Blue Corvette

Its 3 o clock and the party was called for 12 noon.

You've already taken a couple of Valium earlier this morning, but are still worried that Jeff is going to  look better with his shirt off than you will The entire week until now You have been on the juice. Also, you cut out bread and refined sugar, had a full box of laxatives and done upwards of 800 sit ups. Jeff has a personal trainer though, so he definitely has the upper hand. 

Susan is here with you  and to your own credit, she looks terrific. Her most recent boob job has set her miles ahead of the other women her age. Like Jeff She also has a personal trainer and it shows. On top of that she has a tennis coach which anyone can really tell by taking a look at her calve muscles. 

There is a piece of paper taped to the door and it says “enter through back”. Susan uses the opportunity posed by the glass panel the note is taped on to look at her reflection and after a couple of twitchy attempts at fixing her already perfect hair, she nudges you to start moving to the backyard. 

Your 13 year old son Jason has managed to follow along with you up along the long brick driveway maze of luxury sports cars and an elaborate fountain without even peering up from his cell phone. The children today are talented in ways unimagined by your great ancestors. 

When you make it to the back you are greeted at the gate by a female college student with a perfect figure wearing a cocktail dress and serving hors d oeuvres. She smiles with a seductive squint in her eye as her gaze lingers on you. You make a note to try and fuck her in the laundry room later. 

You all refuse the appetizers, (Jason too, takes extreme precautions not to tamper with his immaculate figure. He also has a personal trainer ) but, Susan and you grab a drink off the tray by yet another scantily clad, female college student, equally as hot as the one before. (Maybe this laundry room thing will be a threesome?) 

The music playing through surround sound speakers  is loud but in such a way that is not intrusive upon the ears. Rather, the heavy bass can be felt thumping inside every persons chest, so that when mixed in with the right level of intoxication , it can seem to dominate them entirely— leaving each person stripped of their ability to think  

There is Jeff smiling his freshly whitened teeth and puffing up his freshly waxed chest in greeting. Unfortunately, you were right, as you can already see that his body looks way better yours does.  

“Howdy to the Petroff’s!” He says loudly so everyone can hear. But the music is so loud that no one hears and no one turns arojnd. You are so busy envying Jeff’s chiseled abdomen, it takes you a few moments to respond. 

“Jeff! Was that your new blue vetty I saw out front?  I almost came in my swim Trunks.“

You say

“Damn right, J.”

He says while giving your wife  a paltry kiss on the lips. 

“I’m glad you were able to hold It in. You may need it later.” He winks. 

He turns to Jason. 

“Hey bud. You gonna slay ol foxx’s daughter tonight? You fuckin better. I heard you’ve racked up more kills than my boy. Go on inside. They’re all in the basement theatre. Grab something from the fridge beforehand. Whatever you’d like. Coke, lox, a beer, just kidding, or am I? haha! Or, hmm, a piece of one of those hot college caterer babes, perhaps... “

You can suddenly tell Jeff has already done a lot of since this morning.

“ Oh right, I was meaning to ask about the uh, caterers...” 

You say while Susan gives you a sidelong glance. 

Jeff puts his hand on the small of Sudan’s back and gives her a tap , which you notice grazes her buttocks ever so slightly. 

“Go say hi to the ladies. They’ve been wondering about you. It looks great by the way, babe. “ says Jeff while focusing his eyes on her recent nose job. 

Jeff may not even realize that her nose job wasn’t even her most recent surgery. At any rate, he could’ve said that compliment on any given day and it would probably be just as valid considering how often she gets work done. 

Susan and Jeff dated before, but Jeff dumped her and married Miranda who you had tried with but never gotten further than a hand-job. You were all there at each other’s weddings as best man or bridesmaids. Your weddings were only one week away and financed by your dad’s law firm (P. J & associates) you all honeymooned to Aruba and had a group of thirty other 'close friends' there along with you. Many of those same people are here today. People from the firm, or from law school who ended up at different firms. Then there’s the socialites, the wannabe’s who try to get invited to everything and will suck anyone’s dick to be liked. And of course, there’s the random cousin who supplies the coke and the Hollywood agent who usually brings some B- list actor. 

While most of you have big time positions at big time firms You're all basically the same as you were In college. 

You're all sitting around on deck chairs, oiled up and in designer shades and flip flops. You saw Darryns wife Renée check you out a few times and you make a note to follow up on her later. They’re all taking about this new cake place. 

“I swear. I swear. You’ve never seen anything like it. “ 

“Oh, I’m sure. “

“And they’re literally to die for. To die for!” 

“Oh, I’m sure. “

...

“Hey, are you guys talking about Patty’s cakes?” 

 And then they’re talking about the best surgeons. You and Jeff sit with a couple of cuban cigars and talk about Marty, the loser who got fired from the firm last week.

They're still talking about plastic surgery, or cake, but you can't tell and don't care enough to know, anyway. Out of boredom you fix another drink, take another lorazepam, and by the time you come back they're still going on.

“I swear. You won’t find better. He’s expensive. But he’s worth it. “

“ Oh, I’m sure. “

“Hey, are you guys talking about Dr Kahneman?” 

And then they’re talking about this new up and coming cruise line. 

Jeff turns to you and says into your ear: 

“Im going to fuck those college babes in the laundry room. “ 

By the time the sun is setting , the booze and the Benzos are kicking in and conversation has loosened up from cakes and designer clothes to who's fucking who, who has the best tits and college sex stories. 

George, one of the senior partners at your firm does a line of blow off Susan’s freshly purchased tits. It’s amazing he can still handle as much coke as he does, considering he is 73 and he has a heart condition.  

Downstairs, the kids are all drunk and high, fondling each other beneath blankets while they watch horror movies. The Stedman’s daughter Hailey, took mushrooms for her first time and she locked herself in the bathroom and is having a panic attack. The other kids are too busy inhaling joints and orgasming to notice, until Adam goes to the bathroom for toilet paper to wipe himself off and sees Hailey passed out on the heated porcelain tile. After tea bagging her, he leaves. He goes back a moment later, though, and this time he brings his phone camera.

Jeff is nowhere to be found. You look around for him because you want him to take you drunk driving in his new blue Vetty. You go so far to start poking my head right between some of the couples are fucking on couches just to see if it's him or not. With nothing but the dim lamps, the decorative tiki torches, and the shifting glows of colour from the changing neon pool lights, it is hard to see exactly who's fucking who. 

Tired and famished, having not eaten for almost 48 hours anything except prozac, valium, benzos, a dozen vodka clubs and half a tortilla chip, you succumb yourself to the fridge where you plan to gorge on the first thing you can fit into your mouth. 

As you make it to the fridge something occurs to you— You know where Jeff is. You manage to pry your hand from the refrigerator door handle and you make your way towards the laundry room. 

Sure enough, there is Jeff, face-fucking one of the college girls while the other one is lucking his balls and asshole from behind. The laundry machine is running (But you cant imagine there is really any laundry inside) and so you manage to close the door without them noticing, and even more impressively, without exploding from your boiling impassivity. 

Defeated, you clamber over towards the pool and you slide in until my head is underwater. The underwater neon lights are flashing: red, green, orange, violet. Your entire body is ticklish and numb, there is a tingling in your left ear, and no-one seems to notice that you are drowning.