You

Suitcase in hand, you head to the station. You never thought you would be leaving the city you have been living in your whole life; but what choice do you have.

You can not call a taxi, Uber, or a Lyft because that can be traced, and no one can no where you are going. So you put your baseball cap on and hold your head down to try and avoid allowing anyone to see your face. You can not let anyone see you who could possibly tell the police that they saw you and the direction you were going.

You walk to the train station with enough cash for a one way ticket, as using your credit and debit cards would be leaving a paper trail so bold that you would just be inviting the authorities to go on a trip with you.

You arrive at the train station and step up to the window and ask the clerk for a one way ticket to the farthest place you could think of. With the ticket in your hand you go to the washroom. You tuck the ticket away in your pocket then splash water on your face.

You stand tall and try to look at yourself in the face. You cannot believe that you had done it. You never knew you were capable of such an act.

You never meant to do it, and only did so because you had no other choice; at least that is what you keep telling yourself.

You hear the far off whistle of the train, it will soon be at the station. You’re face having air-dried as you were inside your head you run to the train platform. You look in the direction of where the train is coming from you see the light from the front of the train.

Seeing the upcoming light and knowing that your future lay elsewhere, you turn around to look back at your hometown past. If only you had thought to run before it all went down then you would not be guilty.

The train approached quickly, until it slowed to a halt in front of the platform. For the first time ever the train stopped with a door right in front of you as though a higher power were telling you that running was what you had to do. The doors opened, and you took a high step up, and boarded the train. You found a seat in the middle of the car, you chose it because there was no one sitting there and right now you really needed to be left alone.

Before you knew it the train had sounded the warning whistle letting people know the doors were about to close, the doors closed and the train started off carrying you to the next chapter of your life.

You were terrified of what lay ahead. How would you work, you would have to get a fake I.D. How to get a fake I.D. you did not know, but being resourceful you would find a way; even if you had to learn to make one yourself you would.

That was only one of the obstacles with uprooting your life suddenly like this. Where would you live, what would you eat, how would you get around; you left everything behind. All of these things would have been thought out had you been able to plan the move, but alas, you had not planned to move.

You had not thought about the things you were leaving behind in your haste. Realizing how much you were going to have to reinvent yourself and just what starting over meant started giving you horrible anxiety.

You wished you had someone to talk to about everything that was going on, about what you did and why you had to run. However, you had to leave without telling anyone so no one would know where you are. And you did not want to incriminate any of your friends and family.

You were alone, you were going to be alone, because along with all of your things you had to leave all of your friends and family behind. Suddenly the thought ‘I am going to be alone forever’ entered your mind and was the only thing that was on your mind. It made you feel lonely and sad.

Maybe you deserved it, to be alone, to have no one and nothing. After all, you committed a crime. What right did you have to any sort of life or friendship, when you knew you belonged in a cage.

In the midst of your thoughts you looked out the window, you did not recognize anything, you had long ago left your hometown. So lost in your thought you did not even realize it. A overwhelming sadness passed over you, at the same time a sense of relief.

You could never outrun what you did, but you could run from anyone ever finding out. Still, the guilt would forever be with you.

Was running the right idea you wondered to yourself. After all you could admit to all that you ha done, served your time, and cleared your conscience. But how would your friends look at you? How would your family view you? Either way would end the same way with you alone and restarting your life.

Maybe it was selfish, but you would rather flee without the consequence of prison.

Remembering what you had done, reliving it over and over again, trying to make sense of it. You committed a crime, that was for sure. However, what was unsure of whether or not anyone would understand why you had to do it. There really was no other option.

Anyone else under the same circumstances would have done the same thing. At least that is what you tell yourself.

Who knows maybe somebody would have come up with a better solution. In that moment with no other ideas coming to you, and no time to think it thoroughly through, you did what was best for you.

Survival instincts kicked in, you immediately knew nobody would see it your way though that is why you had to run.

Your conscience resolved on you were only doing what you had to do, you looked forward as the train drove you in the same direction.