David's Ghost

A black blanket begins to cover the sky and I watch as the stars gradually litter it. A cool breeze blows as if to erase all memory of the day’s heat. I welcome it with a whistle that matches its rhythm.

“You’ll catch a cold, my dear.” A voice interrupts my cheery melody. The wind carries it in wave-like motions bringing it close enough to touch then snatching it back before I can. I know the voice too well. I would recognize it anywhere.

“David.” A smile makes its way on my face involuntarily despite my grief. It was a dream. It had to be. He was gone just like his voice in the wind. I closed my eyes and willed myself to let him go. I failed. Just like every other time I tried.

“Is it me you don’t trust or your heart?” The voice spoke again. This time it was close. So close that I felt a warm breath on my neck. I opened my eyes and forced myself to turn around.

“David!” I gasped. “How…What…?” I chock up as I struggled to find words.

“Come, here.” He says as he pulls me into his arms.

He smells like freshly cut grass with a hint of petrichor. I always thought that he smelled the way he did because he loved the open fields, and enjoyed good tilled earth. Standing here, breathing in his scent and feeling the warmth of his embrace, felt like home. It had been a long time since I had felt this way. If this is a dream, I pray that it lasts forever. We sit on the grass with hands intertwined, enjoying one another’s company, in blissful silence.

“It was fifty years ago today…the day I bumped into you in the rain” My head was on his chest as he spoke and I could feel the vibrations as the sound came from within him.

I allow my mind to travel back in time through my assortment of memories. Though it is quick, I enjoy the journey and the glimpses of the past that it brings. I eventually get to my destination, the incident in the rain, and I smile as I observe my own story as a spectator.

“You didn’t bump into me, David,” I say after reminiscing. “You knocked and I fell into a trench. I nearly died!”

“Oh don’t be so melodramatic, my dear.” He chuckles. “The trench wasn’t even two feet deep.”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“No, but you may be exaggerating a little.”

“I don’t exaggerate.” I tease and he plays along.

“If I hadn’t nearly killed you, as you so eloquently put it, we would have never gotten married. That, my dear Martha, would have been tragic.” I grin idiotically. For once, I am speechless.

“Cat got your tongue?” He gloats as soon as he recognizes his victory.

“No,” I say with a tinge of pain in my voice. “He ran away. After the funeral, he sat on the grave for a few days, and then he just…disappeared.” I knew he was speaking metaphorically but my mind instantly went to the grey cat that adored David and resented me. I look down sheepishly, feeling silly that I was upset over a cat. David never thought anything I did was silly. Even now, he looks at me with such love and awe. It is as though he admires me for some strange reason. I don’t understand it.

“I know you loved him.”

“No, I didn’t. I don’t like cats.”

“Then why is the memory of his disappearance painful for you?”

“I…I…”

“You loved him just as you loved me.”

“I will always love you, David.”

“I know…” He says but I know there is more he wants to say, I can tell.

“What is it?” He looks to the ground.

“David?” He sighs and continues to look down.

“Tell me, please!” I try in vain to keep my voice calm.

“You need to let me go.” He says finally.

“What?”

“I said…”

“I heard you!” I say in a raised voice. I am too frustrated and angry to sit down and so I get up and begin to walk towards no destination in particular.

“Martha, wait!” He pleads as he chases me. I stop abruptly and turn to face him.

“Why?” I yell at him. “Why should I wait? I thought you wanted me to let you go. Go on then. Leave!”

“Martha…”

“I didn’t call you back from the grave or wherever it is you were. I did not conjure up a spell to summon you. You came to me. Then you have the nerve to tell me that I need to let you go!”

“Martha…”

“Do you know what it’s been like for me? The children are all grown up. All of them have settled down and have families. I was all alone. I am all alone…” My voice trails. “Your brothers tried to get me to remarry, saying it was not proper for me to be alone. They were right. I shouldn’t be alone. I should have remarried. I should have listened!” My voice rises as I begin choking up.

“Martha…”

“You have some nerve telling me to let you go. You are the one who left me!” I curl my hands up into fists and begin hitting him. He doesn’t fight back. He doesn’t even try to stop me. This infuriates me.

“Why did you leave me, David? Why did you leave me?” My voice trails off. I have no strength to fight him anymore. I begin to sob, unable to hold back the pain any longer. I feel his gentle arms embrace me and I give in to his warmth. I don’t know how long I sobbed in his chest but I cried until I had no more tears left.

“I love you so much, Martha.” He whispers, his voice full of grief. “I could never leave you. Not even if I wanted to. If I could, I’d hold you forever.” He pulls me closer and holds me tighter as if to prove his point.

“Then why is your side of the bed empty? You left me even though you say you never could.”

“We simply ran out of time.”

“You mean time snatched you away,” I say bitterly and my eyes begin tearing up again.

“Anger and bitterness will wear you out and ruin you.”

“I’m already worn out and ruined.”

“My love, see me in the eyes of our children and the smiles of our grandchildren. Live your life. Don’t spend your days under a tree talking to me. Tell the babies about me and make them candies. Love them for me. Please.”

“But I need you…”

“They need you more. Besides, we will all be together someday. All I need from you is a promise.”

“What promise is that?”

“Live my darling. You have mourned for far too long. Smile again. You know how I love your smile.

“I just need more time.”

“No, my love. Not even a hundred years would have been enough if we were given the chance. We were blessed to have each other for as long as we did.”

“Will you come back if I let you go?”

“That would be missing the point, wouldn’t it?” He chuckles. “I want you well and whole again. That is why I cannot come back again. It is you who will find your way to me…eventually.”

“I love you, David!”

“I love you too.” He kisses my forehead and I feel the warmth of his chest fade away. When I open my eyes, he is gone.