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Fiction Drama Mystery

The same four walls. The same roof that covers them. The same creaky hardwood floors, so thin they could break. The same cuffs on the benches that their parents had broken out of so many years ago, leaving them wondering what they did to deserve this.


The room is frozen and small. The same small room isolates two kids in the dark, as there is no light switch in sight. And if there were a little switch to light a spark in the bulbs over them, they could escape this tiny room and blend into the regular human population. They’ve tried to leave using the doorknob, but their hands burn from the ice, and their source of fire is gone.


They were born here, in this exact room. Their parents were killed in this room, trying to escape, using the light switch. The guards were at the door, prepared to fire. And when they did, all they could see was their parents collapsing, and the sight of the sun outside. That was the only time they got a glimpse of the outside world. 


“It’s not impossible to leave here. Didn’t they get close to escaping? If only the guards were not there,” Ash says as he uses an old stone to put another line into the wall. “It’s the first of January. Not that you care.”


“Well, it’s not my fault our parents failed, it’s just what happens when you try to escape. I expect that you’ll die next from a bullet wound. You should just face the reality that we’re never leaving,” Ember growls, half throwing a pebble at the wall and half glaring at Ash.


“I’ll never accept that! We are isolated in this room! Don’t you want to see the outside world, live like a normal human being?!” Ash snaps, ashamed by how Ember doesn’t believe anymore. 


It’s true. Long ago, Ash and Ember believed there was a way to escape. They played games and dreamed their life could be different. Well, until their parents died at least. As Ember says, “They died of stupidity. They knew all too well that their dream could never come true.” 


After their parents died, Ember gave up. She sits and throws her pebble all day, like her only spark of life was blown out by the sound of the bullets and the image of their parents dead on the floor, the life seeping out of them.


Ash, on the other hand, was too young to remember this incident. He doesn’t remember his parents at all, yet he carries the same desire to leave this place as their parents had. Ember is the only person he knows, and when she gave up, his new chore was counting the days, the months, the years. 


“Our parents would’ve wanted us to escape,” he says, a little calmer.


“Our parents are dead,” Ember responds in a low mutter. Yet those four words rip her apart from the inside out. 


The days pass and the same pattern repeats. Ember throws her rock at the wall, while Ash writes another mark on the wall announcing the date.


“January 28th,” Ash says with a bitter taste in his mouth, “Ember, we can’t do this forever. We have a purpose, our life needs a spark. The spark of escape.”


Ember doesn’t speak but stops in her pebble throwing to look at Ash. She huffs, then falls slowly to the ground until her feet are flat on the opposite side of the wall. 


“Fine, but if we fail like our parents, I’m blaming you,” Ember says, her voice shaking.


Ash was so astonished that he almost fell over. Ember always avoids his ideas of escaping, so when she finally agrees, he knows he can’t mess this up.


“This masterplan is going to be complex, are you sure you’re ready?” Ash says, worried that Ember might panic. 

 

“I think I’m ready… but I’ll never be fully ready.”


“Those old cuffs on the bench are a great tool! If we use those and lock it to the door, maybe we can pull the doorknob off and escape. Don’t you think it would be an amazing peephole to look out for guards and stuff so we can fully make it out of here?”


“Sure, if the guards are dumb enough to walk past a door without a knob.”


“Okay! Let’s do this, let’s escape!” Ash says enthusiastically. Oblivious to Ember who is cramming herself into the corner of the wall.


“No, we don’t know if it’ll work. We could die!” Ember says fearfully.


Each day was like the others. Ember didn’t want to escape anymore, reminded of the guard with the menacing look on his face before he shot. The sound of the bullet whizzing past after his finger pulled the trigger.


The pebble was her entertainment, to put all her focus into that little rock, and it took away the image of her parents laying on the creaky floor. 


Her brother, as always, was scratching the wall to determine the day and he slept on the floor because there was nothing else to do. 


“It’s March 8th! Come on Ember. You can’t just say that you’ll escape with me then ditch that plan. I don’t get it! Why do you always throw that stupid rock at the wall?!” Ash says grumpily. He knew he’ll never be able to escape without Ember, and he didn’t understand why Ember always throws that same rock at the wall.


“Ash! You can’t force me to do anything! You’re lucky you were too young to remember our parents. I remember them like they were with me yesterday, getting shot for trying to escape.”


“Well it’s not my fault that I want to escape with you, and you still think that they’ll shoot us,” Ash says defiantly.


“Sorry, Mr. I’m so lucky because I don’t remember my parents!” Ember says irritated. “And you see this rock? Yeah, Mom gave it to me before she died, she said as long as this rock is with me, her spirit will remain alive.” Ember chokes. 


Ash falls silent and looks like he just saw a ghost. “I- didn’t know that….” What came out of Ember’s mouth inspired Ash, giving him another reason to escape. 


“She knew her escape mission was going to fail, and that’s what I’ve been telling you,” Ember says, her voice more stable.


As always, the months pass by and Ember is still throwing her rock and Ash with his stone, scraping lines into the wall.


“December 31st,” Ash says grumpily. “Ember? Can we please just-”


“Fine.”


“Really?!”


“Yes, tomorrow….”


“Hmph, what if you change your mind by then?!”


“Then I change my mind. You know why now, so stop complaining.”


The next day came by quickly. Ash made a final scratch in the wall fast and enthusiastically, “January 1st! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Now truly I’m only celebrating because we’re leaving, like right now!”


 “Okay, okay,” Ember said, suddenly curious to know what the outside world might look like.


Ash ran to the untouched cuffs on the bench and cuffed it right to the doorknob, barely avoiding frostbite. 1, 2, 3 PULL! The knob got pulled right off the door which was unexpected by Ember. Ash forgot about the whole peephole thing and opened the door wide. 


The sun streamed in and, it felt warm but way too bright. So bright, it was blinding. They’ve been in the dark and dingy room for their whole lives, and now they’re free. Embers lips moved upward into a minuscule smile, as Ash’s lips have parted showing his teeth shiny from the glow of the sun. 


The sunny blur from their adjusting eyes had left,  right in front of them, a guard, blocking the sun from view.


 It took Ember only three seconds to realize what’s going on. Her smile fades as swiftly as it takes for an eye to blink. Ash was confused for a minute, before looking at Ember and losing his sense of freedom too. The same menacing-faced guard held up a gun, pointing it right at them.


“Playtime’s over kids. Time to join your parents,” His voice was lost under the sound of the firing gun.


March 06, 2021 16:06

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9 comments

00:54 Mar 24, 2021

This was really good! Sad, but good :) I do wish that you explained why they were contained in that room better, but I loved Ash and Ember’s relationship!

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Great story, Monica! You did a thorough job of developing Ash and Ember's conflicting views if attempting to escape was worth it. The dialogue between them encompassed the conflict well and helped the story to move along. At the end when the characters opened the door and felt the sunshine, you did a great job of making the reader imagine exactly what it must have been like, which added to the importance of the moment. The line break you used in the last words worked well to add a sense of finality to the story. I might have missed something...

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Monica D
17:45 Mar 07, 2021

Thanks! I'll take your advice with the inspired part! glad you liked it.

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No problem!

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Nyla N
16:41 Mar 06, 2021

Wow! That was really good! I loved the fact that even the rock, a mindless random object had such a deep purpose to it and it added to the complexity of the story! I really liked Lara's comment about the complimentary personalities because that was a very advanced concept you included so well! (I've never been able to do that) Every single thing in this story has a purpose and that is the mark of a truly great writer! Although you wrote it from a third person perspective, you still invoked emotion and I truly felt for the characters. Then fi...

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Monica D
17:15 Mar 06, 2021

Thanks! I'm glad you liked the story and the ending.

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Natalie Dafoe
16:12 Mar 06, 2021

Ayyy first like and read, lets goooo. This story was very interesting to read, I was constantly wondering whether Ember and Ash would make it out. (How unfortunate that they didn't). I am left with more questions than answers, which means you did a good job for a fiction short story. The world building was good for the short time you took to introduce it, and you managed to span a story over almost a year, which is something I have been trying to get better at myself. So for that, bravo. My favourite part of the story would have to be "She...

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Monica D
16:19 Mar 06, 2021

Thanks, Lara, I'm glad you like the fact about their personalities, and I tried to write this story a little differently than the others. I'm glad you enjoyed it. =)

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Natalie Dafoe
16:28 Mar 06, 2021

Of course I enjoyed it :) I love the use of dialogue in this story, it just adds onto the characters and the whole lack of outside stimulation

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