white boy

Submitted into Contest #203 in response to: Start your story in the middle of the action.... view prompt


Contemporary Friendship Funny

“White boy, white boy, whatcha gonna do? Watcha gonna do when they come for you?”

“Claire, STOP! Not funny or appropriate….”

“What? He’s white, a boy, and you called the authorities, so..”

“Claire, can you not? How can you joke about it?...”

“You know dark humor’s my go-to in stressful times. It’d be yours too if you had a stepdad like  mine.” 

Kenna twisted her face, “Ew. True.”

Gripping the wheel tightly, Kenna turned onto the street leading to the private community entrance where she had seen him earlier, distressed and talking to himself.

Claire pointed to the farthest parking lot where the townhomes butted against a greenbelt. 

“There they are! See the flashing lights?”

Kenna slammed on her brakes, lurching Claire forward, her head the dashboard.

“THE F*CK, KENNA?! OW! Oh my god!”

“Sorry! Sorry! I don’t think I can go through with this….” Kenna nervously chewed her bottom lip, chipped polish fingernails already down to nubs.

Rubbing her forehead, Claire scowled, 

“Jesus, Kenna. Fine. Then turn around so I can go home to ice my face”.

Kenna’s shoulders drooped down to her heart.

“He’s just a scared little boy on the inside, Claire. Acting out because he’s hurt. And now I might have made it worse.” 

Softening her tone, using her nickname, Claire tried to comfort her best friend, 

“You sure do love the bad boys, buggy. But you can’t save all the wounded souls”. 

Reaching out, Claire patted Kenna’s shoulder, “You did the right thing, I promise. One day soon, he’ll be healthy enough to thank you.”

Wiping away tears, Kenna sniffled, “You really think so?”

“I know so. Now drive so I can talk to that hottie with the body in uniform I just spotted….”

Kenna hesitated, “What if he knows it’s me who reported him?”

Claire reached for the passenger door handle, 

“Then stay here. I’ll bring back second-hand information. Half of which will get lost in translation because all I’m hearing is the call of that officer’s wild”. 

“Oh my god, Claire. Fine!”

Hat pulled low, oversized sunglasses on; Kenna shoved her hands deep into her coat pockets, slowing her steps as they got closer. Noticing the lag, Claire urged her on, 

“C’mon, buggy! No sign of your white boy, so I think you’re good.”

Kenna looked all around; Claire was right. Where was he?! Panicked, Kenna picked up her pace, breathless when she reached the officer dispatched to the scene., 

“Hi, um, I’m Kenna. The one who called. Where is he? Was he hurt?!…”

At Kenna’s side, Claire batted her thick lashes and, with a selfie smile, extended her hand to the young, handsome officer. 

“Hi, I’m Claire. Kenna’s friend. Single friend. Here for immoral, I mean moral, support.”

Tipping his hat, the officer gave a genuine smile. 

“Ma’am. Tyler Thomas. Pleased to meet y’all. The victim’s been transported to a medical facility. Ah promise he’ll pull through just fine. He’s gonna bay OK.”

Letting out a sob, Kenna clutched her coat, 

“Oh, my god! You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I was so worried. I just…”

Claire hugged her friend, then turned to the officer, “Do you have a card so I, I mean, WE, can contact you for an update on the case?” 

Grin crooked, teeth straight, Tyler handed Claire his card, 

“For you, ma’am. Y’all check in any time.” 

Flushed, Claire put the card in her pocket, scanning the reader board in her head for the best way to drop another single hint, landing on,

“It’s the right thing to do after everything he’s been through. I mean, if something awful happened to me, I’d have family and friends checking in. Not a boyfriend, though; we broke up. Not that I’m offering to date the poor guy Kenna found just to help him feel better. That would be super weird. Haha. Right, Kenna?”

But Kenna was on the phone, leaving a message for her mom. He was going to be OK! Sure, he’d have to be duped into believing he’s still independent while being supported by a system he’ll never understand or appreciate, but so what?! He’s OK!

A few feet away, Claire stood pigeon-toed in front of Officer Tyler, face turned up to him like he was the sun, basking in his southern charm. A habit since childhood, Claire would point her feet inward when she was especially nervous. Kenna thought it was cute, but Claire would knock her flat for pointing it out. Weaponized humor wasn’t Claire’s only defense. Kenna learned the hard way at six after making fun of Claire’s Polly Pocket inspired outfit. 

Impatient for details, Kenna interrupted the flirtatious exchange, 

“Hi, uh, officer. Which facility was he taken to? Maybe I can visit when he’s up to it….”

Annoyed by Kenna’s timing, Claire gritted her teeth and forced a smile, waving a piece of paper. “I got it!” then turned back to Tyler, voice candy sweet,

“Sorry for Kenna’s interruption, officer. You said you’re new to the area. Well, it just so happens I was a walking tour guide for three summers during college. I’d be happy to….”

Kenna tugged on Claire’s arm while speaking directly to Tyler, 

“Claire is the best tour guide you could ever ask for, and she’ll call you. C’mon, Claire, let’s go! What should I bring him? You know, for comfort. Teddy bear? Soft blanket? Not flowers...”

Calling out over her shoulder as Kenna pulled her along, Claire waved, 

“Bye, Officer Thomas! I’ll call you!” 

He waved back, “Call me Tyler! And also call me. On the phone. Nice meetin’ y’all!”

Once out of his earshot, Claire swooned, 

“Isn’t he handsome in his Animal Control uniform? Too bad I’m not a feral cat like your tattered little white boy. Maybe I could borrow my cousin’s tiger costume, and you could call me in. Then when Tyler shows up, I’ll jump out of my fur and yell, Surprise!

Giggling, Kenna and Claire hooked arms, “Well, Claire, it is a good day to be a kitty needing rescue. Just promise you won’t start using a litterbox.”

June 16, 2023 19:57

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Ken Cartisano
21:05 Jul 01, 2023

I love the way you write. The story didn't hook me, your writing did. The conversational beats and attributions make your dialogue brilliant. Very impressive writing for such a cute story.


Colleen Ireland
10:41 Jul 04, 2023

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it and appreciate the compliment!


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14:58 Jun 24, 2023

HAHA! Grins and giggles! Loved it! And I can picture Officer Tyler...This was excellent! Loved the twist at the end..Your characters were real: loved them al! Good work


Colleen Ireland
20:52 Jun 24, 2023

Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing it, so glad you enjoyed it!


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John Siddham
02:36 Jun 22, 2023

Excellent read and a nice twist! This was a killer line made me laugh "Here for immoral, I mean moral, support." Well done Colleen!


Colleen Ireland
14:31 Jun 22, 2023

Haha! Thank you, John!


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Tom Skye
19:18 Jun 19, 2023

This was a funny read. Really good energy to the whole thing. And good misdirection. Enjoyed it. Good job


Colleen Ireland
19:33 Jun 19, 2023

Thank you, Chris! I love double entendres and enjoy writing them even more.


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Unknown User
00:41 Jun 18, 2023

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Colleen Ireland
01:10 Jun 18, 2023

Thank you!


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