THERE IS THEM AND US

My name is Elise and I am an addict. My addiction is not that of any alcohol or drugs, but I’m addicted to the thought of having a happily ever after. I had been suffering from as long as I can remember and deep down I know it will never end.

There is them, those girls whose destinies are handed down on a silver platter. They are born, graduate, get a job, get married and raise their beautiful kids. Those who live a fairytale life.

Then there is us, we struggle at everything and yet never get the ever after. We are those girls who satisfy their men while they wait to get married. We are rebound women before men finds other women to marry. We are one night stand girls, who woke up and find the guy is gone. We are those women who men cheat on their wife with but never get to be the wife.

All along we a promised love and marriage, but all end in heart breaks, humiliation and pain. But we never give up, we get ourselves into another relationship and get dumped and the circle continues.

It’s not like we are ugly or anything, most of us are beautiful, intelligent and caring. We just have misfortune of a destiny playing tricks on us. 

“I think we should stop this, we are young,I’m afraid I might get you pregnant”. My boyfriend at college had once told me after three month of our relationship. I understood we were taking a break and concentrating on our studies, only to find out he was moving in with another girl and she got pregnant few months after. They are happily married now. I realized he was dumping me in style.

That didn’t stop me from falling in love with other guys in college only to end up with a broken heart.

“I’m sorry but I’m in love with someone and she’s carrying my baby”. Another boyfriend of three years had said to me one day before the day we had planned to go to my parents. A sharp pain pierced my heart but nothing I could have done. Few days later I remember getting a call from his girlfriend restraining me from communicating with her man.

Each time I got a heart break I told myself, I wasn’t lucky and maybe next relationship would be the one. But I had lost count of how many relationship I had been in. Then I decided to stop falling in love but didn’t work either.

Another man had lied to me that he’s leaving his wife and I believed him. But he was so mysterious and secretive that I had to investigate, I found out he was happily married to his wife. He just lied to get inside my skirt.

Men always gives us complements, and always continue to have relationship with us and don’t care that they had broken our heart when they got married to someone else. The love being with us but doesn’t like marrying us. They confide in us about their marriage and relationship forgetting they left us for those women they complaining about.

“It’s not you. It is me”. Worst excuse we have heard hundreds of times from guys when they dump our kind. But those words still hurts each time we hear them.

Another man, we met in a bus,  as we travelled he said he fell in love with me and asked if I could love him back. After I slept with him he told me he was married. What I don’t understand, if men are looking for sex, why go to all trouble of lying and promising. Why not say what they really want.

Then a thought of joining dating sites online came to me, that day I joined numerous dating sites but only ended up with perverts. I was frustrated that nothing was working for me. It was strange that I was attracting men daily but I couldn’t last with any of them.

Them, those girls who are lucky looks down on us,  hate us, blame us for their problems without realizing they are the reason we are unlucky. They are blessed but plays with their luck, yet they’re always given a second to tenths chance while we  suffer.

One morning I stood in front of a mirror and stared at my reflection for a while. I realized how beautiful I was and anyone was lucky to be with me. I couldn’t believe a reflection I saw that morning, it was a reflection of a strong, confident and beautiful Elise. It had dawned to me that I was letting people stomp on me. I didn’t deserve the treatment I was getting and I had to do everything to break the circle.

It is time we appreciate our fate and let the almighty drive our destiny. May be one day I’ll be one of them, the married kind. Maybe one day I’ll be swept off my feet and get to live happily ever after.

Or maybe my heart will keep on breaking to the point that it shatters and I become heartless or maybe a wishing star will change my destiny.

One day I decided to not care, because I was that kind, the kind that get heartbroken and yet survive against all odd. The kind that don’t give up despite hundreds of heartache we go through. The kind that put faith first when trying new relationships , the kind that inspire other girls to believe in themselves.

Everyday I look at the mirror and I’m proud of the reflection that I see. I’m satisfied that though I might be a mistress, rebound girl, side chick or even a slut in front of other people but I know I’m doing a world a favor. Without us there is no them, and without them there is no us. My addiction won’t stop until I found that ever after I’m waiting for.

Right now I’m in a new relationship but the way it’s going, I’m sure it’s another breakup waiting to happen, but you never know……….