Come on Duke

“Come on Duke, let’s head inside.” Mike said as he picked up the slobbery wet ball Duke had just dropped at his feet. 

Duke looked up at his owner with sadness in his eyes. Mike looked down at Duke with the same expression. Sadness. Mike didn’t want to go inside either. Everything inside the tiny ranch house reminded him of Annie. The old furniture, the cleanliness, even the smell. After all this time the house still smelled like lavender. Maybe it was just his imagination. 

She had been gone for a year now. Taken from him too soon. She had left one Saturday morning to go on a jog. He had stayed home to work on their bathroom renovation. This old house wasn’t what it used to be. Every time they made a little money they put it into repairs or updates on the house. Forty-five minutes later the police came knocking at the door. As Mike opened it he could tell by the uncomfortable looks on the officer’s faces that it was bad news. While out running Annie had been struck and killed by a drunk driver. Some of the neighbors who had witnessed the horrifying incident had called the paramedics immediately but by the time they arrived it was too late. In forty-five minutes Mike had lost everything. Well, almost everything. There was still Duke. Duke and the kids, but the kids were grown up and living their own lives. 

Duke had been a present from Annie on their tenth wedding anniversary. When Mike had first seen the box wriggling and shaking his first thought was, “God, I hope it’s not a cat.” When he heard the barking he was relieved. Opening the box he saw a pint sized Golden Retriever. As he stared down into those wet, dark brown eyes he knew that this was his dog.  From that first look and for the next ten years Duke and Mike were inseparable. Duke went with him everywhere. Truck rides, work at the woodshop, even to the grocery store. If Mike left the house, Duke left the house. Even on their worst of days. And this day was one of them. 

Mike went into his bedroom and changed into a crisp blue button up shirt and his nicer pair of blue jeans. Walking over to the mirror he looked and could see the bags under his eyes and the tiredness of his face and skin. All of him looked and felt especially thin today. It was not easy to go visit Annie’s gravestone at the cemetery. He tried to go every week and most of the time he made it. This day, however, the one year anniversary of her death was proving more difficult to get moving. He stood for a long time looking around. He found it too hard to change anything after Annie’s death. The furniture was in the same spot. The bathroom was stuck in mid-renovation. He couldn’t finish it. He had tried, but the feelings of loss intensified when he stepped into the room. He felt stuck. He didn’t want to move on without her, and he didn’t want to look back at all he was now missing. 

As he and Duke started to walk out of the house the phone rang. Shuffling slowly over he picked it up.

“Hello”, said Mike.

“Hey Dad”, responded a voice that sounded like Mike’s but was a touch deeper, “Liz and I are heading over there now. Do you want us to come pick you up?” 

“No, I’m ok.”, Mike lied, “I prefer to walk.”

“Ok, we will see you soon. We love you dad.”

“I love you too William.” Mike hung up the phone and turned back to the door. 

“Come on Duke” he said over his shoulder as he walked out. 

The walk took ten minutes. Minus the cemetery part it had been one of His and Annie’s favorite walking spots. On cool afternoons and early evenings they would walk the ten minutes down and around the outside perimeter of the cemetery and then back. It took half an hour and was one of his favorite things to do. They would let Duke run loose through the cemetery and call to him on the other side. Immediately he would come bounding over to them out of breath but never dirty. 

Mike was the first to arrive. As he looked around the lonely secluded cemetery he couldn’t help but wish that he was down in the ground with Annie and that his kids were coming to visit both of them and not just her. Why hadn’t he gone with her on that jog? He thought to himself for the millionth time. When Will and Liz arrived they all stood in silence. There was nothing to say. The pain was still fresh and real to each of them. The few times they had visited there together they realized that trying to say anything always led to a greater sense of sadness so they stopped trying. It was enough to just be there. After half an hour Mike breathed a heavy sigh, turned and hugged his kids and started walking away. Liz started to jog after him. 

“Dad, are you going to be ok?”

“Of course I am honey.” Mike said. 

“Did you want to go get some food with us and we can talk?” Liz asked.

“No, but thank you”, Mike responded. “We will be ok. Come on Duke, let’s go home.”

Liz and William watched their dad walk out of the cemetery.  

“Will”, Liz said, turning, “It’s time. We need to tell him.”

Will sighed, “I know that it needs to be done. I just can’t do it. Duke was so special to Dad. It makes sense that when he was killed with mom Dad couldn’t take that much loss. It would have been better to tell him right away but it was too hard.” 

Liz looked away sadly, trying to hide the tears that had started welling up. 

“Maybe next year”, she said, “Maybe next year.”