my own hero

As per usual, my day started off with me waking up at 6:30 on the dot. I got out of bed and threw my curtains open to let the sunlight wash over my room. The warmth on my face and the sound of birds chirping was a lovely wake up call. I quickly got dressed in my favorite, bright green shirt and leggings. 

I opened my door, quietly, trying not to wake anyone. When I got into the kitchen I was pleasantly surprised to see that the kettle was already on.

I grabbed a teabag, put it into a mug and poured some water in, leaving room for honey and milk. 

“Where are my keys.” my father's voice boomed, making me flinch.

He stormed into the kitchen and pushed past me, causing me to dump hot tea on myself. I let out a little gasp from the pain.

“I asked you a question.” He said, ignoring the tears welling up in my eyes.

“Have you tried checking your coat?” I replied, wiping myself off with some paper towels.

“Don’t get smart with me. That’s the first place I checked.” 

“Oh, ok sorry. Just trying to help.” I said, plastering a smile on my face.

“No, no. Clearly you are correct because you’re just so smart, right?” he said, mockingly while sticking his hand in his coat pocket to show me they weren’t in there. His face turned a bright shade of red as the jingle of his keys came from the inside of the pocket. His shock quickly turned to anger.

“Whatever. Are you going to wear that shirt to school? It’s got a stain on it.” he said with a smirk before walking out of the house for work. 

I took a deep breath before making some tea again. After that I brushed my teeth and changed my shirt. 

My phone dinged, indicating it was 7:25. 

I swung my backpack over my shoulders and headed to the bus stop.

The bus was surprisingly quiet for a small space, containing around 20 high school kids. 

My friend, Ethan slid into the seat beside me. 

“Hey, Sadie. How’s it going?” He asked. 

“As well as a morning can. You?” I replied. 

“Not very well. My mom said if I don’t get my grades up I can’t get a car.” 

“If you want, I can help with some of your classes.” 

“Really? That’d be great. Could you maybe help me after school?”

“Of course.” I said as the bus came to a stop at the side of our school. 

We got off and started walking to the side door. I noticed another friend of mine was pretty far behind everyone else so I held the door open, stalling so I could walk with her. 

“Hello, my love.” she said as she threw her arm around me. I flinched a bit, feeling awful afterwards, hoping she didn’t think I was flinching because of her. 

“Hey, mars bars.” I said through a grin. 

“Why do they make school so early?” she asked.

“Maybe they just hate us. I don’t know.” I replied, making her laugh. I loved hearing her laugh. It just sounded so soft and sweet. She let out a sigh

“Guess it’s time to go our separate ways. See you at lunch.” she said slowly pulling her hand off my shoulder as I continued to walk to my locker. 

I entered my locker combination, the lock popped with a satisfying clicking noise.

After putting my backpack in and grabbing my binders I headed to my first class. 

The morning seemed to go slowly, I had trouble paying attention to the teachers words and kept forgetting the things they said. when the lunch bell rang herds of teenagers pushed through their classroom doors and into the cafeteria. Everyone was so involved with themselves they either didn’t notice or care about the girl on the ground, her papers spread across the hallway. I waited a few moments for the crowd to subside before walking over and picking up her papers. 

I helped her up and handed them to her.

“You ok?” I asked. She avoided eye contact with me and was blushing, which was reasonable. I’d definitely be embarrassed if I had been in her position.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks for the help.”

“No problem.” I replied, turning to walk away. 

“By the way. I’m new, not just dumb. Do you think we’ll have any of the same classes?” She asked.

“I doubt it. I’m a grade 11 but if you see me in the hallways don’t be afraid to say hi.” I said, making a peace sign with my fingers before grabbing my lunch pale and walking into the cafeteria where my friends were sitting. 

I sat across from Marley. 

“ Hey Mars Bars. Sorry I’m late. A grade 9 wiped out in the hallway.” 

“Are they ok?” she asked, looking genuinely concerned. I had loved that she cared so much about others.

“She’s fine. Just spilled her papers on the ground. I’ve definitely done that a few times so i stopped to help her.” I replied.

“Ah! I forgot my lunch.” My friend, Charles, exclaimed. 

“Here, man. Have mine. I’m not really hungry.” I said, sliding my lunch pale across the table.

“Thanks, Sadie. I’ll get you back sometime.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I said, turning back to Marley.

“So, got any plans today?” she asked. I let out a sigh.

“Sorry, Mars. I told Ethan I’d help him with his homework.” 

“Well that’s disappointing but not surprising. You’re always putting others before yourself.” she said with a little smile, seeming to try and hide her disappointment.

“What if we hung out tomorrow?” I asked.

“I can’t. I have volleyball practice.” she replied.

“Oh well we’ll figure out a day. Don’t worry.” I said. 

The rest of the day passed by quickly. Eventually the bell rang for home time. 

I grabbed my backpack and walked to the bus, sliding onto the seat beside Ethan. 

“So, whose house are we working at?” I asked him.

“I was thinking mine if that works for you.” He replied. 

“That works, what classes would you need help in?”

“Math, Science and English. We could just do one class if that’s too much for you.”

“Oh, no don’t worry about it. Those are my best classes.” I replied, giving him a reassuring smile. 

We got to his house and walked up the stairs into his room. 

I sat beside him on his bed as he sprawled the work pages across his sheets.

“What should we start with?” He asked.

“What class are you doing the worst in?” I replied.

“Science.”

“Alright, so let’s start with that, then.” I said. 

He nodded and grabbed his science work and a couple pencils.

“So, what don’t you understand about it?” 

“I can’t balance chemicals.” He said, seeming embarrassed.

“That’s difficult for a lot of people. I get it.” I said, trying to reassure him.

I explained how to multiply and equal out each letter in the chemical formula. 

The door swung open. 

“What’s going on in here?” Ethan's’ mother said, standing in the door-frame.

“Sorry, mom. I was just getting school help from Sadie.” Ethan said quickly. 

She looked at me for a moment.

“Alright well thank you for helping my son but I still want this door open a few inches.” She said before walking out of the room. I helped Ethan finish up his other classes. By the time we were done it was almost 5:00.

“I have to go.” I said, putting on my shoes.

“Alright. See you tomorrow.” He said as I walked out the door. It only took a few minutes for me to get to my house. 

The car wasn’t in the driveway so I could only hope neither of my parents were home when I walked through the front door. 

My little brother, Jasper ran up to me.

“Look what I drew in class.” He yelled, which was unnecessary because he was so close to me. 

“Oh, what a pretty cow!” I exclaimed. 

“It’s a dog!” He yelled again. My other brother ran past, crying.

“I’m hungry!” He screamed. I walked into the kitchen, both brothers trailing after me. 

 “Who wants ‘Mac n cheese’?” I said, trying to be heard through the chaos of their screaming and crying. That made them stop.

“I do, I do!” they chanted. I started making it, watching the water boil, wondering how bad it would hurt if I stuck a hand in there, would my hair fall out if I stuck my head in it? I snapped out of my wicked day dream and got my siblings bowls ready. Each got a hefty serving of the cheesy noodles. There was only a bit left for myself. 

My stomach gurgled from hunger. I finished about half my bowl and dumped the rest into the garbage. After the boys finished their food I did the dishes.

“I’m going to go take a shower. Does anyone have to use the washroom before I do?” I asked. Both said no so I turned on the T.V. for them, grabbed some clean clothes and hopped in the shower. 

As the hot water poured over me all the background noise faded out. It was usually the only time I got to myself. I needed this alone time. I cried, knowing the kids couldn’t hear me and that the water would wash away any streaks that may appear on my face. 

I finished up, put on the clean clothes and opened the bathroom door to see my mother standing in the living room, consoling Jasper as my father approached, getting so close I could smell the coffee on his breath. 

“Jasper has needed to use the bathroom for 10 minutes.” He growled.

“I asked if he needed to go before I got in the shower.”

“Don’t talk back to me, you selfish little bi-” 

“Gerald! It’s ok, she’s out now. Go potty, Jasper.” My mother said, trying to stop my father from escalating, which was usual. 

Jasper pushed past us and slammed the bathroom door. 

“Go to your room.” my father said in a hushed tone, the vein in his forehead was throbbing and his eyes were red from anger. 

I could feel myself getting upset, feeling how much I wanted to scream or cry. Instead I walked past him. Going into my room, making sure to close the door quietly so as to not give him another thing to get mad about.

I heard both my parents go into their room, probably to discuss my ignorance or something. I took a deep breath, picked up the phone and called Marley. The phone didn’t even ring twice before she picked up.

“Hey, my love. What’s up?” she asked. Just hearing her voice made me feel better.

“Is it ok if I came over tonight?” I asked, my voice shaking as I waited for a no.

“Of course. I’ll see you soon.” 

“Thanks.” I said, waiting a moment before hanging up the phone.

I climbed out my window, the birds no longer chirping and the sun far over my window. I arrived at her house with no shoes and still wet hair. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t want me at her house looking like this. 

She stood there, in the door-frame, looking me up and down. 

“Love the outfit.” she said with a giggle. I sighed in relief, glad she’s not mad about my physical state. 

We went inside, she made us tea and I explained everything to her. I thought maybe she’d tell me everyone had problems. I shouldn’t be complaining. A lot of people have it a lot worse than I do.

She put down her cup of tea and hugged me. 

“It’s going to be ok.” she said, simply, her voice shaking. 

“But am I not selfish? I try to help others but it’s like everything I do is wrong.” I exclaimed. She cupped my face in her hands, forcing me to look her in the eyes. 

“I couldn’t ever do what you do. You help everyone even if it takes away from things you want to do. It’s like you have a superpower to put up with everyone's problems except for your own.” I started tearing up, which was definitely embarrassing but she didn’t seem to care. 

“I get that you like to help others. But sometimes you need to be your own hero.” she whispered, lovingly. 

“You're sleeping over tonight. I’m not taking no for an answer.” She continued. 

We stayed up, talking for a few more hours. As I finally drifted off to sleep the words 

“Be your own hero” rang inside my head.