Oh Holy night!

On Saturday, 5th November, 2016 was the day I'd finally decided to overcome fear and shyness. Melvis ( my best friend's elder sister), and I had made plans to join "Celestial Chorus Choir" for more than a year but didn't have the guts to. Back in my secondary school days I used to be in our local Parish's youth choir; Saint Gabriel's Choir. That wasn't challenging because I was the youngest and was often pampered by the adults. It wasn't a problem if I missed a note, besides the whole choir was a mess ( not just literally). Here I was in a new environment, living alone for the first time,got admitted into the university of Buea to study Sociology and Anthropology; a whole new experience. First Sunday to church was really intimidating; heard neighbours briefing each other how the Saints Peter and Paul University parish was a center for showoff, and I wanted to look perfect but not too obvious I was a freshman. Had my "Ankara " gown pressed the previous night, light make up and shoes on. Second mass begins at 8:30am but I left home at 7:16am. I'm not really the punctual type but lateness to church is not my thing, and besides I wanted to get a good seat. I walk to church and it takes me just 10 minutes to reach the church gate. Sad part, I'm too early the first mass is still at the level of Alms giving.

As soon as the mass ended I got in, took a seat on the third row. Wow! The church is big, love the architecture, it's completely different from the "karabot"( building made from wood) church back home. The mass began and proceeded with its usual rites. What touched me most in the close to two hours I sat in church was the choir. The choristers sang so well it gave me chills, their voices were so refined and rhythms harmonised. I left service with one thing in mind, I have to make my voice better though I didn't even know what part to fit in. That was a first step.

Later that day I paid a visit to Chris' ( my bff) hostel. She didn't attend service and was busy cooking besides we are from different religious denominations; I'm Catholic and she is Presbyterian. I explained how I felt touched by the singing in church and told her I had intentions of improving my voice so I could join a choir someday: a real choir. Chris was amazed but suggested I follow her to her church and join the famous " Hallelujah " choir. We both laughed at how silly the idea was. Unlike Chris, Melvis was willing to join CC.

Days passed, months came and went and one Saturday evening while we were all in Chris' room, a friend walks in with two concert tickets in hand. Actually planned on inviting Chris and her sister but she couldn't make it because she had a date. Melvis and I were the available attendees. The guy said he was forced to buy the tickets from his neighbor who is a chorister, didn't really find pleasure in religious activities so he gave us. On it was written " Night of Bliss with Cœur d' ânges".

Here I was once more feeling envious of their voices, to spoil it all I didn't even have an android phone nor laptop to carryout research on voice improvement techniques and training. I found myself stuck each time I had to borrow Chris' phone to browse the internet; had a complex each time. Well, that wasn't the point now, listen to the music and enjoy the moment. There's a time for everything. We were asked not to call during a performance as it could distract the singers and song quality, if u felt impressed and touched by the songs, you could just wave slowly. It was already getting to 11pm and I didn't want the concert to end. Twenty seven minutes later they sang the closing hymn. This was the difficult part, going back home at that time was quite risky, even though Chris' hostel was just a stone throw away. A majority of the attendees were going through the main gate and that would make the distance farther for us. We followed a group of guys going our way,hopefully we got home safe. Mel and I kept commenting and giving criticisms, laughed at some dance missteps by choristers and voice failures. Made plans to join CC( celestial chorus) for the thousandth time, tried to sing some of the songs at the concert but voices were too coarse to attain even a mediocre score. How sad!

Spent most of my days in Chris' room, Living alone was fun mainly because you didn't get restrictions as one often gets home but it really got lonely too. One afternoon in March 2015( I remember because it was a few days after my elder sister's birthday), we were studying for a continuous assessment test which was to be written the next day, I hear voices quacking and I was so irritated. Asked Aminatou,( Chris' next-door neighbor), what was going on and she just gave a sigh. Chris walks in from outside where she was spreading dresses on the drying line and I ask her. She told me its a group of choristers rehearsing, which didn't change the fact I was angry at the distraction, but was forced to bear it. I decide to leave to my hostel, haven't heard such noises there before so I'm guessing they're no choristers to disturb my studies. I love listening to music and singing but I've got a test to prepare for, couldn't risk that.

The days got tougher and hunger became the order of the day. I decided to travel back home for the week end. My dad wasn't expecting me but I showed up anyway. Don't have to notify each time I'm going home, the disadvantage was that I wasn't sure of having food since the meal my sister made was to feed only those at home. My dad, sister and uncle were all happy to see me as usual. Had a long chat with my sister that night. I wasn't permitted to sleep until I must have recounted more than half of school experiences from the last time I left home; she loves cracking jokes so anything from dates, school work, church and my level of voice training so far, nosey neighbors was not left out.

Second year began, thank God I no longer had a freshman status though I had courses to resit. Its no big deal, I usually tell myself "what will be, will be" though I don't mean it always. Can be misleading sometimes. Water shortages in my hostel causes me to relocate to Chris' hostel, got room 29 and she was in room 49. I have a feeling this academic year will be full of distractions but I'm game. Two doors from me is an empty room 32, two days after I park in, I see a tricycle driving towards our building with household tools packed behind. Got new neighbors in the building and as fate had it, Mel knew the new comers from a friend's hostel. That day all was well, still had to unpack my stuff. Spent the evening cleaning while Chris helped me unpack my clothes.

Lizette( the new neighbor whose name I got from Melvis) was actually a chorister and not just that but with the CC singers. From the way she sang, I can't even match her standards. Heard Mel saying she sings soprano ( can you imagine I had no idea of different voice types), and to think I'd been in a choir. Its a pity!

Melvis was the " passe partout" amongst us, she knew everyone in the hostel, makes friends everyday and had already gotten so acquainted with Lizette, even started taking singing lessons. When she was done learning, she'll transfer the knowledge to me, told Lizette we had intentions of joining a CC and she was so encouraging. Paid us a visit one afternoon and gave us a copy of "Umuoya Praise" to sing along with her. I got lost in all the pauses, mixing notes and pitches. It was so frustrating given the fact that I had no mastery of the language. Those were times I wish I'd been taught better at St. Gabriel's choir. It was so embarrassing I even felt ashamed reiterating the fact that i'd once been in a choir. Lizette guided my pitch and asked me to try giving a high note which I did, wasn't bad after all but still needing some training. We were informed rehearsals were on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays from 5pm to 7:30pm. This was in July 2016 and exams were set to begin in two weeks, I postponed that project for an unknown date. After exams we went for second semester break. Resit was in a month, that is, exactly one week after exam results were published. I didn't resit so my break was prolonged. School resumption was on October 2nd 2016. I was back on the 3rd and began attending lectures immediately. Went to church for the first time in my final year. On my way back from church, I came across a former school mate while in primary school and remembered her name perfectly; Belle. She was sharing tickets for the St. Martin's choir concert. The three main choirs at the Sts. Peter and Paul's parish were Celestial Chorus Choir, St. Martin's choir and Cœur d'Ânges. She was sharing tickets to their freshman concert and it was free. What an awesome way of starting the school year.

Unlike the other concert, this was organized on the church premise. I invited Chris since Mel was out of town and to my surprise she accepted. We got there at 6:03 pm and sat. At 6:45, that is, fifteen minutes late , the choristers did their procession. The opening songs were mainly classical songs which required precision on the part of both the instrumentalists and conductors. The singing was great especially when they sang " Thou, Oh Lord". To think I'd undermined the concert because the pass was free. They were good singers but I'd made a keen observation and preferred CC. Couldn't tell if it was because of the conductor's charismatic nature or because I knew Lizette, either ways I had made up my mind to join. Chris was blown away by the performance and even asked me to let her know when next there had to be a concert.

On the 5th of November 2016, I left school at 3pm, got home thirty minutes later, had a meal and decided to rest. Got up twenty minutes past five, took a bath and told Chris and Mel I was going to church for CC rehearsals. Mel pleaded I wait for her which I did, we were both skeptical but I had made up mg mind to go whether or not she was coming. We left home at 6:15. Going late on the first day of rehearsal. On reaching church we found chairs put in four rows, we offered seats. They were just 7 choristers present, seating in different angles. A few minutes later we saw people coming into the church yard in groups. I guess late coming wasn't punishable. Lizette was with two girls and they all shook our hands and welcomed us. An opening prayer was said, and song copies were shared. Lizette sat beside us to direct us how to sing. The song on the script was titled " Nso"( meaning holy in one of the Igbo languages of Nigeria). It was full of ambience as drums were played along. Mel and I were like two lost pigeons. It felt so good to get a first hand experience of the singing. At the end of it we were asked to introduce ourselves, Lizette sent Melvis to the row next to ours. I got to learn those rows represented different sections of the choir; they were four,that is: Soprano, alto, tenor and bass. I was asked to sing soprano 2 which was the lowest pitch for soprano singers, while Melvis sang alto 2. The real work had begun.

At our next rehearsal, we were given a list of requirements and dress codes. I had uniforms to buy and couldn't sing during mass unless I got them. It was also announced we were preparing for our Christmas concert and all new choristers were expected to participate. That's where my stress began. I remember the panic I had the last time I was to present an exposé before the class. I couldn't run here because according to singing arrangements, soprano singers were put in front. I was stuck!

Two weeks later, I began singing better and was asked to avoid dairy products and protein rich foods. As if that wasn't enough, on one of our rehearsal days the music director gave me a script of "silent night" to sing. I told him I had no idea he asked me to stand in front and sing. My voice was trembling but I sang. Our MD made matters worse when he announced I would be given the song to sing solo during the concert. My training sessions were extended and meeting up with school work became so tiring. I had lemon grass tea every morning and honey, ginger and lime tea at night before going to bed.

The concert was fast approaching, I had not gotten uniforms yet but fortunately grey T- shirts with the choir name and motto printed on it were to be worn on black trousers on the day of the concert. The girls were expected to do the same hairstyle and put on flats. Two weeks to the concert, while rehearsing, our MD made a change of program. Silent night was given to another alto chorister. I felt relieved. Few minute later one of the top soprano singers did an interpretation of the Christmas carol "Oh Holy Night". My God! Klaudija's voice was that of an angel. Everyone was overwhelmed by her performance. She hit the high notes with so much ease. Shortly after that, her script was given to me. I was convinced our MD didn't want my progress. How could he give me such a task? I was no match for Klaudija's performance. I stood up, cleared my throat and began singing.

Oh Holy Night, the stars are brightly shi...

The MD stopped me, asked me to bring down my pitch if not I risk being stuck. I repeated the process even though I knew there were gaps to be filled. On the refrain part;

Fall on your knees

Oh hear the angels' voices

Oh Night divine

OOh night...

At this point, I did not believe I could actually hit the notes. Everyone was quiet, I felt honoured and a sense of satisfaction. Like the work I put in paid off.

Rehearsal sessions became my new routine for the following weeks. The concert was in 3 days now. I'd perfected the techniques learnt, I was the first chorister to be given a solo within that short time. Mel was forced to stop concert preparations because she had to begin exams the next week. They promised to be there and make a video of me while I sing, at this point I still had not gotten an android phone so I relied on Chris to be present.

With each passing hour I pondered on how to deal with stage freight.

It was the D day, I left home set. My dressing was on point; paid attention to every detail from white pearl earrings to black shoes. We reached church at 3:30 but the concert was to begin at 6pm. Last minute preparations took two hours. We were given two cubes each of sugar to suck for energy.

We did our procession while singing "Ayo" ( Zulu gospel). I could see Chris, Mel and Nadege sitting in front smiling at me. I was so tensed.

We sang the opening song "the name of Jesus". Three other songs followed and I was asked to step aside for last minute preparations. While preparing, I could hear a version of " Ndikhokele" I'm not sure has ever been heard. The pitches were mixed up and I could even hear whispers and laughter from some members of the audience. I felt so bad and more scared. What if I mixed things up like that chorister did, I'm sure it was due to stress. The MD walked up to me and said I'll sing a duet with Ben, one of the best bass singers in the choir. It was relieving while intimidating at the same time. As we rounded off, I heard the MC saying "...and now Oh Holy night by Ben Sume and Colette Bih"

At this point my heart ceased, I didn't realise how challenging it is to have eyes glued on one self. Ben introduced the 1st part and as I began singing I could see disappointment on our MD face and read his lips saying "relax, don't tremble". As we had to take the refrain I let go and all I had in mind now was the hours of practice and voice training sessions I had been to. I found myself hitting a high note at:

Oh Nigh---t Divine

OOh night when Christ was born

Oh Night... Di-v---ine oh night

Oh night divine.

I smiled when I saw other hands waving not just my friends. The feeling was beyond all I'd ever experienced. It was like all my troubles left me. After the performance, people stood up and clapped. The parish priest walked up to the basket where support funds were kept and dropped a token. For the first time in three years I felt genuine happiness fr within.

That night was indeed, a Holy Night.