Subversive Swimming

That night, Mary would receive thirty-one phone calls from her mother. The first came the moment she knocked on the door to Crystal’s house.

For a moment, she stood and waited. From behind the door, there were sounds of cheering, arguing, yelling, and eventually, incoming stomping. The door flew open, the doorknob hitting the wall inside with a loud “thunk”. There stood Crystal, with a neon blue can in one hand and a cigarette in her mouth. She chuckled at the sight of Mary.

“Hey, bitch. Thought you pussied out.”

Mary winced at the language. She took a deep breath, though, reminding herself that normal people talked like this all the time.

Especially Crystal.

“Hilda convinced me to come,” she replied in a monotone, her eyes drifting to Mary’s various substances. “I just hope my mom doesn’t find out.” She reached into her pocket and pressed the “reject call” button.

Crystal blinked, then came to a realization, at which she rolled her eyes. “Well, you and your mom need to loosen the fuck up. Some smoke isn’t gonna kill you.” She took the cigarette out of her mouth for a moment to wave it in a circle in front of Mary’s face. “Isn’t gonna kill me, either.”

A boy walking behind Crystal scoffed. “You’ve got one addiction for every year you got held back, it’s a miracle you’ve made it this far.” He continued walking as if he didn’t notice that Crystal’s head snapped in his direction. Her expression immediately became clouded with rage- whether it was real or playful, Mary couldn’t tell.

“Andrew, you dumb little- get back here!” Crystal stomped after him, leaving Mary alone. As her gaze followed Crystal further into the house, Mary’s eyes landed on a couple sitting on a couch in a dark corner. The man was on the woman’s lap as she held a smoking blunt in one hand and his chin in the other. She whispered something, leaned in for a kiss, and-

“You’re here!”

Mary practically jumped out of her skin at the sound. Her head swiveled to see Hilda approaching her. “Oh, hi.” 

Hilda’s smiling face was contagious, and Mary couldn’t help but beam at the sight of her always-cheery friend. But her smile didn’t last long.

“There’s s’mores and a pool outside, let’s go join the party.” Hilda tilted her head toward the back of the house, causing Mary’s joy to fall like a rock underwater.

“I, um.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t know how to swim.”

Hilda’s smile did not falter, much to Mary’s distress. “I’ll teach you, it’ll be fun!”

“I can’t.” Looking back and forth, Mary leaned in close and whispered to Hilda, “my mom would kill me.”

Hilda gave Mary a sympathetic look, but still grabbed her wrist and started to drag her to the back door. “You can’t let her control you forever. You’re an adult. C’mon,” she insisted as they entered the backyard, “just put your feet in the water. You’ve gone in the bath before, right?”

Mary started to reply, but the shameful answer died in her throat as she looked upon dozens of her peers.

The pool in Crystal’s backyard was big; there must’ve been twenty people in it, but it looked like it could easily fit twenty more. People were splashing each other, playing tag, and playing catch with beach balls. She watched one boy jump off the diving board, which caused her to hold her breath until she watched his head pop up on the surface, his friends cheering for him.

Bzzzzz. Bzzzz. Mary felt her phone vibrating in her pocket and didn’t even have to look to know who it was. She gulped, reaching to answer her phone, when Hilda put a hand on her shoulder.

Mary turned to look at Hilda. Relief washed over her when she saw not a look of pity, but enthusiasm. “Here, let’s practice.” Hilda’s navy blue eyes sparkled with warmth. “You’ve got this.”

Mary’s heart must have stopped.

As if it was the most casual thing in the world, Hilda pulled her pink caftan over her head, letting it fall on the ground. Underneath it, she wore a matching pink two-piece that, while not indecent, exposed much of her freakishly beautiful skin and lean body. Mary focused her gaze on a scar on Hilda’s forehead.

Hilda jumped into the pool, then looked up at Mary, who stood frozen. “Take your shoes off and then sit, right here.” Hilda patted some of the wet pavement by the edge of the pool. “We’re gonna take baby steps, ‘kay?”

Mary nodded, doing as Hilda told her. She sat criss-cross by the edge, glaring at the ever moving surface of the water as it threatened to splash her.

Hilda smiled and tapped Mary’s leg. “Foot.” Mary uncrossed her legs, scooted back a bit, and rested her ankle on the pool’s ledge. Droplets of water splashed the bottom of her feet, and a knot started to form in her stomach. “There, there. I won’t drag you in.” Seeing Mary’s incredulous expression, Hilda giggled. “And I won’t let anyone push you, I promise.”

“If they wanted to, you can’t stop them from where you are,” Mary protested with a fake pout.

“You have a point.” Hilda grabbed Mary’s ankle and inched it closer to the water. “But I would be here to save you.”

Mary chuckled. “Really? I thought the princess was usually the one getting saved,” she said, which caused Hilda to laugh again. It was like music to her ears, unlike the buzzing of her phone she once again heard, felt, and ignored.

She plunged her foot in the water, ankle-deep. The coolness of the water gave her chills for a few seconds before she adjusted to it. She stared at her foot, wiggling her toes and watching how the refraction distorted them. 

Hilda beamed and nodded with approval. “Good. Other one next.”

Submerging her second foot was easier, Mary soon found. She even inched forward until her calves were in the water. Hilda’s hand rested on her knee, becoming the sole focus of Mary’s attention, so much so that she failed to hear Crystal approaching her from behind. 

“We’re gonna play Spin the Unicorn Floatie in five minutes.”

“...What?”

“You’ll see. I’m getting the unicorn floatie now. You better hurry.” Crystal turned and started walking towards a small shed located next to the pool, leaving Mary bewildered.

“Wait, I can’t, I don’t have a swimsuit!”

“Then strip,” Crystal yelled back without even turning around.

Panicked, Mary turned to Hilda. “I don’t know how to swim, and I can’t just- just be in my underwear.”

“Why not? No one’s gonna care. Half of them are drunk already.” Hilda rubbed Mary’s knee reassuringly. “It’s fine if you don’t want to. But if you do, I can hold your hand and stay close to you so you feel safe. We only graduate once. Future you wants you to have fun. I want you to have fun.”

Bzzzz. Bzzzzzzzz.

Hilda tilted her head. “Meet me by the pool’s stairs, I’ll walk you in?”

Crystal started to approach the pool, the unicorn floatie around her waist.

Bzzzz.

“If you say so…” Mary stood up and walked to one of the pool lounge chairs. She set her phone on it, face-down. She watched it buzz for a moment. Like a magnet, she felt herself reaching for her phone. She didn’t look at them, but she could feel the stares of Crystal and Hilda.

With a deep breath, she took off her maxi dress, folded it, and set it on top of her buzzing phone. Cool air hit her skin, giving her goosebumps and causing her to shudder. She looked down at her underwear and frowned.

“Today wasn’t the day not to match,” she muttered to herself. Her bra was red, her underwear green and blue stripes. Her attire covered more than Hilda’s, but she feared that the integrity of the cotton might not be as durable under the water. She crossed her arms over her chest, filled with doubts. 

“Mary,” Hilda called, “are you coming?”

Mary nodded and made her way to the entrance of the pool. The approach felt laborious, like she had cinder blocks on her feet. She clenched her fists and forced herself to breathe, in and out, slow and steady. 

Finally, she was at the top of the stairs that led into the pool. She clenched the handrail as people next to her raced into the water, skipping steps and swimming to the deep end. But Hilda stood patiently at the lowest step, offering a hand to Mary.

“C’mon.”

Not letting go of the handrail, Mary took the offered hand. She took one step into the pool, then another, then another. She felt tense as she watched the fellow partygoers starting to form a circle in the middle of the pool. Mary frowned.

“Hey, look at me.” Hilda squeezed Mary’s hand, despite the fact that Mary held on with a death grip. “It doesn’t matter what they think. You’re being brave.”

Another step, then another, and Mary was waist-deep in the water with only one step to go. She spared a glance at the chair, where her dress was still on top of her phone. The sounds of the people around her would surely be louder than a phone’s vibrations, she thought. But Mary could swear that she heard more and more insistent buzzing.

Once she took the final step, Hilda gave her three claps of applause. “Good job. I’ll teach you how to swim someday, but right now, we have a very important game of Spin the Unicorn Floatie to play.”

“I still don’t know what that is.”

“You’ll see,” Hilda replied with a smirk, echoing Crystal’s earlier statement.

As promised, Hilda held Mary’s hand as they walked through the water to the circle of people. Mary marveled at the way it felt to move within the pool. It was as though she had to push to make every movement. She felt a familiar sense of anxiety form in her gut, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it, because a big unicorn floatie was in front of her face.

“Mary’s going first,” Crystal announced. Mary looked up. There in the unicorn floatie was Crystal, hugging the neck of the unicorn. “Spin me.”

The crowd started chanting “spin, spin, spin” as Mary looked on with confusion. With a shrug, she grabbed the edge of the floatie and pushed it to the side, prompting it to spin in half a circle. She mentally chided herself for her lack of strength, but to her surprise, everyone around her cried out in joy. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she glanced at Hilda, who was just as rowdy as everyone else, but still holding her hand.

“I’m pointing at… Randy!” Crystal announced, eliciting giddy reactions from some of the boys. “Mary,” she said, turning around as much as she could, “hit him with the truth or dare.”

“Uh, okay. Randy, truth or dare.”

“Dare, every time!” More cheers and hollers sounded all around, and Mary couldn’t help but laugh heartily at the scene. The game hadn’t even started, but spirits were already high. 

“Okay, I dare you to, hmm…” She puzzled over it for a moment. “Kiss your best friend on the cheek.”

“What cheek?”

A bunch of “ooh”s came from the crowd, and Mary laughed again. “I don’t care.”

Randy and another boy looked each other deeply in the eyes, as if mimicking an affectionate scene from a corny movie. It got lots of laughs before Randy ended it with a quick peck on his friend’s face. He probably kissed his friend’s ear more than his cheek, but no one cared or noticed.

The rest of the game continued, everyone loud and boisterous and daring their friends to kiss each other. Mary lost herself in the energy, her fear of the water disappearing. 

Over the course of the games, Hilda started to scoot closer to her, linking their arms in addition to their hands. When something funny would happen, Hilda would look to Mary first, occasionally laying her head on Mary’s shoulder. It made Mary’s head spin, but she wasn’t one to question a good thing, especially not in this atmosphere.

Eventually, it was Hilda’s turn to spin the unicorn floatie. She looked at Mary with a smile. “I’ll have to let go of your hand to participate in the game. Okay?”

Mary hummed, tightening her grip on Hilda’s hand. “No.” She challenged Hilda with a smirk. 

Before anything else happened, a boy walked out of the house. He must’ve been Crystal’s younger brother, Mary thought, because he was in his pajamas and looked no older than 13. He approached the pool, but few paid attention to him, as they were mostly intoxicated, splashing each other, or both. The boy spoke in a normal volume to the noisy party, so Mary could barely hear him.

“Mom said to tell Mary that her mom is here and is coming to get her.” After saying that too quietly for almost anyone to hear him, the boy turned and walked back in the house. 

Mary felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach. Her whole body began to tremble. “No,” she whispered, feeling the life leave her body. “No. Oh god.” She squeezed her eyes shut. Suddenly, the water around her felt like a cold prison, confining her where she stood. With every deep breath she took, her heart only beat faster.

“Hey.” Hilda spoke in a serious voice. Mary barely registered it until Hilda grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace. She held Mary close, rubbing her back. “Everything is gonna be okay.”

Mary shook, even as Hilda tried to calm her down. “I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m-”

“No.” Hilda pulled back enough to look Mary in the eyes. “You’re gonna be okay. I’m always here for you. You’ll make it through.” Hilda gave her signature smile once again, and Mary swore that it was the only thing in the universe that could have calmed her nerves. “And hey, don’t forget.” Hilda pointed to the unicorn floatie. “It landed on you.”

“What?” Mary could barely hear what Hilda said, because when she saw her mother’s death glare, all she could think of was how to hide.

“Truth or dare?”

“I-” Mary’s eyes filled with tears, and she started to walk out of the pool with Hilda following her. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go with my mom now, she’s gonna kill me.”

“I understand. But just remember,” Hilda called after her, “we’re finishing this game someday.”

~~~

Mary stepped out of the pool. Her unmatching underwear clung to her skin and made her shiver even more. But nothing was worse than the unforgiving gaze of her mother, glaring down at her. Her mother approached with hands on her hips.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She spat. “I raised you better than this. These kids are- they’re punks. You know you’re better than this. We don’t drink.” She pointed at a poolside table, where there were about a dozen empty beer cans. “We don’t smoke.” She pointed to a pair of girls on the other side of the pool, who were smoking cigarettes and looking at a magazine together. “And we don’t play those degenerate games!”Lastly, she pointed to the group of people in the pool, most of whom were continuing Spin the Unicorn Floatie. Mary felt speechless in the face of her mother’s sneer.

“Um…” 

“And who,” she hissed, “gave you, little miss, permission to swim?”

“Nobody.”

“You didn’t answer your phone,” she continued, “do you know how worried I was? I thought you might be dead in a ditch. How do you think I would feel if something happened to you?” Not giving her a chance to respond, Mary’s mother seized her wrist and dragged her shivering, soaked body to their car.

Mary caught one last glimpse at Hilda, who, much to her despair, looked upon her with pity.

~~~

No leaving the house for six months, no phone for two years, no parties ever again, no drinking anything but water for a year…

Mary couldn’t even remember all the new rules her mother set for her. She sat curled on her bed, leaning her head against the window. She stared at her mother’s car- the car that had taken her from a life of new back to a life of old.

“Fuck this.” She hit her pillow with her fist.

An idea came to her mind. At first, she shook her head. She had done enough disappointing her mother for one day, she thought.

Hilda’s face came to her mind.

And suddenly, she felt she hadn’t disappointed her mother enough.

She opened the door to her room quickly so it wouldn’t creak. She tiptoed through the house, every movement slow and calculated. Every breath was measured and controlled.

It took her two minutes to arrive at the kitchen counter, where her mother kept her car keys. She took those keys with a clear thought in her mind.

It’s time to finish that game.