That day

It is still difficult for me to talk about that day, a dark ink blot in the book of my life. However, I guess I’ll finally be able to let go of that lingering unease if I share my story here. 

 When I was still just a child my worst nightmare became a reality. My mother was taken away from my side. Not by death or abandonment. She was caught by ICE while she was working at a local store. One of her co-workers called our home number and explained the situation to me, as she had been instructed by mom to do if such a situation were to occur. 

 I immediately panicked. At 10 years old, my mom was my anchor. Later, after becoming a grown-up, I heard someone say: 'For a child, their mother is an existence akin to God, because she is often the main source of warmth, security and affection'. 

My father had died long ago when I was just an infant. I had no memories of him but I never felt like I was lacking a dad. That's because Mom was always there for me, all of my young life, we had never been separated for long. To have her suddenly taken away from me, I just couldn't cope. I wanted nothing more than to go hide under the covers and wait there until everything fixed itself somehow. But I knew I had to do something.

Mom had told me that if she ever failed to return home, I should go to Mrs. Rodriguez's house. She was my mom's acquaintance; they had met at one of mom's part time jobs a few months ago. Mom often praised her a lot back then because she was very knowledgeable and had helped several migrants. I knew her by sight, but hadn't really interacted with her or her family before. Still, I was a well-behaved kid. So, I decided to follow my mom's instructions. I grabbed my school backpack, took out the books and put in some things that my young mind considered "necessities". My favorite plushie, some crackers, a book, my warmest sweater, my tooth brush, a comb. 

I went out and headed to that lady's house. My mom had made sure I could identify it by sight. It was located a couple of blocks down our street, so it only took me a short while to get there. It was a rather small and unkempt building. I felt unease settle in my stomach. I'd always been a rather shy girl so I felt reluctant to ring the bell. I was about to turn away when I heard a cheerful "Hey" behind me. I'll never forget the moment I first saw her. She was around my age, with long auburn braids and a gentle smile. I thought at that instant that she was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen. I felt uncomfortable as I subconsciously compared myself to her. I was a little overweight so I'd always felt insecure of my appearance. 

She seemed to sense my unease "Are you here to visit?" She asked me. It was very kind of her to ask but, I couldn't even speak, only managed to nod. She chuckled and grabbed my hand "It's been a while since we had visitors" she said, then led me inside the house. 

Her mother was a stocky woman not that much taller than myself; her short auburn hair was streaked with a few traces of gray. She appeared exhausted, with big bags under her eyes.

I was anxious, but the girl's presence gave me a boost of confidence. I briefly explained what had happened to mom, trusting that as an adult she would know what to do and how to solve our predicament. As a child I'd always believed that no matter what problem pops up, adults would be able to fix it for me. My mother had always kept me safe, perhaps I'd been growing up as a sheltered kid. I'd never faced a situation which made me feel truly helpless.

 It was on that day that I first experienced hopelessness, when Mrs. Rodriguez told me that my mom wasn't coming back any time soon. She explained that sugarcoating the situation was pointless, it was possible that my mom would end up getting deported. However, the situation was not hopless, just that the process was complicated and would take some time.

She walked to a phone in the hallway. While holding the receiver she turned to look at the girl. "Lucy, please accompany this girl to her house, help her pack some clothes and her school books. She'll probably be staying with us for a while". I showed her the contents of my backpack and she sighed, motioning for us to get out and do what she'd requested. Clearly, she was not impressed. I was a little disappointed because I'd expected to be praised. 

As we stepped outside, I felt very upset. My mom's situation appeared to be very complicated. I kept biting my lip, trying not to cry. "I'm sorry about what happened to your mom". Lucy said, clumsily patting my shoulder. "Thank you" It's all I managed to mumble.  Lucy was quiet the rest of the way as if she couldn't quite figure out what else to say to make me feel better.

 Lucy helped me pack some stuff on a couple of old backpacks, the stuff that didn't fit we shoved into plastic bags. Lucy was very kind; she even decided to help me by carrying several bags for me. As we were about to leave, I took a passing glance at a nearby mirror. We were carrying too much stuff, we looked funny. As if we were runaways or backpackers ready to travel all over the world. I couldn't help but chuckle. Lucy followed my gaze and noticed how silly we looked, she laughed as well and just like that the awkwardness faded away. After leaving my home we began to make some small talk. I don't remember quite clearly the contents of our conversation, something about our favorite cartoons probably.

Just as we were making our way up the street, Lucy's smile vanished. I noticed she kept glancing behind me. I was going to turn, but she grabbed my arm. "Don't" she whispered to me. "There’s a car following us, let's just hurry" she urged me in a quivering tone. I didn't turn, but I could hear it. The noise made by slowly turning wheels against the asphalt of the somewhat dilapidated street. "Should we run?" I asked. I'd been given the 'Stranger danger' talk. Although I was still too young to know the specifics of what happened to kids that were abducted by bad people, my young mind knew that it was probably something very bad. She nodded "On the count of three" she whispered back to me. We both murmured “1,2,3…!” and then broke into a run. As I ran, I became aware that the weight of all the things I carried was slowing me down. I was never a very athletic child. I knew my limitations, so despite feeling some reluctance I threw away all those heavy plastic bags. 

I thought I was going to make it, I really did. Until I heard heavy steps getting closer behind me. I began to scream when I was suddenly grabbed by my backpack. "No! let go!" I yelled in fear. The man placed a hand over my mouth. "Shut up little bitch" he growled. I never felt so scared. Moments later, I was thrown into the backseat of a car. I heard a door getting shut behind me. Then another door and shortly afterwards the car began to move.

Everything felt like a nightmare to me. I remember thinking that if I closed my eyes long enough, the bad things would go away. I would open my eyes and my mom would be there, she would hold me in her arms and smile at me, everything would be fine. As I was trying to convince myself about that, I heard a voice in the distance. It was Lucy, she was running behind the car and yelling that a bad man had taken her friend. I sat up, still scared but wanting to look at Lucy, I had some vague expectations, it made no sense but I was hoping that she was going to save me somehow. 

Something else happened instead. The man stopped the car, went out and chased Lucy. I panicked and tried to open the passenger’s door, it was locked. I felt upset but then I had an idea. I went to the front seat of the car and checked the driver's door; it was open and the key was in the ignition. I couldn't drive of course, but my mom had taught me how to lock the door from the inside. Sometimes, when she had to do a short errant, she'd leave the keys on the ignition so I could enjoy the AC. I knew how to lock and unlock the door. So, rather than running outside with my very lacking athletic skills, I did the opposite. I locked myself inside and began to honk the horn. 

The man hurried back to the vehicle, first he tried to pull open the door, when that failed, he began to hit the window closest to me as he yelled profanities. I didn't look at him, just kept honking as if my life depended on it, which it likely did.

Eventually someone did come along and the man ran away. I didn't notice though, I kept honking through my tears until I heard the police sirens. Eventually the man got caught, he had a prior record as a child molester and this time he went to jail for a long, long time. 

Even after we were rescued, the whole ordeal weighted heavily on my young mind. I was a mess and kept asking about Lucy. Even when she stood by my side and held my hand, I just kept crying, unwilling to let her out of my sight.  Therapy helped a lot, even though I still had nightmares for a few years afterwards, lately I'm doing much better.

Lucy was also a huge help; we became inseparable and often played together. As we grew up, she became my confidante and has always been there for me at both the best and toughest moments of my life. In the end, thanks to the efforts of Mrs. Rodriguez, my mom was not deported and I lived in that neighborhood until I went away to college.

It's been many years since that day. Now, as an adult, when I look back at what happened back then, I have a much clearer idea of what could've happened to me. I am fully aware of just how lucky I was.  Lucy remains a very special existence in my life. She is currently studying abroad, but we talk daily and remain close. As an only child I’d always wished to have a sister. I never imagined we would meet in such circumstances, but I'm forever grateful for her presence in my life.