JOHNNY TALKS TO SNAKES

A flat tire. What’s there to cause a flat tire? There’s nothing out here! Johnny looked at the left front of the car, and there was no denying it; the tire was flat. Grumbling obscenities, he walked back to the trunk. Thank God, there’s the spare. He searched for the stuff to change it with. There! What’s it called? A jack. He looked at the flimsy thing and wondered. He shrugged his eighteen-year-old shoulders and placed it under the left front quarter panel. What now? How would he raise it and the car? He went back to the trunk and found the thing to remove the tire with, under the spare.

           The spare was flat.

           Johnny grabbed the tire thing, intent on doing some damage. He walked to the flat tire, brought the steel thing back, gritting his teeth, and—

           “Don’t do that.”

           Johnny looked around. Nobody. “Who said that?”

           “I did, kid.”

           Johnny looked by the flat and saw a snake. He redirected the steel club to the snake and swung. Got it!

           He sat next to his flat tire, leaning against the crappy old Tauris. His father tried to teach him to change a tire once, but who wants to listen to their dad? ‘Get the jack and tire iron…’ Oh yeah. He’d hit the snake with a tire iron. He looked down at the creature, exhaled the rage he’d just shown, and said, “Sorry, snake.”

           “Then why did you do it?”

           Johnny looked down at the dead snake. He shook it. It was still dead, but he noticed the rattle on the tail now. “You talking to me?”

           “I am, punk.” The other snake was much bigger than the dead one. It was out of Johnny’s reach and the rattles were a-rattling. “Are you going to chance a swing at me with that thing?”

           Johnny closed his eyes hard then opened them. “No. If you’re going to kill me, then just do it. I don’t care.”

           The rattling stopped. “Do you see the poison on my fangs?” The snake hissed and gave Johnny a look at its glistening poison.

           The tire iron slipped from Johnny’s grip and fell to the hardened dirt road. “I see them. Just kill me already.”

           The snake closed its gaping mouth and slithered nearer to taste the air of its fellow snake with a flickering tongue. “To be honest, kid, I’m saving that for a field mouse or some such.” It tested the air with its tongue again. “It probably wouldn’t kill you, and if I did, do you think I could eat you? No, it would be a waste of resources.” The snake slithered over Johnny’s leg and stopped four feet away. “You’re a brave soul. Most people would scream at the touch of a snake such as I.”

           “I’m probably just seeing things anyway. Wouldn’t you want to kill me for killing your brother?”

           “No, that was no kin of mine. Kept poaching in my area. You did me a favor.” The snake crawled over Johnny’s feet and said, “Come hunting with me.”

           Johnny shrugged and followed the snake into a field. 

           “So, why are you out here?” the snake asked as it disappeared into a clump of sagebrush.

           “Its my dad,” Johnny said to the brush. “He’s…” He raised his hands to the top of his head. “He’s stupid and ignorant! He’s so boring! He doesn’t understand me!”

           The snake reappeared to the left of the brush. “I doubt he’s stupid. You’re making assumptions, kid.”

           Johnny’s hands went from his head to slap his thighs. “What do you know about it?”

           “My little cousin, lying on the side of the road? Yeah, he was so smart, waiting to rattle with you and your club within striking distance. He thought he was smart.” A hiss of derision. It looked up at Johnny. “Could your dad change the tire?”

           Johnny growled through clenched teeth.

           The snake turned away and zigzagged towards the next sagebrush. “I don’t think he’s stupid or ignorant, kid. As for boring? It’s a harsh world out here. Perhaps he’s just cautious. And, he doesn’t understand you? He was you.” The snake said this from the next brush. “And, kid, there’s one more thing.”

           Johnny walked towards the snake. “What’s that?”

           A huge, brown boulder fell from the sky onto the snake and then bounced back up. Johnny watched the golden eagle fly away with the snake. The eagle landed on a rise about a hundred yards away.

           “Wait!” Johnny yelled. “Wait up! Don’t eat it!” He ran toward the eagle, screaming and waving his arms. He finally made it to the rise, which was too tall for him to scale. “Don’t eat it, it was about to tell me something else.”

           The eagle was tearing into its meal; the snake was dead. The eagle ate with one eye on Johnny.

           “Do you know what else it was going to say?” Johnny asked.

           Its mouth full, the eagle responded, “Look up.”

                                                                       ***

                       Johnny woke up to sweat and a muffled scream. It took many seconds to realize he was in his room. He got up and went to the kitchen.

           “Did you have a nice nap?” Johnny’s mom asked.

           Something small came into his mind and went straight towards his mouth. Johnny took a deep breath and instead said, “Yeah, mom. Have you seen dad?”

           “He was in the driveway the last I saw.” She gave him a wink.

           Johnny looked at her, fought the urge to say sarcasm, shrugged his shoulders, and said, “Thanks, mom.”

           He walked out to the driveway. His dad had the hood up on his crappy Taurus and was underneath it, muttering swears. “Hey, dad.”

           Dad gave a start and banged his head on the hood. Rubbing the bump, he said, “It’s like you said, son, I guess I’m not the brightest bulb on the block.”

           Instead of taking the bait, Johnny asked, “What are you doing?”

           “Well, we had a pretty good fight there, son. You said you wanted to drive to the desert, so I thought I’d check out your car.” He pulled out a bandana from his back pocket and wiped his hands off. Johnny thought That’s why he carries those around. “I’m trying to give you some space.”

           “I meant, what are you doing? Under the hood.”

           “Oh. Well, I checked your fluids, topped off the oil and the wiper fluid,” dad was bending down low in the engine. “Now its acting like it’s running on three cylinders.”

           Johnny tried to look where his dad was looking, but only saw stuff and more stuff. Out of nowhere, Johnny said, “Look up.”

           His dad did. “Oh. I knocked a sparkplug wire loose.” He stood up straight and reattached the wire, Johnny watching closely and memorizing the words ‘sparkplug wire.’ “Get in and start ‘er up.”

           Johnny did and revved it. The car was running as good as it ever had, and probably ever would. Johnny turned off the ignition. He approached dad as he closed the hood. “I was wondering if you could go to the desert with me.” Dad stopped wiping his hands on the bandana and stared at his son. “I mean, like, you know it better than I do. You could, you know, show me stuff?”

           “Are you sure?” He put the bandana away, in his back pocket. “I thought you’d want to be alone. Away from your old man.” He scratched his chin. “The reason I got to know the desert so well was because I needed a break from the old man.”

           “I, uh…I had a dream. I don’t want to go alone this time. Besides, could gramps be as big a pain in the ass as you?”

           Dad laughed. “I thought bigger, but, lately, I wonder…”

           They were getting in the car, Johnny in the driver’s seat. “Uh oh. Does the spare tire have air?”

           “Good catch, son.” Dad slammed his door shut. “It was flat as a pancake. I filled it and it’s holding air.” Johnny got in and started the engine. “First we’ll stop and get water. You want plenty of water and then some out there. In case you break down or something.” He turned to Johnny. “You had a dream?”

           Johnny backed carefully into the street. Putting it in drive he said, “There were these two snakes….”