Upon the Overpass- Sadler Slate

A cold summer afternoon cloaked by rain found my best friend walking alone. His head pointed at his feet as he wondered where they would take him. His thoughts smothered him and he begged for an escape.

The concrete yellow-brick road turned to a trail of tears and sorrow as he began to question his life and its meaning. Everyone seemed to have turned their backs on him. Their words and their criticisms echoed inside his conscience and they seemed to get the best of them. 

Who is “they” you may ask? Friends. Friends former and friends even present who had buried my dear friend in their tauntings and second-hand opinions. They don’t know him. They don’t have the first clue about the person that he is. They only believe what they’ve heard rather than what they’ve experienced. They know his reputation, but not him. 

But, how did he get here? Why was he walking down a busy highway in the rain? What had brought him to this moment in his life that could prove to be fatal? It started with what was supposed to be a good time amongst friends. This obviously wasn’t the case. 

***

An hour or so earlier, my friend was sitting across from me at the restaurant. The rain was far from coming and the sun seemed to peek in and out from behind the clouds like a small child. We were surrounded by half a dozen others as we talked about the teachers we hated and the newest season of that one show that everyone seems to be talking about. 

But, as I found myself lost in the sound of overriding conversations, I saw my friend slowly slip into a lonely island of his own. His eyes seemed distant from the reality he was in. These were not his friends. These were not his companions. These were not his confidants. These were people that each played a different part in their relational charade. They pretended to care and talked behind his back. He felt like no one truly understood and defended him. 

The meals were served and eaten and his morale faded into nothing. His short, hollow expressions turned to nothing. He completely stopped talking and just listened to the deafening silence echoing in his mind. It was all white noise. 

As we all finished paying, we made our way out the door. He trailed behind us slowly with his hands buried in his coat pockets. I placed my hand on the car door as he told me that he’d be getting a ride from his parents. 

“You sure man? Your house isn’t that far from here.” 

“Yeah man, I’m straight. Thanks, though.” 

We all pulled away as he stood there under the awning. As the last car reared around and made its way out, the rain began to fall. My friend had lied to me when he said his parents were coming to pick him up. No one was. He was going to walk home. 

***

That’s what brought us to where we are now. My friend, soaked in misery, was walking along his own somber path we came upon the overpass. He stopped and slowly raised his head to see where he was. He turned his head and looked down at the cars making their way beneath him. 

“Why don’t you just jump.”

That thought frightened him because it felt so real. He felt so hopeless and alone. The thought continued to resonate inside him. He fought with the idea back and forth like he had the little angel on one shoulder and the tempting devil on the other. Tears began to form and soon after they found their way down his cheek, but they were quickly disguised by the downpour surrounding him. 

He made up his mind. He decided that this would be where his life ends. He began to prop his leg up to climb on top of the rail when a voice called out his name. 

“ANDREW!”

He turned around and saw me from a distance. He lost his step and nearly fell. That was enough to scare him to step down. 

“What in the hell are you doing?”

“I can’t do this anymore man. I can’t keep acting like everything is ok when it’s not. Everyone seems to act like they’d be better off without me and to be honest, they’re not wrong.”

“What are you talking about? I couldn’t imagine my life without you man! You’ve been there for me every single time I’ve ever needed you. I’m sorry if I haven’t, I truly am but you can’t do this!”

“How did you even find me?”

“Your mom called and asked where you were. I knew something was off about you and I was worried, and for good reason.” 

His body sank and he fell to the ground. His back was pressed up against the rail and he laid his head in his hands and unloaded everything. His cries broke through the sounds of the wind and rain and broke my heart. I rushed over to him from the car and helped him up. 

***

Years later I look back at that moment and wonder, “what if?” What if he had jumped? What would my life be without him here? The truth is, I was never there. I drove home without a second thought. My friend really did walk to that overpass, though. He faced his own mortality and nearly gave in. Matter of fact, I didn’t even know anything about this until almost a year later when he finally told me. 

I truly believe I was there though. Something kept him from jumping. God reached down and held his troubled son and he used me to do it. My friend told me that he couldn’t help but think of me at that moment and something about that made him step down and continue on home. 

My friend and I don’t often talk about this but it still resonates within us. I wish I had been there in person, but I knew that part of me still was there inside him. He’s a brother to me, and I couldn’t imagine losing a brother. That’s my best friend, Andrew. This is the story of how I saved his life, and he made mine better.