Mario Time

I was at home playing my retro-NES system. Super Mario Bros. was a classic game that I knew well. I was runner-up for the first Nintendo World Championship in 1990. I thought I did a good job, but I didn't win. I didn't even place. Now, I am just a lowly database administrator. I have no big titles, competitions, or impressive jobs at Nintendo—just a $1,000 savings bond. I always think about what would happen if I had won that competition. 

I was on the second level and went to the warp zone to go to the warp zone for the 9th level. I saw a green pipe come outside the TV and grow to 90 inches in circumference. And did I mention that it was in my living room? It looked like I could just jump on in. So that's what I did. I was moving quickly through this green pipe. I fell from the sky and ended up in a bouncy castle. I crawled out of there while the ride attendant gave me a scowling look.

That was amazing! Where am I? I look around, and it looks like a giant carnival. Wait a minute. I'm in the 90s, and I'm dressed like I'm in the 90s. These are my clothes: a Poison T-shirt, a red jean jacket tied around my waist, and a pair of way too distressed jeans. I keep looking around and realize I am at the Nintendo World Championship! Now that I'm here, I can change my fate. 

I go up to the registration desk to make sure I have my tickets. Everything was straight, and I was all registered. I checked my pockets to see if I had any money for food or anything, and as usual, my father left me with $50 for the whole trip. I would have to be careful with that.

The main event is at 5:00 pm. It looks like there are practice stations. The competition has its cartridge for it. It was three games in each cartridge: Super Mario Bros., Tetris, and Rad Racer. The only one I wasn't familiar with was Rad Racer the first time around. That was then this is. . . oh wait, this is then too! I go over to the practice station and play a few rounds. I have had endless hours of practice. I think I can do it this time. 

I have to start the preliminaries soon so I go over to the tent for the first trials. Donkey Kong, naturally the first Nintendo game, should be the first in this round. I jumped barrels and saved the princess. I placed in the top 25. Which I thought was good. Then there was The Legend of Zelda, which was one of my favorites. I placed in the top ten. That would give me enough to win a spot at the finals. It's about 3:00 pm, so I give myself a break to get food. Gaming always makes me hungry. I go down to the breakroom and grab some food. I recognize a few others in the same group as I am, so I wave and sit down to eat by myself. My competitors seem to think that my wave was an invitation to sit next to me. 

"Hi, fancy footwork there. I'm Brandon," he said.

I reply, albeit annoyed, "I'm Zach; I have had a lot of practice."

Brandon said, "We have a Group that meets over the weekends, and we've gotten pretty good."

"I practice. You don't have any idea," I say. Looks like it's time to get rolling. I grab my tray and discard it in the trash can, "Good luck guys" Ok I go up to where the final competition will be held and I sit at my chair. You stand while you're playing and sit when you're not. Then the music comes on. The only thing I can describe is that it's like an American Idol competition. I don't think anyone here knows what that is. I am very excited now. I will finally have a chance to win this competition and change my life: no more databases, no more SQL, no more SharePoint. I am going to be a professional video gamer.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I welcome you to the final competition of the first Nintendo World Championship! Alright, this last trial is with a specialty game made from Super Mario Bros., Tetris, and Rad Racer. So, Audience, are you ready? Gamers, are you ready? And they're off!"

Super Mario was first. Now, it wasn't just your speed of finishing the game. It was also the coins and overall High Score. I made sure to skip the levels that had less coinage while still zipping through the game. Next was Tetris; I always had a thing for Tetris. My mom got me a Gameboy with a cartridge for Tetris; I think that was the only game I ever played with the Game Boy. I breezed right past level 20. Next was Rad Racer. I had plenty of time to improve my performance in this game. Doing so poorly in this game the first time is what lost me the trophy. This time, however, I will not lose.

Then there I was, rounding the last curve, and I did it. First place! I won a 1990 Geo Metro Convertible, a 40" rear-projection television, and a golden Mario trophy. People were shouting and carrying me on their shoulders. After the commotion died down, I managed to get into the bouncy castle. The guy who was watching the ride replaced his scowl with a smile. Maybe he knew what happened. Either way, I had to get home, and I had to get to work.

I climb up into the castle and jump, then another pipe appears, and I jump right in. This whole time-warp thing is really much more fun when you know that it's safe. I was at the end, and here we go! Thunk.

It seems that I am in some kind of costume. I take the head off and struggle to get to my feet. I look around, and I am at my local GameStop. Wait a minute. I am in a Mario suit. A guy comes from out of the store. "Hey there, no sleeping on the job." Then he goes back inside.

Oh my God. How did this happen? Just then, I was hit with a bolt, and it seemed like all the memories I had missed were coming back to me. Oh, I can see it now. I felt like I couldn't be beaten, and I refused to work hard to make anything of myself because I already thought I had made it.

I crouch down on the ground. NO! NO! NO!

A couple walks by the GameStop. One says in disgust, "Gamers," she says.

"Oh, dear, there goes the neighborhood."