mart_is_always_in_pain

petrak@1e: hey martin, how are you? and you loving brooklyn? how's the new school? 

mart_in_pain: It's been 5 months, Petra, I moved to NYC. And you decide to text me today? Btw I'm great. Also you didn't get your shift key fixed yet? I love Brooklyn but I miss Germantown. The school's a little boring. Or maybe I haven't explored it yet. And I miss you. 

petrak@1e: aww, pauper payne misses princess petra. 

mart_in_pain: dude! 

petrak@1e: jk, miss you too, man. made any new friends? 

mart_in_pain: Yeah. A few. 

 1. Hannah Smith, teacher's pet, can solve a Rubik's cube in 50secs, brunette, ties her hair in a ponytail, big fan of Taylor Swift, plays the guitar.

 2. Caleb Campbell, the outcast, introvert and shy, but fun when they and I are hanging out at their place, and I let them talk about things that interest them, like astronomy. 

 3. Tristan Williams, the class clowns, blonde, funny, I didn't become friends with him, Hannah and he kinda adopted me. (They both dated each other in middle school, but remained friends after their break-up last year)

 4. Miguel Carlos Garcia Santiago, is a jock, cashier at a local store, which is two blocks south of the school, a block east from where he stays with his church going family, dark brown hair, looks innocent like a baby, could be a perfect angel sometimes, but also possesses the potential to make me hate him to the Andromeda and back. 

You made any new friends? You had me and no one else. You can use a few friends too you know. 

petrak@1e: wow, you're doing better than i expected you to. yeah ihave violet, alexis, and a new friend, andy lee. i have got this major crush on him, dude.

mart_in_pain: Wow, really? Is he a bad guy? I know you like bad boys. 

petrak@1e: no he's not a bad boy. he's so popular in school.like girls flock around him like sheeps. 

hey, you got any crushes? hannah? 

mart_in_pain: Yes. But no it's not Hannah. It's someone else...it's a guy.  

petrak@1e: dude, a guy?? you're gay? and you didn't tell me? you know how badly i wanted to start a gay-straight alliance at school.

mart_in_pain: I didn't know either, man. You know I dated Mia in middle school, and I have always talked about girls. It was never about guys. Not even a single guy made me feel what I felt for a lot of girls at our school. 

petrak@1e: so what's changed? how is this guy making you go gay? and is he gay or straight?

mart_in_pain: idk i hope part of me wants him to be gay and part of me wants him to be straight, punch me in the face and tell me to eff off. 

I kinda want to you know call him babe(idk why but I get this urge to call him that and I will be able to once we start dating ofcourse that is possible only if he's gay or atleast bi), I wanna cuddle with him in his bed or my bed, plant kisses on his face(including his lips), hold hands with him when we take an evening walk, have lunch together(we do that everyday though). Yeah I guess that's all.

petrak@1e: you sure? you falling for this guy? maybe you're just lonely. 

mart_in_pain: And now you're sounding like Hannah. 

petrak@1e: so hannah gets to know you're gay before i do? traitor. 

mart_in_pain: first of all, I'm not gay, secondly you're disappeared for 5 effing months. Hannah was the only person I could trust with a secret this big and this dangerous it could ruin me forever. Where were you for the last 5months?

petrak@1e: dude! my parents got divorced. i stay with my father now. mom got dennis' custody. i was depressed so i invited alexis and violet for a sleepover. alexis couldn't come, violet did. we're in my room smoking the joint and dad caught us. so he took away my paints, my kpop music collection, and ofcourse my internet connection. 

mart_in_pain: sorry dude. I was not there when you needed me. 

petrak@1e: it's okay man. you can make up for it by telling me about the guy who's made my friend gay. 

mart_in_pain. Not gay... you know what? Cool, gay or whatever. Okay? So.. he's Miguel. Um, he plays football for our school. Always busy. You'll either see him with his football teammates or alone.

petrak@1e: oh please, skip this boring part. tell me how you two met, when did you first felt butterflies in your tummy. 

mart_in_pain: okay. So it was second week of school. I had seen him during football trials already. So I kinda knew his name. I saw him sitting at lunch alone. So I grabbed a chair, asked if I could sit there. I was sitting next to him. I said hi to him and smiled. He smiled back, awkwardly. While I sat there, I thought I'd introduce myself and tell him that I'm his classmate. He might open up, feel a little comfortable. So we sat there eating our lunch and talking until he finished his lunch and left. 

petrak@1e: was this when you first felt you like him? 

mart_in_pain: No. It wasn't until I started noticing him more. In school corridors, library, cafeteria, homeroom, even the men's room. 

petrak@1e: fuck. the men's room? 

petrak@1e: oh yeah you both are guys, my bad. 

mart_in_pain: It was during homeroom one fine day that we had like an actual conversation. He and I share almost the same classes. So we were doing our schoolwork and he came and sat next to me asked me if I could help him. I was kinda shocked. Later after school, I saw him waiting by my locker(I'm wonder how he knew my locker.) We didn't say anything to each other. When I started walking towards the exit he followed me. I stopped in my way and let him catch up. Then I said hi to him. He asked me if we could walk together. I was like yeah sure. 

petrak@1e: dude, he's in love with you. 

mart_in_pain: no he isn't. Let me complete then conclude. Okay. So we walk two blocks south then we stop at a store. He walks in. So I thought he needs to buy something so I followed him. But I saw him putting the tshirt oh which btw was the first time I saw his stomach muscles dude I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Then I realised that he works there. Then I ofcourse to avoid any sort of conversation left and went home. That night I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing in my bed. I kept thinking of the everything that had happened that day. And I realised that it's the same feeling. The feeling when you know you have fallen for someone. 

petrak@1e: you pervert staring at some guy's stomach muscles. 

mart_in_pain: Yeah okay. Call me a pervert. 

mart_in_pain: For the next three weeks, he would wait by my locker. Unless he had football practice. One day I asked him to help me with an assignment which we had to do on our computers (you know how bad I'm with those things like I'm some 70yo man.) I asked him to come over. We're working on our computers and our hands touched one or twice by mistake. But this one time I'm pretty sure he wanted it. He was holding the mouse and he was trying to find a textbox icon and I'm telling him it's right there on the screen but he couldn't understand my directions. So I placed my palm over his, gripped the mouse, his fingers sort of making space to fit my fingers in between them(my heart was beating so fast I was afraid he'll hear it). 

petrak@1e: dude that is so cute! 

mart_in_pain: Ikr. But after that day he didn't wait by my locker. I didn't see him at lunch, didn't see him in the homeroom. He didn't reply to my texts. So I thought I should call him. I got his contact number from Tristan. I tried calling him twice that evening before dinner. I came back to room after dinner and I heard my phone ringing. And it was him. It was Miguel. The conversation went like this–

Miguel: Hello. 

Martin: Hello. Miguel? 

Miguel: Yes. 

Martin: Hi. It's me Martin. 

Miguel: Hey. How are you man? Sorry I couldn't answer your calls earlier. 

Martin: Or reply to my texts. But that's okay. Wait it's not. I hate people who don't text me back and leave me hanging, making me look like a fool. 

Miguel: So now you hate me? 

Martin: Yes I hate you. 

Miguel: How do I change that? 

Martin: Hannah's throwing her birthday party tomorrow. And you are coming.

Miguel: But I'm not invited. What if she doesn't want me there. 

Martin: She won't mind. She's my new best friend now. And I love all my friends. And they love me.

Miguel: But you said you hate me. Are we not friends?

Martin: But I also said my friends love me. If we're friends, do you love me? 

Miguel: Text me the address and the time. And I'll be there. Okay see you tomorrow. 

Martin: Yeah cool. See you. Miguel.

So we met the next day at Hannah's party. Ofcourse he was late. I introduced him to Hannah and Tristan and Caleb. Hannah ofcourse wouldn't miss a chance. She grabbed me by my arm and pulled me on the dance floor. We danced for a while and then she left me in the middle of the dance floor. Then I saw her doing the worst thing she could. She asked Miguel to join me on the dance floor pretending she's got tired and needs a drink. And to my surprise, Miguel walked to me, grabbed my hand, placed it on his shoulder, placed his on ms waist and pulled me close to him and we danced. I was blushing so hard I wanted someone to kill me right there. Or make him kiss me. When that thought crossed my head. I wanted to kiss him. 

petrak@1e: he danced with you, he came to the party. he loves you. 

petrak@1e: also i can't even imagine you kissing a guy. 

mart_in_pain: Let's not jump to any conclusions now, Petra. 

mart_in_pain: After that dance, I could not think of anything else but him. The party was last week. So nothing new has happened since then. Everything's back to normal. Miguel and I text each other like we used to. He told me his mother was not well and his sister is too young to do any chores. So he stayed home to take care of his mother. He then asked me if I still hate him. I replied "I love all my friends and you're my friend, Miguel Carlos Garcia Santiago." 

petrak@1e: you planning to tell him you love him? ask him out on a date? just ask him. if he says no. tell him it was dare. it was a part of a some game you and your friends were playing. 

mart_in_pain: sure. It was nice getting you back in my life, Petra. I will always need you. You know that right. 

petrak@1e: oh yes i do. I'll always be there for my friends. go ask that boy on a date. and tell me how it goes.

mart_in_pain: goodnight. 

petrak@1e: goodnight.