The Triumphant Exit

Submitted into Contest #198 in response to: Write a story about an unconventional teacher.... view prompt

17 comments

Adventure Inspirational Drama

Hamza ambled towards the squeamish student appearing to hide behind the cover of his notebook. As he came close to him, the student almost jumped out of his seat! Somewhat anticipating his reaction, he gently put a hand around his back and comfortingly smiled at him.

“Son, don’t be scared when you haven’t done a thing wrong! Swagger back at the bullies and put them in place!

The student whose name was Farooq, was quite astonished to see the accommodating behaviour of the teacher. He had been incriminated in a rowdy incident despite being the most well behaved child. Hamza, who had a gift for understanding character immediately understood the bogus claims of the accusation. Farooq, the poor student, anticipated some dressing down but it was replaced by a special tenderness that endeared him for life. Farooq’s problem was diffidence that had slowly seeped through the entire frame of his physical self as a result of a traumatized childhood and constant exposure to the school bullies. This small act of encouragement turned around Farooq’s life and he never looked back!

This was the trademark of Hamza! He would always peep deeply into the eyes of his students and detected the problem that was the cause of their academic retardation. He would develop a special relationship with his students that bordered on a sense of camaraderie rather than authoritarianism. (Aside) But hang on! Before you start being judgmental about the portrayal of the atypical features of this teacher, let me remind you that this is an eastern set up in which teacher dominates the class although the standards are changing here as well.

"I want you to be happy learners; someone who willingly swims in the sea of knowledge and extracts unlikely treasures.” Hamza deposited his charged statements right into the hearts of the students. He brimmed with positive energy. He would often engage the students in drawing upon their personal experiences and found a meaningful connection between their narrative and the routine classroom work. He always believed in the authority of authenticity as it replicated real life much better than traditional pedagogical materials. He struck an immediate connection of bon homie with his students and this pretty much drove away the customary fear of the teacher that was not allowing them to be themselves! The whole atmosphere wound down into a state of composure that was a great advertisement for this profession of professions!

Hamza worked in a private school. Once, he overheard the principal using the name of ‘client’ for the students. He was shocked beyond measure! How could the noble label of a student degenerate so much to be turned into a commercial commodity! Students were here to add to their knowledge and this concept has no connection with pecuniary gains.

On another occasion, Hamza’s classroom was invaded by an informer. She had been especially hired by the administration to keep tabs on all teachers’ activities.  However, she had run into someone who was known for defying any instruments that would impede his freedom. She started pacing the floor and seemed to examine Hamza’s teaching style and the response of the students. She would stop at every student’s desk and inspected their note books with a detective-like glance. And all this happened while the lesson was going on. Initially, Hamza tried to avoid this unwarranted interruption but after some time could not restrain himself.  Without mincing words, he pleaded his case. “I believe you are encroaching upon my private territory. This is not only a disruption of the classroom instruction but an assault on my teaching practices. I would request you to leave immediately before my restraint gives way to a more expressive verbal protest.” The headmistress looked at him with a wry smile and then disappeared from the room.

Hamza understood the fact that every student is different and responds to a different pattern of engagement. He identified the individual differences and treated every student accordingly. He would first observe them for hours like a doctor analyzing a problematic case study and recorded their attributes in his mind. Then, he would have a one-on-one meeting with them and made them psychologically relaxed.

His unusual approach did not go down well with the institution in which he was teaching. He was only a powerless member of this ‘commercial academic club’ and had limited maneuvering space.

He would often take his students to the college garden for the literature class and let them partake of the presence of nature around them. He meshed the poetic environment with the natural environment in an attempt to arouse their creativity by lifting the barriers between what they study and what happens in reality.

He was more of a friend with his students than their lord. This often snapped the drabness of the lesson and the freedom of discussion sometimes turned the classroom into a boisterous place. Once the principal was passing by the window, when she noticed the chatter of the students crossing the limits. She immediately released summons for the culprit. Hamza advanced to her office after the lesson.  She snapped at him, “You don’t seem to have control over your students. After all there is something called discipline.”

Hamza smiled in return and emphatically refused to take the blame.  “I would say I have more control over them. I rule their hearts and the obedience comes without trappings. What you saw was the misleading blurb of a book. The plot of the story takes an entirely different turn.”

The principal cast a look of disapproval, but said nothing else. He left the room in silence. There was a sense of triumph in his strides.

He always focused on getting knowledge rather than degrees even if it appeared to put the students’ immediate academic interests at risk.

During the parent-teacher meetings he would give a brutally honest account of the flaws or weaknesses of students before their doting mothers. He would also be politically incorrect most of the time and drew the ire of the management. He spoke openly about his disappointment regarding the educational standard of the institute. Now this was an intolerable offence for the private institution that one of its teachers would breach the foundations of the fortress on which it had been built. The next day, he was charge sheeted before the principal and asked to wear a diplomatic garb over his character. He was sternly warned of the implications of a second time! Hamza again protested and pleaded non guilty. He asserted.

“I was only telling the truth. It is the principle that I have lived by and I cannot dismantle my dearly held principles for any petty institutional compliance.”  

He could not accept double standards and always spoke his mind.

But the world operated differently. He wanted to introduce his own brand of education in the institute but he found himself pitted against the whole bureaucracy of the school. Soon he was ostracized and all his colleagues started to maintain their distance. He used to have one confrontation after another and it became awkwardly repetitive.

One fine day he found a white envelope on his desk.

He knew the content even before he opened it. He tore it into pieces without reading it and smiled his way out of the portals of the so called 'nursery of knowledge' to try his luck somewhere else. As he stepped out, he felt doubly sure of himself. There was a glint in his eye that illumined his entire frame. He had reassembled the declining reputation of a teacher by defending righteous behavior in the midst of fiercely opposing forces! It was an exit but a triumphant one!

May 18, 2023 14:02

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17 comments

03:40 May 29, 2023

Sounds a great teacher. The setting which you stated, helped us to understand how his method of teaching could be objectionable. Just a few points. 'Hamza ambled towards the squeamish student appearing to hide behind the cover of his notebook.' leave out squeamish as the teacher can only imagine the feeling of his student. It is telling and not showing and squeamish means easily made to feel sick or disgusted. I think he may be feeling embarrassment, fear, trepidation or nervousness but don't tell. He is hiding behind the cover of his noteb...

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Shahzad Ahmad
18:10 May 29, 2023

Dear Kaitlyn, I really appreciate your analysis. It will help me improve as a writer particularly your comments about 'showing' more than telling. Thanks for your profound yet instructive examination.

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08:02 May 30, 2023

Thank you Shahzad for your appreciation.

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Helen A Howard
16:11 May 28, 2023

This seems to be a theme that runs throughout when certain individuals take a stance that goes against the grain of the institution. I fear wherever Hamza went, he might face a similar problem from his peers. He was rightly proud to have made a difference to his pupil’s lives, particularly when it came to bullying.

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Shahzad Ahmad
19:39 May 28, 2023

Thanks Helen. Yes, you are right Fighting against an entrenched system is hard but there are people who find satisfaction in running against the current when it comes to the defence of their values.

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Helen A Howard
19:51 May 28, 2023

You certainly portrayed a great character here.

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Martin Ross
14:14 May 24, 2023

Teachers are so under attack today, and I greatly appreciated your defense of the good teacher who sees and tries to understand the individual student. “How could the noble label of a student degenerate so much to be turned into a commercial commodity!” I wanted to cheer — I had wonderful teachers who worked hard to bring out my best, to help me see my own worth, and to try to break through to the better instincts of the bullies. In such classes, the bullies often would become allies, because we were all treated as human beings with an imp...

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Shahzad Ahmad
14:39 May 24, 2023

Dear Martin, I am so happy to know that my story made an impact and you went through it deeply to realize my underlying message. You even quoted my words and it really encourages me to keep writing. Thanks for taking interest in my story.

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Martin Ross
14:54 May 24, 2023

You absolutely must continue writing. The ideas are where great fiction begins, and this is great truth and valuable insight. I look forward to your future works.

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Shahzad Ahmad
17:56 May 24, 2023

Thanks Martin. Your remarks are really motivating.

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Joe Smallwood
17:16 May 23, 2023

Hello Shahzad, Thank-you for reading one of my stories. Your story of an embattled teacher reminds me of two of mine, "The Bully Principal" and "Houd." Both of these stories happened in real life with only minor alterations. If I might make it a suggestion, try to do more show than tell. Show what you want the reader to know through dialogue and the action. It will mean that you can't say as much in your story, but it lets the reader make up their own mind about what they want to learn. I believe you have good things to say though! If you r...

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Shahzad Ahmad
12:56 May 24, 2023

Thanks for your useful comments especially of 'showing more than telling'

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Joe Smallwood
15:51 May 24, 2023

Hey, no problem!

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Mary Bendickson
18:54 May 22, 2023

Sounds like this is a case of a good teacher being bullied by his peers and superiors 'The next day, he was charge sheeted by the principal...' should the word be 'cheated'? Thanks for liking my 'The Alternate'

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Shahzad Ahmad
14:02 May 24, 2023

Thanks Mary for your insightful comments. Your suggestion of 'cheated' sums up the situation perfectly. Your encouragement is valuable.

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Mike Panasitti
16:06 Jul 11, 2023

Another great story Shahzad. Perhaps one with an autobiographical foundation? I've noticed some of the commentators have drawn attention to the manner in which you "tell" rather than "show." Authors have the prerogative to develop a unique style, and "telling" through exposition may just reflect a stylistic choice. Don't be daunted by detractors. Pave your own path. You will doubtlessly arrive to your destination.

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Shahzad Ahmad
16:18 Jul 11, 2023

Thanks Mike for your honest comments. Yes it has some autobiographical background. Also thanks for highlighting 'stylistic' choice component in terms of my development as a writer. Your comments are so useful and make me so happy. May God make your stories and life kick off in the same way as you have done mine. I am really grateful to you.

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