Heart In One's Mouth

I tried to contradict the situation.

I must be going crazy. There was no way he's alive. He can't be alive!

Calm down, Lark. It must be your imagination. Remember that you didn't sleep soundly last night. It must be your lack of sleep, the pain killers, the medicine. Perhaps your insomnia is getting worse. Get a grip of yourself, will you?

I shut my eyes close. All I saw was darkness. When I opened them back, there was still a smile on his face. He's not walking towards me. Rather, he stood still, staring at me.

How was he alive? She buried him right before I revved his car back to the neighborhood.

You know what? There's no wasting time.

I carried my legs down to the subway station as fast as I could. I wasn't sure if he's following me. Obviously, he's gonna follow you, Lark, but quicken your pace. He's gonna catch up.

Blending into the crowd was a silly talent of mine. One time my younger sisters were trying to look for me because I had an argument with our Dad, I headed to a small festival just a distance away from our Manor. They couldn't spot me. They've mistaken my face by women with light blonde hair, strange side profiles, and swept ocean eyes. They gave up, thinking I took someplace else.

He won't find me here. That IS for sure.

But I felt as if I made such a huge mistake. Meeting him, trusting him, and almost killing him. Murder wasn't on my mind when she and I made a plan. He was a liar, a cheater. He didn't treat me wrongly. The thing is: He made me one of his fools. He thought taking advantage of my family's wealth was going to fix his problems. He never mentioned he got sent to rehab for alcoholism, or the fact he got involved in a gang fight that almost got him charge for assault. I expected sincerity to come out of his mouth and his actions, but no. He wanted to go down to what he had been up to... with me on the picture.

I got revenge, but it backfired. And now the tables have been turned.

My cellphone finally rang. I pulled it out of my coat pocket and read the caller's ID. Bingo. What a great timing.

"Hello?" I said, rushing into the nearest subway.

"I've been ringing at your front porch for a minute now." she grumbled.

"Sorry," I whispered, slipping between two elderly men chatting by the entrance. "Look, I'm in grave danger right now."

"What are you talking about?"

I looked over my shoulder. He's not there. Yes!

"He's... he's alive, Sloane. I saw him in the street, catching my gaze."

Sloane cursed under her breath. A scuffle interjected our call.

"Where are you?" she asked, panting heavily. "Are you hiding? Are you safe?"

"Yes, I'm safe." I plopped myself on an empty seat. "And I'm in the local subway station that your brother used to transport through."

"I'll be there soon."

And the call ended too soon.

"Please hurry, please hurry." I mumbled under my breath. The subway wasn't going to start until 2 minutes was done. I can do this. You can do this, Lark.

I closed my eyes and waited for the subway to move.

Please hurry.

Hurry, Sloane.

All of a sudden, somebody grabbed me by the wrist. A gasp escaped my mouth. My eyes snapped open and I wriggled out of the aggressive hold.

"Woah," The stranger garbed in a brown pecan blazer glared at me. "I was just asking if this seat was taken."

I blinked. "No," I said. "This seat is not taken."

He scoffed. "You know what? I'll just look for another seat."

I watched him disappear into another compartment. Our eyes met. He glared at me one last time before continuing his search. What a jerk.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the train is extremely crowded."

I surveyed my surroundings. It was true that people are loading in and filling up the spaces left within. But there was no sight of Sloane yet.

"Please do not hold the doors open."

I threw my head back and attempted to relax. He can't see me here. He can't find me here. I'm safe, right? I'm safe.

"Please do not kill me,"

A deep voice distorted into echoes. I wore a terrified face. By the time the doors closed, no one was here but me. I'm alone. The subway started moving, the engine rumbling loudly. A sweat slid down my temple. Nervous, anxious. I couldn't define what I was feeling. It felt as if a ton of bricks weighed down my chest.

I think I'm insane now.

I peeled myself out of my seat and wandered off to a different compartment. Everywhere I looked, still... no one was there. It was so silent. So ironically ear-piercing that I became unnerved of what's about to come. Only the thumping of my boots against the floor rendered me calm.

How did this happen? Sloane contacted me, I sat on a seat, a stranger gave me a dirty look, now I'm somewhere else? A whole different dimension, if I were to be honest.

Could this be a dream? Maybe I let myself fall into slumber as my mind drifted into nowhere. That could be the answer, right? Maybe if I wake up now, the end result will unfold. And Sloane will come here and rescue me.

"This is not a dream," A muffled voice answered. "This is real. Everyone is gone."

I clamped my ears. Stop it!

I circled around. It's just the voices in my head. Just the voices in my head...

"Everyone is gone."

I dropped my knees to the ground. I said STOP IT!

"You couldn't have manage to kill me," Another voice emerged. Behind me. In front of me. Beside me. I don't know anymore!

Footsteps disrupted the voices from combining into one. They finally let go of me and this insanity of mine.

"Lark?"

Sloane, in her usual black leather jacket, ran towards me. She knelt down and studied my face.

"What happened to you?" She surveyed her surroundings. "Where's everybody else?"

I cleared my throat. "I'm not sure... but..." I gulped. "I don't wanna be here. We need to go!"

We drew to our feet. Sloane wrapped a hand around my arm.

"Just stay close to me, alright?"

I nodded. "Okay."

We proceeded dashing to the last compartment. I wanted to ask why we didn't head to the doors instead, but I was too tired to even question her scheme.

She pivoted her attention back to me.

"We'll wait here until he's ran out of air, okay?"

I frowned. "Huh?"

"Here,"

"What do you mean?"

"We asphyxiated your boyfriend, Lark. That's what he deser-"

A bullet tore out of her torso. I gaped at the blood cascading down to her stomach. How did that... how could someone...

"How could you?"

I turned around and I saw him. I felt a heavy object pressing against my palm. I dropped my gaze and there was it. A gun.

"You..." he stammered, tears poking out of his eyes. "You shot her!"

And there was it. A memory flashing before my eyelids.

Sloane dragged me to the back of an abandoned warehouse. We both pulled my boyfriend's unconscious body to his readied grave. I told Sloane that I was hesitated to bury him, so she took my spot and did all of the duty.

"Are you sure about this, Slo?" I asked her.

She looked at me weirdly. "Of course, Lark."

Since Sloane brought two shovels, one for me and one for her, I heaved mine in the air and smacked the back of her head with it. The digging stopped, but I knew that he was already dead by now.

I snatched the gun strapped against Sloane's belt and pointed the tip at her.

"What are you doing?" Her eyes widened with shock. "Don't shoot me, please!"

"I'm sorry but..." A pause. "I don't love you."

A single gunshot fired the place. A bang. And a couple of siren noises running down the streets.

The police tried to look for evidence but I brushed them off as soon as I found out I killed Sloane. My former lover might be alive, but he shouldn't be here to accuse me out of my comfort zone.

I will kill him again...

And again.