like 10,000 little kites all dancing to the same song. His branches are thick and strong which is especially useful because they provide lots of places for me to sit and talk to him in my head about how we can turn him back. I mean I love the tree and I think he loves being a tree but I need my Dad to push me on the swing as Mum has been crying non stop for like a week now and she’s not very strong anyway. She does her best but I can push myself higher just using my legs.

The last time I saw him, when he was man shaped and walking about, he and Mum had been fighting about something, not a big surprise and he’d strode off in to the garden all red faced. He was carrying the axe he used to chop firewood and went through the back gate into the woods. I mean, I’m not allowed in there but he is of course.

A weird thing about that day is that he didn’t say ‘see you later squirt’ which he literally always said. I know a lot of people don’t know how to use the word literally but I’ve used it correctly both times.  So he just walked straight past me with his eyes looking all funny like mine looked when I saw that dog get hit by a car in the street by Mr Jackson's house. He stepped into the wood, went into the darkness and became a tree.

Mum doesn’t know about the tree thing because I haven’t spoken since it happened, I’m not sure why but I just don’t feel like saying anything. I’m not sad or anything I just don’t have things to say at the moment. I wonder, if I never speak again, will I remember what I sounded like? I mean we do have videos of me from when I was born up until it happened, but I think when you get older your voice changes. So maybe one day when I’m like 100 I’ll start speaking again and really shock myself with what I sound like.

So, I was sitting in one of Dad’s low branches just thinking about how I can change him back when I hear Mum calling me. Like I said I’m not supposed to be outside the fence, so I jump down a bit far and land really hard. There are some old rotten branches under Dad on the floor and I kind of land on one and roll my ankle which hurts like crazy and I want to scream but I don’t, I just let the pain build in me from my ankle through my knees up through my body and into my brain where it crashes around like a fly that keeps hitting the window trying to get outside. I just hobble back through the gate before she sees me and pretend like I was just there the whole time.

‘why didn’t you come when I called you?’

She keeps talking to me expecting me to respond which is weird because I have stopped speaking. I just look at her and shrug which I feel is pretty expressive, but she glares at me with eyes like his were that day. I really want to tell her but with the not talking thing and how crazy I know it would sound I decide not to say anything. I think I can fix Dad and stop him from being a tree, I just need a little time to sort it out and then the three of us can be normal again and Mum can stop crying at night.

Dad turned into a tree from being a person so its obvious that if that can happen then he can change back from being a tree into being a person. I just need to find out what happened that day and do it again or maybe do it all backwards and he’ll come through the gate. I hope when he does he remembers being a tree as I want to hear all about it. He must be able to see for miles from up there and the wind must feel so nice when it blows through his leaves.

‘Its time for your appointment, do you remember where we are going today?’

I look at her because of course I remember, she’s been telling me for days that I need to visit a Doctor as they think that me not talking means there is something wrong with me. It doesn't occur to anyone that I just don't feel like it. Plus, if I tell this Doctor about Dad being a tree I’m worried they will think I am crazy, I mean I know it sounds crazy. So, I feel my best course of action is to stay silent.

When the 3 of us used to get in the car I had to sit in the back, so one good thing until Dad comes back is that I get to ride in the front with Mum.

‘Are you feeling OK about seeing Doctor Brown today, is there anything you want to ask me?’

There isn’t so I say nothing, and Mum gets really mad, her eyes go all bulging and her face gets red like my friend Jenny when she runs fast and can’t get enough breath in her mouth. She starts shouting so I try to close my ears by putting my hands over them. I stay like this until she is calming down and we arrive at the hospital.

My Grandfather came to this hospital once and he died inside a little room all by himself. When he was not dead he went to all these places and knew all these things like how to do magic tricks with cards and how to make toasted cheese and jam sandwiches in the frying pan. Then he went in this hospital and now I get two pieces of cold toast stuck together and microwaved for 20 seconds which is absolutely not the same thing. I also tried to do some magic tricks but its difficult and I just end up building little houses out of the cards, that is actually pretty hard too but it’s not magic.

Dr Brown is a woman and I have to sit outside her office while Mum goes inside. There is a reception desk with an old lady behind it who does not look very nice. I hear Mum on the other side of the door and it sounds like she’s crying again within about 30 seconds. I feel so sad for her and I wish there was something I could do to make it better, then I realise that of course there is I just have to get Dad back to normal.

Mum is in there for a long time, I don’t have a watch but I think maybe half an hour and when she opens the door she says;

‘would you like to come and say hello to Gillian?’

Gillian and Dr Brown are the same person. I don’t really want to say about what happens in the little room because I can’t really be sure. I remember lying down and Dr Brown starting to talk to me in a really quiet voice. Its weird she made me lie down because Mum was sitting in a normal chair and I was lying on what looked like a sofa and I had my shoes on which I never get to do at home since I smeared mud all over the new lounge when I forgot to take my shoes off one time.

After that I’m not sure what happened but in the car heading home Mum says I have to go back every week and maybe I’d get to stay in the hospital for a few days.

Is she trying to kill me I wonder? Maybe with Dad as a tree and me with Grandfather she’d be able to do whatever she wanted in the house and turn my room into a cinema or something. I decide that I need to get Dad back quickly and he can sort all this mess out once and for all.

When we get home, I decide that I need to get outside and do everything like I did on that day. I know Mum doesn’t want to kill me but I don’t want her to be tempted. So I run in to the garden and I try to remember.

They had been fighting and I guess me and Mum have been fighting too, not with words but she certainly sounds like it when she tells me I need to ‘Just say something!’

Then Dad got his axe, walked through the gate, didn’t call me squirt and went into the woods. I can’t find the axe, its disappeared, so I hope it isn’t too important. I open the gate, its getting dark now but I need to get this fixed and I don’t think I can wait anymore. I head towards Dad and I lean back and look up at him. The wind starts to blow a little and I start climbing up his low branches, then I go higher and higher. The wind gets stronger and it starts to move the whole of Dad’s trunk and his little branches are swaying a lot. I’m holding on but when I look down it’s a long way, I’m higher than I’ve ever been. Some of the branches are rotten and snap when I grab them then fall to the ground hitting others on the way down. I’m pretty scared but I push on, I’ve got to get Dad back. I put my foot on one big branch to heave myself up to almost the very top. The branch snaps and I feel my hands grasping at air, I’m flapping like I expect to fly and as I fall get whipped in the face by Dad’s branches.

Now I can see for miles. Dad and I can see Mum down below sometimes and I feel a bit sad. I hope she’s going to be OK but the wind feels so nice against all my leaves I don’t think I’ll ever go back.