The 24th of July

“Aren’t the stars pretty? They’re so mesmerizing,” Neo said, his eyes dazzling just like the stars above them. Lucian hummed in agreement, staring even more intently into his eyes.

“Let’s go see the stars every year on this day, we’ll make this a special day!” Neo exclaimed, his eyes shining with all the glitter in them. He agreed and they continued admiring the stars. As Neo rambled on about how the stars were incredibly pretty, Lucian couldn't help it. He couldn't help but say the only thing that was on his mind. 

“Yeah, the stars are really pretty,” Lucian whispered, reaching out to caress his face. Neo, having sensed the intensity of his stare, giggled and teased him,” You don’t have to stare so intensely at me, we’re supposed to admire the stars in the sky! Not my eyes! Besides, I’m not going anywhere.”

Those last few words reverberated in Lucian’s mind. Lucian couldn't get that out of his mind. It was exactly a year ago and it would come back to him every night. It bothered him.

Neo was a patient of Lucian and he was suffering from cancer. It was incurable, but there was very little time available for him to be alive. Sensing his unease, Neo would always reassure Lucian with phrases like “I’ll make it out alive, just wait for me.”

He knew. In fact, both knew. However, it was never said out loud. 

Sighing, he leaned back even further in his chair, casually looking out of the window to see what normal people could not see. The cherry blossom that had just bloomed a few days ago were now falling down to the ground. No, it was not just falling, it was being thrown down. There were a few naughty boys trying to destroy all the flowers on the tree. Recognizing them, he did not know what to do. They were his recent patients, victims of cancer just like his Neo. 

They were mischievous, but they were kind-hearted even though they had no filter. Every thought of theirs was said out loud, and it could be a good thing or a bad thing. It depends, but right now, he was puzzled over why they were killing off all the flowers. 

Sliding open his window, he felt it. The wind blew him up, up into the sky. Not just the sky. He was flying upwards, all the way into outer space. Into the unknown. Soon, he could not tell where he was. It was similar to where he was but it was entirely different. 

The cherry blossoms that were outside his office were now blue in color. The children were still there, beside the flowers. They were destroying it and each time a flower died, another grew. A black flower. Memories inside him were being plucked out just like the blue flowers. Precious ones that he treasured forever. They were all being replaced with nothing but blanks. Before he knew it, he could not remember anything for a moment. All he could feel were his emotions. A strong sense of affection. For a specific someone.

The tree was now fully black, from the roots to the flowers it had on its raven trunks. The ghosts of the children he was unable to save came into sight. He was thrown into a ferocious storm that caused the sea of emotions to press him down. Regret. Sadness. Anger. Happiness. All of those knocked all the air out of him. They all belonged to the children. Strangely, he could feel it. It was as if it was going to be his. It could not be, could it?

“S-stop it, please! I know you’re angry because I couldn’t save you, but I’m sorry. I really tried and nothing worked,”

The waves calmed down, the weather cleared and he could see the light above. The sea of emotions now belonged to him. The blood, sweat, and tears of his merged with his surroundings. The blood from when he injured himself for Neo. The sweat from when he worked extremely hard just so that he could have more time to spend with Neo. The tears shed from when he realized nothing would work on Neo, just like the children. His whole world revolved around Neo. Neo was his everything was what he thought the whole time. Everything he did was for Neo. It backfired when what he did for Neo caused some misunderstandings and fights happened. 

Everything I did was for Neo, for you.

“Does he know that?”

He was puzzled, know what?

“That everything you did was for Neo,”

Yes. He did. He had told Neo right from the start that he loved him. At that night under the starry sky, he told Neo. He said,” I love you,” and Neo responded with,” I love you too.”

“Are you sure you told him?”

…

“...”

…He didn’t.

“So, do you know what you have to do?”

Yes. He did. He did not a few minutes ago but he did now. Forget all the irrelevant details. The black tree that was so hopeless had hope. It had one blue flower left. It could not be seen but it was there. Hidden. In the core of the tree would be where he find his heart. His feelings. Love. For Neo. 

That was all that mattered.

His feelings were all that mattered right from the start. The reason why he could not remember anything past the encounter with Neo a year ago was that he met Neo a year ago. That night. The night that he met Neo. 

It was not a few years ago. It was on today a year ago. 

Now, he had to hurry. 

They promised. 

Promises were so fragile. 

One. 

Just one. 

It was all that was required to break it. 

One word.

In one sentence.

From one person.

On one night. 

You should say everything you want to say when a person is alive. Face to face. 

Do you want to know why?

Because when you say everything you want to say when that person is dead.

That person is never going to hear it anymore. 

That was what the wind blowing against his face was saying. In Neo’s voice. 

Neo’s voice was cracking. Yet he could see it. Neo smiling. 

Neo knew. Yet his doubt in himself caused all the misunderstandings between them.

Neo knew that Lucian loved Neo. 

Neo knew that Lucian had a crush on someone who has cancer. The same type of cancer as Neo. 

Neo knew that Lucian had to choose between the two. 

Neo or Noah?

…

The answer to this question was obvious.

Why didn’t Lucian figure this out earlier?

He did not want to face it. 

The responsibility was too big.

Even if he is a doctor?

Yes, even if he is a doctor. 

He could hear it clearly. 

Those words. They struck him hard.

He knew it was the truth. 

He couldn’t face it in the past.

He could now. 

“Of course I’m going to choose Neo! Neo! Wait for me!”

He made his way to the spot he chanced upon a year ago.

“Neo!” he screamed it on the top of his lungs, his throat burning. 

“Lucian? What’re you doing here?” his words trailed off as he thought of the promise the two had made. Chuckling, he realized what a stupid question it was. Able to read his facial expression, he knew what he was thinking. 

“No, it’s not a stupid question.”

“Can you…?” He gasped, disbelief clear as day in his eyes. 

“No, I can’t. Your facial expression betrays what you’re thinking,” he responded back with a snort. Shaking his head, he set his heart to say it. Out for Neo to hear. Loud enough for the world to listen. 

“Neo, I love you. I choose you. Forget Noah. He’s now only a friend to me,” Lucian explained. 

“Lucian? No way, I bet you’re just feeling pity-”

Before Neo was able to complete his sentence, Lucian interrupted. 

“No. Neo, look at me.”

Neo looked away.

“Neo. Look at me.”

Neo reluctantly looked back.

“I love you.”

“Am I dreaming? Is this the moment the rumors said? When you die, you’re granted one moment you desire to live through.”

“No. Neo, you’re alive. Right now. And you’ll be alive forever by my side.”

Tears slid down Neo’s cheeks.

“I love you too.”

Both smiled.

Both sat down on the soft grass in the same spot they were sitting at a year ago.

Both looked up.

Both saw the stars.

Both saw the exact same stars as today a year ago. 

Today a year ago was the 24th of July.

Today this year is the 24th of July.