An Absurd Spark

Jake’s head rose. He knew he had heard something. It came from the living room; there was someone in his house. He got up from his bed; pulled up his trousers and put on his slippers. Moonlight was shimmering through his window. It was the only source of light in his bedroom apart from the laptop screen with an unfinished word document open. The clock struck 12; Jake had missed his flight as well. He looked around his bedroom and saw a wooden scale as the only available weapon if there was a thief outside. He crept towards the door and slowly twisted the handle without making a sound. Jake peeked and saw this dude in a black, full sleeved t-shirt, gloves and black shorts looting away merrily at his possessions. 

He looked like an inexperienced prat and Jake just stamped his foot which made the robber shake. He looked up and gave out a wail, “Man, you weren’t supposed to be home!”

“Clearly,” said Jake as he saw that the robber was unarmed, skinny and had a face that wouldn’t even be able to threaten a child, “Is this your first robbery or something,” he added

“Fine, yes. Although it seems to be your first robbery as well, did you even call the police or were you planning to overpower me with a wooden scale,”

Jake gave a glance at the wooden scale and thought of his stupidity. “Well, I can still call the police, and plus, you aren’t even wearing a mask,”

“How do you know this is my real face? It could be a face mask, I’ve seen those Mission Impossible movies,” the robber scoffed

“If you were going to make a face mask then you wouldn’t make it this ugly,”

Jake gave a small smile and soon both of them were laughing. Finally, the robber said, “Look, how about you don’t call the police and I don’t rob anything,”

“That works for me,”

The robber began to walk out and suddenly stopped his steps

“Wait, can you give me something to eat, I’m very hungry. I won’t rob you I swear, I just want a little food,”

“Oh, okay I guess, I missed my flight anyways, I have time to spare,”

Jake went into the kitchen, the robber shrugged behind him. “What do you want, I have cereal and Maggi. I’m too tired to make Maggi right now,”

“Some cereal would be just fine, thank you”

Jake took a box of cornflakes out of the cupboard and opened it up.

“So, what’s your name?”

“I’m Andy, yours is Jake, right”

“At least you’ve done your research, yes it’s Jake,” said Jake taking out a bowl from a drawer

“I didn’t figure out what you do though,”

“I’m a writer,” said Jake pouring the cereal into the bowl

“Nice, anything I might have read,”

“Do you read?”

“So, what have you written?” said Andy trying to avoid a conversation about his literacy

“Some short stories, I’m attempting to write this novel right now, but I’ve hit this huge problem. My protagonist just seems to be too intelligent; I don’t know how the antagonist could outsmart him,” said Jake after pouring the milk into the bowl, grabbing a spoon and handing it to Andy

“What does protagonist mean?”

“Protagonist is just a fancy word for hero and antagonist means villain,”

“So, why do you want the villain to outsmart him?”

“Outsmart as in make the hero realize his mistake so that he can improve and then defeat the villain later, you know,”

“Cool, writing a novel is nice. Except for the fact that if there was one about me, I would be the villain, antagonist as you say and I don’t really like the thought of that,”

Andy and Jake walked over to his dinner table and sat down. Andy was happily munching on the cereal. 

“So, why were you going to rob me?” said Jake

“Are you really going to ask me that?”

“I mean, I’m not asking why people rob, I’m just wondering why me in particular,”

“You had a flight right,”

“You are a really weird thief you know. You should’ve checked if I was gone before you entered my house.”

“You are a weird person, you should’ve left,”

“Well, sleep is my worst enemy and my best friend. But you do not seem to be that good at it being a thief, maybe you should give another field a try,”

“I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t have any money; this seemed like the only option. You are a writer, how do you earn money? I don’t suppose your stories are bestsellers or anything,”

“No, but I work for a magazine, I agree it isn’t steady paychecks but I’m living an honest life. You should try too. There isn’t any harm in it.”

Andy almost finished his bowl of cereal. “Maybe you’re right, there isn’t any harm in trying,” he said

“Exactly my point, there must be something you’ve wanted to do since you were a child right. What did you fail in that urged you to start stealing,” 

“Umm…,”

“It’s something bad, isn’t it,”

“Yeah, I used to gamble,”

Jake shook his head in disappointment. “Are you serious Andy? Gambling! You are better than this,”

“Hey, you don’t know anything about me and why do you even care? You’re not my father,”

“Well if I was, I sure wouldn’t be proud. There must be something you actually want to do or become?”

Andy thought about it for a moment. It was tough for him to think of anything besides stealing. Whenever he was hungry, he would grab a fruit when the shopkeeper wasn’t looking. This was his first big robbery and that too hadn’t gone well. Or had it; he was eating cereal and chatting with the owner. He could hit him and rob away. This wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life though. Maybe it was time for him to change. “I’ve always liked cooking. I could smell a dish and know its ingredients,”

“Well, do that. I’ll tell you something, it’s not that you’ll become an amazing chef since day one. It take times, you might have to work as a waiter. It’s all fine as long as you keep honestly working and are true to yourself,”

“But, how can I guarantee that I can become a great chef? What if I fail and nobody likes what I make,”

“Andy, that is the point. We can never have a guarantee and that’s what brings spice into it. If you were told to walk on a tightrope with a trampoline underneath, you’d never try your hardest,”

Andy got lost in thought; processing what Jake had just said. “Damn, that’s true. You are a great writer man… You know a few minutes earlier, I was thinking about conking you on the head with this bowl and stealing you anyways. But I like what you said,”

“Wow! Were you really thinking that? Man! I had no idea. You would’ve outsmarted me straight away,”

“Yes and I would have said some cool line later, like ‘Hasta la vista Baby’,”

“No what the heck! It’s better if the line you say is a part of the conversation. If I would’ve said, ‘Seems like this will be your last robbery’ and then you would have said, ‘It’s yet to be completed, Jake’ and then you knocked me out. It would have been much better.”

“Ohhh! That is a killer line. 

“I know right,”

Jake and Andy chatted for a few more moments and then Andy left. Jake walked over to his dining table wondering what a weird night he had had. He picked up the empty bowl. “If he had conked me on the head; I would have been so shocked. If that was his plan from the start right after seeing me; to act like he had been defeated at first. It would have been like a master plan,” Jake said to himself and laughed. 

Suddenly a thought flickered in his mind. How could the antagonist tackle the protagonist? How could he outsmart the amazing genius that the hero had? The protagonist being smart isn’t the problem, it’s the solution. The bowl crashed onto the floor. Jake got all excited and started jumping around his living room. He ran to his bedroom, closed the door and sat on his desk. He opened his laptop and started pressing the keys with uncontrollable excitement. His brain was over- flowing, his hands started feeling too slow for the intellectual volcano that was erupting inside his brain. He thanked Jake in his head.

 Who knew that helping a thief could give him the spark he needed.