The Guy From Work

He was jealous, angry, and bitter. Just the mention of "the guy from work" made his insecurities boil up inside of him. Peter didn't like feeling this way, but the lessons he learned from the past were too hard wired in him. Women were evil to him, but he needed their love, or at least, he believed he did. After all society tells us that we are failures if we are not loved. Something that the 41 year old didn't realize is, that if one is unable to love themselves, than it would be impossible for anyone else to.

He had been dating Julie for about three months, but lately she had seemed distant, too busy. It seemed out of character for her. Peter was trying to accept it, to give her the space she needed, and she even called him the dreaded "clingy" word. He would try to give her a few days in between texts, sometimes not contacting her for a few days, but it was beginning to drive him mad. Where was she? What was she doing? "I can't contact her now, it'll look desperate, she said I was clingy", he thought. Oh well, to Hell with it. You only live once. Peter than made the mistake of texting her, and his worse fears were about to be realized.

"Hey Julie, how's your night going?", that was his first message. He was at home, it was 8:42 pm, he hadn't heard from her since Wednesday, and it was Friday now, so he thought, it should be okay. Five minutes had passed. No response. Perhaps she's busy, I'll just jump in the shower and see if she responds a little later. Peter got in the shower hoping to hear that dopamine inducing ping from a distance. As he showered he had thought about their most recent encounter. Things with Julie had started taking a slightly sour turn. He had dinner with her on Sunday, at a pizza shop down on Turner Street. Peter had fallen on hard times lately, he lost his good paying job as an account manager for Citibank, and in a crisis, he ended up getting a job at a warehouse for $12 an hour. Julie said she didn't care about the money, and she was happy just to spend time with him, but Peter knew in his heart a woman like her costs. She was a secretary at a law firm, and made a nice middle class income. There was a new intern at the law firm, John Lancome, and she and him had become fast friends. He was rich, tall, handsome, and he loved country music just like her. He drove a late model Tesla and lived in a cool apartment downtown. Julie had been mentioning him a lot more lately, and oh "he's just so funny". But she told Peter, "there's nothing to worry about, we're just friends". Of course, he wasn't stupid, he knew that there was something more going on, or there would be soon.

Peter got out of the shower and started to dry himself off, he couldn't help but reach for his phone which lay on his bathroom sink, just to see if maybe he missed the ping. The time was now 9:24pm, no ping, no message, no missed calls. He began to feel this horrible feeling come over him, like a bad feeling in his stomach. He started to think she's probably out having a drink with him right now, it is Friday night, and there's that bar across the street from the law firm. Peter's visions became even grimmer, he could just see them together, her laughing and twisting her long blonde hair in her beautifully manicured fingers, while he casually touched her stocking covered leg, in his $2000 suit and Armani watch. The thoughts were pure torture, 9:43pm, no response.

"Okay, I need to calm down", he thought, this is all in my head. She might be at home reading a book, or fell asleep. Maybe she didn't see the message? Maybe I should send another one? I mean it's been over an hour, how could she not respond to it, unless she hadn't seen it?

"Hey, is everything okay? Just wondering where you are?". He was afraid to hit "send", but he felt like it was the right thing to do. It was after all 10:02 pm, over an hour after he had sent the first message. Surprisingly, she sent him a text back right away, but his worst fears were about to come true.

"Sorry, I'm hanging out with some co-workers at John's house, don't wait up".

The message was devastating. Peter was sitting in his recliner in his living room when the message came in and he threw his phone in disgust. He let out a cry and grabbed his hair with his hands, then cradled his face in his palms. "Oh my God, oh my God" he just kept repeating those words.

He had felt defeated. First he lost his job, and now it looks like he lost his girlfriend. The pain was unbearable. Peter had walked out onto his balcony overlooking the nighttime city skyline, and he had thought about jumping, the ten story fall would have killed him. He stopped along the banister of the balcony, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The air was cool that night and there was a certain peace to it. He opened his eyes and just observed the beauty of everything. He forgot for a moment all his troubles and he was here now. In this moment, he was okay. This was all part of life. He started to cry with happiness, as if he were saved by an invisible force, as though an angel had opened his eyes to the beauty of the world and forced him to look. It was in that moment, that another text appeared on his phone. Peter was terrified to look, but he opened the message.

"Hey.. I'm on my way over to your place, hope that's cool, I'm a little drunk. Also, I guess I never mentioned this, but John from work is gay, and tonight he was having a little engagement party, see you in ten minutes! I love you!"