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Drama Fiction Latinx

    It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark. The young Bell girls gasped, “The power went out.” Vicky and Allison had colds, and were soon covered in extra blankets by their concerned mother, Naomi. 

       Naomi went to the candle cupboard and brought out matches. It was times like these that she was thankful for her moderate scented candle addiction. Sicilian lemon, gingerbread, balsam fir, they would all be lit, and spaced out throughout their ranch home. What would that smell like? It was their first winter in northern Texas, and she couldn’t believe how cold it was in February. They had been mini-golfing in January, and it had felt like a mild autumn day that day.

       A few years ago in Streamwood Illinois, the power had gone out, and they whiled away the candlelit hours with a battery- powered radio, even having a little dance party. The girls had such fun, they actually wanted another power outage. Careful what you wish for.

        Naomi was starting to feel her fingers get cold, and put on another sweater. At least they had a gas stove and matches. The little fake fireplace in the living room did very little, even when the power was working. She thought, let’s get through this and be cheerful.

       First, she strode towards the kitchen and lit a burner. Then she put a pan of water on to simmer, and add warm moisture to the air. Then she ran around making sure every door and window was sealed tight. They could make spaghetti with meat sauce later. Time to get more blankets and find a way to get by without technology. The radio had been lost years ago. What if I told an adventure story?, Naomi thought.

         “Girls, I never told you the story about the daring young man who saved a small town!”

    “Please tell us Mom,” said Vicky.

“Once upon a time, not long ago,  there was a restless young man named Raul. Raul lived in a town where people lived well, though near mountains and desolate areas. It was called Calla. Calla flourished with healthy cattle, fruits of the earth, and blooming fragrant flowers. Everyone had nice clothes and food on the table, except a very few who begged for charity. Raul was the eldest son of his family. His father was the locksmith and his mother a nurse and midwife.  He loved reading stories about daring figures like The Scarlet Pimpernel and The Count of Monte Cristo. Raul longed for a bold adventure.

   When Raul turned twenty-two, an imposing man and his friends arrived in town. They quickly took over the law enforcement of the town, forced the mayor to resign, and set up a dictatorship. 

     The leader declared himself to be Don Calvo, the new King in town. He was a tall, stout man with a silky mustache. His four companions were all younger, slimmer, and very impressed with their leader. They took the best of what there was to offer, and moved on, if things dried up in a particular place. 

They were clever, and always selected a few locals to bribe in order to earn quick loyalty.

      New town rules emerged. No young woman could marry without Don Calvo’s permission. If he denied the union, Don Calvo would offer his own protection to the lady. If she refused him, her family would be taxed 200% until she relent,

accept Don Calvo,  then her family would be free of taxes.”

   “Mom, what did he mean by offering his protection to the lady?” said Allison. 

   “That means he wanted to add her to his own household, like a mistress in a harem.”

“What a wicked villain!” said Vicky.

    “He also taxed everyone one third of their earnings. The people had lived in a happy state before, collecting a bit for the civil services and bartering. He threatened to take over anyone’s property if they drove out of town. People soon grew angry and tried to mobilize against Don Calvo and his brutish friends.

Twice, the townsmen, including Raul’s father Simon, tried to plan an overthrow of the dictator, but each time there was a mole listening in, a local who had been bribed, who then went to Don Calvo with the details. Their attempts were foiled. Each time, a man had been badly beaten by Nico and Bruno, two of Don Calvo’s thugs.

       After the second attempt, Don Calvo decided to deter future opposition by a public hanging of the “ringleaders.” Three men were selected to be executed in a week in the town square. The three were thrown into the local jail. This horrified the people of Calla, even those who had been moles. They repented of giving Don Calvo information. Raul was relieved to find his father was to remain free. His determination grew to outwit this ogre and his weaselly men who dared take over this once peaceful town. He could not let this monster kill his friends, well, the fathers of his friends, and keep oppressing everyone. 

     Raul had been studying the new group and their habits. Don Calvo napped every afternoon, from two to five without fail. He and his men liked to try new restaurants in neighboring towns, and so Calla would be free of them from 6-8 every evening. “

        At this point, Naomi grabbed two mugs with peach tea bags, and ladled hot water in them for her girls. She then proceeded.

      “Raul had made a list of things in his favor to commit a Pimpernel-style caper. One, his father was about the same height and girth as Don Calvo. Two, Raul resembled one of Don Calvo’s men named Marco. Three, the jail cell imprisoning the three condemned men had a weak lock, and no one manned the jail in the evenings.

        Meanwhile, the town was falling into a miserable gloom. The lovely Rosa had caught Don Calvo’s eye, and Raul’s friend Dom despaired of getting permission from the tyrant to engage himself to Rosa. Dom’s own father had been beaten severely by Nico and Bruno for one of the attempts to overthrow the dictator. These men had to be stopped. Raul began to let his father into his confidence. Raul’s mother had a part to play too. She had access to sleeping pills that could really knock someone out. 

            Boldly, Raul seized the day, two days before the scheduled hangings.  Raul had a friend Paolo who had pretended to befriend the ruffians in charge. He often gave them advice about which restaurants to visit. Raul told Paolo to tell them Don Calvo had special plans for tonight. 

         Raul went to his mother and asked for a lock of her smooth dark hair. He also was given a small sachet of pills. 

        Next, in the town hall, Raul offered Marco a cup of tea. He held his breath as Marco thanked him and sipped it unsuspectingly. As Marco grew very sleepy, Raul led him to a nearby room and stripped him of his hat, shirt, belt, and pants. He would be Marco for the rest of the day. Marco had a deeper voice than him, and his eyes were smaller. Raul practiced squinting and lowering his voice with a confident air. 

       Raul went searching for Dom, because together they had to place the sleeping Marco in the trunk of the car that carried the group to dinner. It was fortunate that Raul found Dom alone, because Dom thought it was Marco approaching and stiffened.  Raul grinned, but said, “It’s me, Raul. I’m impersonating Marco because today I’m hoping to rid this town of Don Calvo and his men. Help me get their car to the

town hall where Marco’s sleeping body lies.”

       They found the car with the keys inside, what luck! Raul drove to the town hall and parked in the back. He led Dom to the room where the unconscious Marco was. To their horror, Don Calvo was waiting for them!

“What have you done to Marco!” 

Raul tried to remember how his uncle had taught him to punch, and hit Don Calvo hard in the face. 

Don Calvo went down instantly. Dom suppressed a sound of triumph. 

“There’s no going back now, Dom,” said Raul quietly. “We have to rid the town of these men tonight!”

Now there were two unconscious men for the trunk of the car. They searched the town hall for some rope, Raul even imitated Marco and asked a few people. They found some and hurried back to their captives. Gagging Don Calvo’s mouth was a first priority, then his hands. They then did the same for Marco. Taking the rug from the floor, they rolled Don Calvo in it and the two of them carried their heavy burden to the trunk of the car. Snatching another rug from a nearby room, they rolled Marco in it, and did the same. They were unhindered as they did this in broad daylight! It helped that the townspeople instinctively looked away when Don Calvo or his men approached, not wanting to interact with them. With Marco’s distinctive black hat, Raul’s disguise was good. 

     A few hours remained until the whole nasty group would ride off for dinner. Raul and Dom needed Simon to join in the deception. They parked the car behind Raul’s house where his father had a smithy attached. Simon needed to be a good actor for this. With difficulty, the two young men removed Don Calvo’s shirt, and grabbed his boots. They then went and told Simon their bold plan. Simon would need to impersonate Don Calvo this evening. Fortunately, he had hours to prepare, as Don Calvo was supposed to be having his siesta. 

      “What’s a siesta, Mom?”

“It’s an afternoon nap that many take in hot countries, like Mexico.”

“Raul produced the lock of hair that his mother had donated. He and Dom had a hilarious time fashioning a mustache for Simon, and gluing it on at last. They dressed him in Don Calvo’s shirt, traded his father’s shoes for Don Calvo’s boots and hoped he would fool the three remaining men in the dimming light.  

       The plan was bold and risky. Raul would approach the others as Marco, and lure them to Simon and the car. Then as the others piled in to the sedan, Raul/Marco would leave his dad behind, saying Don Calvo would join us later at the restaurant. Then Raul would take the passenger seat, and direct one of the others to drive. He would lead them right into danger, and had to hope he could escape the car in time!

There was also the risk one of the captives in the back would awake and start making noise from the trunk. 

           Raul sent Dom to the town limits to remove a warning sign about a dangerous curve in the road. He told his father to go free the jailed men as soon as they drove away this evening. He then practiced his Marco voice more. He had to keep his nerves in check.

        The time flew by. The hour had come. Raul had an idea to buy quiet time, if Don Calvo was restless. He opened the trunk to see Marco still sleeping, but Don Calvo glaring at him through a black eye, still gagged. Raul offered him some water, not mentioning the water contained a dissolved sleeping pill. He ungagged Don Calvo, and as Don Calvo began to shout, Raul threatened to punch him again. Don Calvo quieted down, and accepted the water. He choked on it a little, as he was in a bad position for drinking, but Raul hoped it would do the trick. Just to be safe, he gagged Don Calvo again, tighter.

Slamming the trunk lid down, he hopped in to find the rest of the ruffians.

      The three remaining men were at their usual haunt, the local bar. They liked to play darts and billiards before going off to dinner. They accepted Raul/Marco’s escort and got into the car with him. Raul had a piece of blank paper with him he would pretend to be a map to the new restaurant. Raul/Marco told Nico to drive and tossed him the keys. He sat in the passenger seat, pretending to be relaxed. Every nerve was taut. He might be joining them in disaster if he wasn’t careful. 

   They drove to a shady spot of the road to which Raul directed, saying Don Calvo was meeting them there. As Simon stood there, watching the approaching car, beads of sweat broke out on his forehead. He hoped all would work out, or he and his boy would hang. 

       Nico rolled down his window and said,

“Hop in boss. We’re hungry.”

Simon tried as hard as he could to imitate Don Calvo’s air of authority and said, “Marco and I have to discuss something first.”

Raul jumped out to take his father aside. “ The plan is going well, Dad. I’ll tell them you have to deal with the locksmith first, and then you’ll have him drive you to the restaurant.”

“Ok son, God be with you.”

Raul rejoined the others as Marco.

Nico said, “So what’s this special plan for tonight Paolo was mentioning?”

Raul gruffly said, “ Don Calvo’s coming later, after he deals with the locksmith. He told me which way to go tonight, new restaurant.”

Raul began to give Nico the instructions to drive out of town. 

Dom appeared to Simon, and offered him a ride to the jail to rescue the condemned men. In the car, Simon pried the mustache off his upper lip area. Simon felt so relieved to be done with his disguise, but worried about Raul. Would he make it back? he anxiously thought. 

   At the jail, Simon pulled out his picks, and the jail door opened easily, while the hungry men wept with gratitude, embracing Dom and Simon.. All the town soon learned the plan and prayed that Raul could carry it through. 

     Raul quietly unlocked his car door as they approached the town limits. There was a cliff just past the dangerous curve that he was hoping not to join them in exploring! 

    Nico was driving fast. Raul had told him to go straight on for some miles. Raul surreptitiously undid his seat belt. Raul never went this way,  so he was caught off guard at how soon the dangerous turn came. The car careened off the road headlong into a deep cliff as Raul opened the door and jumped out! The other men just stared in horror as the car plunged down what had to be five hundred feet at least! Fortunately, a large shrub caught Raul near the top of the cliff and held him fast. He felt a searing pain in his side, and branches scratched his face.

      The car hit the bottom of the cliff, and exploded! The three men never knew their leader and the real Marco were with them the whole time. 

     It seemed like an eternity that Raul lay in the shrub. Finally Dom came, to replace the sign and see what he could in the darkness. He saw the wreckage at the bottom of the cliff and hoped Raul was not there. The headlights of his car just fell on the corner of Raul’s blood-stained face on the shrub. 

“Raul!,” Dom shouted.  “I’ll go get help! Hold on!”

Dom raced back to town to enlist the help of the town fireman who had a long ladder. Together, they took aim at the shrub and anchored the long ladder down there, leaning it to the cliff top. Dom

volunteered to make the dangerous rescue. He hopped on the ladder, and felt it sway a little. Hope this works! 

        “Dom, you found me! I think I’ve broken a rib.”

“Raul, this might hurt, but it’s the only way.”

Dom lifted Raul on his back, holding tight to his one arm, and started the ascent up the ladder. The ladder teetered a bit as they reached the top. Simon, and the men they saved, grabbed at them both to hoist them up, just as the ladder toppled down the cliff, along with the shrub!! Raul groaned. Everyone agreed to drive Raul home to his mother, the nurse, who could attend to his ribs and minor injuries.

        The town celebrated that night. It felt like the end of a long nightmare. Everyone brought out food, and there was music and dancing. Most of all, everyone wished to visit and thank Raul for his daring plan, starting with the families of the three condemned men. Raul was happy it worked out well enough. His rib would heal. What an adventure it had been! It would be adventure enough now to attend Dom’s wedding to happy Rosa. Calla was once more a happy place for them all.”

 “Now girls, Raul’s methods were extreme, but these men really were a menace to society. Nowadays we have secure prisons for lawless characters like Don Calvo.”

(A flicker, then light bathed the room.)

“Wow, the power just came back on at the end of the story!”

“Mom, can we turn off the lights, and have another story?”

“Time for me to make dinner, and now we can have garlic bread too!”

“Yayy!” the girls cried in unison.

March 12, 2023 17:56

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2 comments

John Jones
13:42 Mar 23, 2023

I liked the story within a story concept. I think the story of the young man who saved the town was a bit hard to follow and rambled. I would improve the characterizations to have the characters stand out more and make you want to root for them. When writing a story to a certain number of words, in the Prompts contests it is a max of 3K, make every word count and mean something. Keep it crisp and clear.

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Odile Glatz
20:31 Mar 23, 2023

Thanks so much! I will take better care to make the characters more sympathetic. I appreciate it.

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