People in Glass Houses

"Shh!" Kiran whispered, much too loudly, her finger to her lips, stumbling over her heels as she tried to keep from giggling.

"You shh!" Jay whispered back.

They had managed to hide out in the bathroom after closing, and now the art museum was theirs for the evening. They knew the security guard's flashlight could find them at any time, but they could always feign being lost kids who were stuck in the bathroom and couldn't get out.

Kiran opened the map, now crumpled and creased. "Where do you want to go?" She realized they hadn't really thought it through. What could they possibly really do before they got caught?

But earlier, when they were leaning shoulder to shoulder, semi-date two, gazing up at a old Japanese painting of Mount Fuji, the lines thick and almost cartoonish, the colors defined but almost pastel, that they began pushing at each other's shoulders. He pushed, and she pushed back, back and forth, back and forth. They were both smiling, and started to chuckle.

When their swaying finally slowed down, he turned only his head toward her, his arms crossed in front of him, and asked, oh-so-innocently, "What do you want to do next?"

When the announcement came on that the museum would be closing in fifteen minutes, she saw his face fall ever so slightly, and he goaded her, "Clock's ticking!" with a big grin.

She'd had no choice. She raised a single eyebrow in that way only she could, and the plan was formed. Only, now, it seemed, not very well formed, the way a dream makes sense when you are in it, but lacks substance when you probe your mind for details.

So here they were, amid pillars of sculptures, paintings on the wall, rare and precious items silent and looming. She grabbed his hands and they crept around, hiding behind pillars and ducking behind half-walls like cartoon characters sneaking up on someone.

The guard's flashlight passed in a far room and they fell silent against a pillar. Kiran began imitating him. "What's that? Tiger loose in the museum? I think I'll go back to my desk."

Jay cracked up and took out his phone to begin snapping photos silently. His hand was moving so fast the photos were probably blurry. Then it looked like he was taking video, because he was narrating in his loud whispery voice, "Here we are in the Museum of Modern and Ancient Art, after it has closed. As you can see on the left is a bust of somebody cast in some kind of goldish metal, and on the right..." Kiran was laughing so hard, she clutched her belly.

"Look behind you!" Jay pointed. On loan to the museum was a pedestal with a giant stone. The piece was covered with different types of writing hacked into the stone in straight lines.

She couldn't believe it was uncovered, not behind glass or plexiglass or anything, just there, on this platform, not even held by any prongs. She looked back at Jay, widened her eyes comically. Then she traced the Greek letters, and then the hieroglyphics, and then the third script whose name the label called "Demotic" with the tips of her fingers.

"Woah."

"Aagh you're getting your germs on it!" Jay fake-panicked, pulling her hands away.

"Come on! It's the real Rosetta Stone!"

"I don't know why they'd leave it uncovered!" he gasped mockingly. "It's not like kids would touch it or anything."

He backed away and continued his video narration. "Here, ladies and gents, the infamous Rosetta Stone, without which white people would know nothing about anyone anywhere else!"

Kiran turned from gazing at the stone. She laughed and called back, "Here, pass it!"

Without hitting pause, he threw it in an arc toward her. She was never good at catching, and he realized too late that he'd overthrown the phone.

It landed a sickening crack onto the stone, the glass edge of Jay's phone smacking into the top of the phone, and then tumbling over.

He ran over in a genuine panic this time, picking up his phone and cradling it, whispering soothing nothings to it. "Oh darling, are you okay?"

"Sheesh," Kiran rolled her eyes, looking down at him crouched there. "It's fine, you big baby. Get up!"

But then she suddenly was beside him, dragging him by the collar toward the wall. There was a sound of something scraping on metal, a repeating sound.

They looked up with horror as the stone teetered and then fell to the ground. Bits of crumbly stone went flying, even in their direction.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Jay was saying, swatting at his head. "I think I have Rosette Stone in my hair!"

He hacked and spat. "And my mouth."

Kiran was frozen, stunned.

"Hello?" Jay looked up at her, his back to the stone. "What're you just standing there for? Look! My screen is cracked! Help!"

Kiran only slowly raised her hand. Jay turned, and there was a long crack running down the center of the rock.

Jay let out an eerie wail. "We've destroyed the Rosetta Stone!" Both hands went to his cheeks and he opened his mouth wide, Home Alone style.

Kiran found her voice and whispered, "Run."

Their sneakers did not fail them. They went out of the ancient Egypt area, down the hallway, around the courtyard, then down two flights of stairs, through the Modern European Art, down another hallway, into the spiral staircase, rounding the corner next to a Roman bust that seemed to be peering at them suspiciously.

Jay wheezed behind Kiran. "Slow. Down.... Dying."

She continued around the corner and he heard her steps get to the bottom of the stairs and stop abruptly.

He panted. "Thanks. Now come back and carry me."

She said nothing, but a bright flashlight waved in his direction. When he made his way down the five steps, he saw the security guard.

"What are you doing here?" the surprisingly young and well-built man said. His name tag said Antonio.

They looked at each other, and down. Jay was still panting and bent down, hands on his knees. Kiran tried to look innocent and twiddled her fingers together, glancing up at Jay every now and then. "We just ... got stuck... in the bathroom... and..."

Jay thought she might be waiting for confirmation from him, but when he looked up, her eyebrows were going wild at him, up and down and her head was jerking this way and that.

She tried to reach her hand up to him, but it would be too obvious. Jay felt around his head, trying to seem nonchalant as Kiran droned on, "Well, I'm so sorry, we just got really turned around..."

She shuffled closer to him. Antonio began speaking, "Well, museum's closed," the guard said. "You kids better come with me."

He continued walking down the hallway and Kiran grunted through her teeth, "Collar!" Then she walked in front of him and glared, her eyebrows rising menacingly.

Jay felt in his shirt collar, which stuck up at an awkward angle by his left ear. Inside the pocket it made was a piece of...something.

He prised it out with his fingers, and was horrified to see that it was a sizable piece of rock that looked remarkably like the Rosetta Stone.

"Oh no!" he said out loud.

"What's that?" Antonio turned around and asked.

Jay hurriedly stuffed the piece into his pocket. "Uh nothing, just that my parents will be really worried."

"We'll get you home," Antonio reassured him. "By the way, did you two get to see the Rosetta Stone up there? Most valuable thing in here."

Kiran groaned this time, but caught herself. "Nope, no, didn't, too bad, we really should get home. Mom and Dad, you know, curfew and all. Have to see it next time I guess. We'll be back, right, Jay?"

Jay looked at her like she shouldn't have said his name for fear of incriminating him. But he nodded.

"Yeah, you should come back," the guard said with a smile, as they reached the entrance. "That bit of stone is worth millions. Billions, maybe. Priceless."

They looked at each other. Jay reached for the piece in his pocket but he must have missed because crumbs were trickling out of the bottom of his pants.

Antonio retrieved his keys, and held the door open for them.

Jay pushed past Kiran to get out as fast as possible, feeling bits of rock make their way into his shoe. Kiran fumbled for her car keys. "Okay, uh thanks...." she said with a lopsided smile.

"Sorry we couldn't see the Rosetta Stone. Another time!" Jay added for good measure, limping away.

"Well," the guard added confidentially. "I'll tell you a secret, though: it's not the real stone. There are a bunch of them in the back - all replicas. Imagine if they let the real thing around all the kids running around here!"

He laughed and laughed like that was the funniest joke he'd ever heard. "Still, worth a trip. You kids stay safe. Next time come early!" he yelled at their backs as they waved and jogged to the car.

With a big sigh and a nervous laugh, they opened the doors and got in. Kiran started the car and sat there for a moment. Jay's face was in his hands.

She pressed a hand to his shoulder. "Hey, you okay? Look, it worked out. No one knows anything so we can't get in trouble. Come on, let's go home."

He raised his head slowly, keeping his hands on his face.

"What is it?" Kiran asked, backing the car out of the parking lot.

"Kiran," he said, talking through his fingers. "I'm sorry! I ruined it!"

She turned into the road and sped up. "Sorry for what? It's over. You didn't ruin anything. Let's do our date over - maybe a movie though next time." She chuckled.

"No no no, Kiran, you don't understand!" His voice was full of remorse.

"Understand what?" she asked innocently. They were basically home now - his street, and hers two blocks down. She pulled into his parents' driveway, and the doors unlocked.

Jay still had his face covered. "It's fine," she added soothingly, putting her hands on his. "Hey. Show me the video, I bet it's not even that bad."

"Mm Frmmt," he mumbled.

"What?"

"I can't," he said.

"Why not?"

Jay released his hands slowly. Then he sobbed, "I can't find my phone."